Like the Biblical Samson Trump Will Have an Epic Downfall

The Biblical Samson was a political leader, a judge who ruled Israel before the institution of the monarchy.

Samson’s luxurious long hair was his pride and joy and the source of his power allowing him to perform superhuman feats including slaying a lion with his bare hands and massacring a Philistine army with a donkey’s jawbone.

His enemies knew that if they somehow managed to cut his long hair, it would violate his Nazirite vow and nullify his superhuman powers. Therefore, his archenemy the Philistines dispatched his lover Delilah to cut his hair while he was sleeping, and the enfeebled Samson was captured by the Philistines, who gouged out his eyes and forced him to mill grain at Gaza City.

Donald Trump is a former president, who dreams of being a king, he was president while America was still a democracy, but if he regains power, he will turn our democracy not into a monarchy, but a White National Christian theocracy.

Trump lacks Samson’s luxurious locks of hair, his wispy hair resembles cotton candy that’s been soaked in urine. Nevertheless, the narcissist is proud of his coiffure; at a MAGA rally, the orange baboon bragged about his hair:

 “You know I have this gorgeous head of hair — when I take a shower, I want water to pour down on me. When you go into these new homes with showers, the water drips down slowly, slowly.”

The deviant probably fantasizes about Russians hookers pissing on his hair, the urine dripping down to his mushroom-shaped micro penis.

White evangelicals worship Trump as God’s anointed strong man, they are persuaded that he is God’s man of the hour, and they believe every lie and absurdity that emanates from his sphincter-shaped mouth as the Gospel truth.

Samson was brought down and defeated by his dalliance with Delilah, a prostitute. Trump has engaged in many trysts with porn stars, Playboy bunnies and other women of dubious moral virtue, but it hasn’t affected his good standing with evangelicals. However, if Trump is convicted in his hush-money trial it may convince enough mainstream Republicans and Independents to vote for Biden and cost him the election.