Burger King Mascot Creepiest Mascot of All Time

“Belgium`s royal family says it has contacted the fast food chain Burger King over an ad that invites people to choose between the country`s King Philippe and the company`s mascot.

The ad, on whoistheking.be, asks those who choose Philippe: Are you sure? He won`t be the one to cook your fries.

A spokesman said the use of the king`s image must be approved by the royal family, but they had not been asked.

On the website, Philippe is represented by a cartoon.”


I love Burger King, I would be perfectly content to subsist on a diet of Whoppers and burgers for the rest of my life, however short that life may be.

But I loathe with an undying loathing the perpetually smiling, plastic-faced Burger King mascot, he is the creepiest fast food mascot of all time.

Any father would let his only daughter marry Ronald McDonald, rather than allow her go out on one date with the perversely creepy Burger King.

The Burger King corporation banished the loathsome king in 2011, but for some unfathomable reason he made a comeback in 2015.

I don`t live in Belgium but I went to the whoishteking.be Web site to vote for King Philippe over Burger King. I would vote for any world leader, including Kim Jong-un over the Burger King, with the exception of Donald Trump.

There`s nothing better in the world than biting into a juicy Big Whopper, but if a Burger King commercial featuring the Burger King comes on while I`m eating the burger, it would make me vomit.

Burger King would be well-advised to banish the Burger King forever!

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Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Evil Ronald McDonald Statue Stolen From McDonald’s Restaurant

“Crime Stoppers in New Jersey is offering a reward for the return of a life-size Ronald McDonald statue stolen form a local restaurant.

The Hunterdon County Prosecutor said the iconic 250-pound fiberglass statue was stolen from a McDonald`s restaurant between 11 p.m. April 26 and 10 a.m. April 27.

New Jersey Crime Stoppers is accepting anonymous tips and offering a reward of $500 to have the statue returned to its owners, Philip and Diane Koury, who have co-owned the franchise since 1991.”


It doesn`t get any more evil than a life-size statue of a clown sitting on a bench outside of a McDonald`s restaurant, the civic-minded citizen who stole the abomination should be awarded a key to the city.

A clown is a universal symbol of evil, and to plant a statue of clown outside of a McDonald`s as a means of enticing young children to enter the Golden Arches that leads to obesity, tooth decay and myriad other diseases is the real crime.

Snitches get stitches and anybody who narcs on the gentleman who stole the accursed Ronald McDonald statue should end up looking as if he was sewn together by Dr. Frankenstein.

I hope the evil statue is never found, and I hope the evil McDonald`s goes out of business.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Burger King Giving Away Sex Toys in Adult Meals for Valentine’s Day

“While most of us might agree that a Valentine`s Day date at a fast food joint is kind of the worst thing ever, Burger King is prepared to fight that stigma. This year, the Israeli version of the OG chain is offering a romantic boxed food for two called the Adults Meal-designed for those 18 and older, so bring your ID-that comes with two Whoppers, two packets of fries, two beers, and a romantic adult toy. Spoiler alert: That means sex toy.

`Kids` meal? That`s for kids,` the commercial`s narrator seductively declares, before informing us that `Burger King presents the Adults Meal, with an adult toy inside. Only on Valentine`s Day.` The deal will only be available at BK locations in Israel on Feb. 14, from 6 p.m. until closing.”


Denizens of a trailer park may consider a Valentine`s Day date at a Burger King the epitome of romance, but those of us whose teeth and brain cells haven`t been destroyed by meth would rather give Rosie O`Donnell a bikini wax than take our Valentine`s date to a fast food joint.

On the other hand, I`m sick and tired of being asked “do you want fries with that?” as soon as I step inside a burger joint, it would be refreshing to hear: Do you want a dildo with that?

An Israeli Burger King selling an adult meal with a whopper of a toy inside? The toy might as well be a miniature golden calf, divine vengeance will surely follow!

Read More: http://www.glamour.com/story/burger-king-israel-adults-only-meals-with-adult-toys-valentines-day

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is a KFC-scented Candle Romantic?

“The New Zealand wing of KFC is offering fried chicken lovers the chance to win a strange piece of merchandise: a scented candle.

The fast food eatery posted to Facebook showing a supposedly fried chicken-scented candle bearing the image of the chain’s Colonel Sanders logo.

‘To go in the draw to win one just suggest another piece of KFC merchandise you’d like to see from us in the comments below!’ the post said.

The eatery said the winners will be announced Monday. The post did not say how many of the candles would be made available.”


There is nothing more romantic than a candlelit dinner, a floral-scented candle enhances the amorous ambience. A fried chicken-scented candle bearing the KFC logo will bring any budding sexual yearnings to a screeching halt.

There is an outside chance than a young woman might be turned on by a lobster-scented candle featuring a Red Lobster logo, but there’s zero chance that you’ll ever hear back from your date if she sees a KFC candle on your dinner table.

Sex Education 101: Men and women aren’t alike! Dudes think there’s nothing sexier than sharing a bucket of fried chicken with a hot girl while Lil’ Wayne’s “Pussy Monster” is playing on the stereo.

Dudes pretend you have a modicum of class when you are on a date!

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