The iconic 70’s situation comedy “The Brady Bunch” is celebrating its 50th anniversary, and this milestone elicits memories of my  childhood and fears of my impeding death.

The beloved series chronicled the misadventures of a large family united when a widower (Robert Reed) and his three sons and a widow (Florence Henderson) and her three daughters get married.

Mike Brady was the perfect TV dad, and Carol Brady was the quintessential MILF, although my 12-year-old version simply perceived her as very cute and charming.

Marcia Brady (Marcia Marcia Marcia!) was my childhood crush, I was in 7th heaven whenever an episode centered on her travails. I bore a striking resemblance to Greg Brady, although I didn’t have his groovy wardrobe or his singing talent.

Pigtail-wearing Cindy Brady was the epitome of innocence, I didn’t know any of my friends or classmates who wouldn’t have traded in their sisters for the youngest Brady.

As an adult I learned that the actors who portrayed the Brady family were nothing like TV counterparts. Florence Henderson who played the eternally cheerful Carol Brady suffered from clinical depression; Robert Reed who portrayed the All-American Dad Mike Brady was a closeted gay man; and cute-as-a-button Susan Olsen who played Cindy Brady grew up to be a Donald Trump supporter. The horror! The Horror!

Cindy Brady a Trump sycophant? I no longer fear death! Life is horrible and I long for sweet oblivion!