“Arnold Palmer was all man, and I say that in all due respect to women — and I love women, but this guy, this guy, this is a guy that was all man. This man was strong and tough. And I refuse to say it, but when he took showers with the other pros, they came out of there, they said, ‘Oh my God, that’s unbelievable.'”

Donald Trump

When Trump goes off script you never know where his demented stream-of-consciousness rant will take him. He might mention “the late great Hannibal Lecter” as if he were a historical character, he might wax poetic about windmills causing cancer or go into a tirade about toilets that need a dozen times to flush.

But I never thought that Dementia Don would go off on a 12-mintute riff about the virtues of Arnold Palmer, climaxing in an off-color joke about Palmer’s huge dick.

This soliloquy praising Palmer’s manhood was totally inappropriate considering many MAGA cultists make pilgrimages to Trump rallies with their children in tow. Isn’t the Republican Party supposed to be the party of family values? Don’t his evangelical supporters worship him as a messiah figure? I don’t think that Jesus ever praised the apostle Peter for having a penis longer than the spear he used to catch fish.

Trump is a billionaire who unwinds by playing a few rounds of golf, but his story about Palmer, regardless how interesting it may have been, didn’t resonate with his blue-collar supporters who can’t afford to buy a set of golf clubs that sell for an average of a thousand bucks.

I don’t care if Palmer’s penis was as long as his putter, a presidential candidate should have the decency and discretion to keep that information to himself.