farts

Sniffing Farts Can Stave Off Disease

“Hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives farts their rotten smell, can help stave off disease.
And it`s all to do with a specific gas that is released when you pop off.

Hydrogen sulphide, the gas that gives flatulence its repulsive smell, can help reduce the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and help stave off dementia, research suggests.”

The Sun

Does your co-worker in the cubicle next to you suffer from a chronic case of flatulence? You`ve complained to your supervisor, Human Resources and your union to no avail, and now you are so desperate that you`re considering poisoning his coffee. Instead of killing the flatulent fool, you should cook him beans for lunch.

After all it turns out that smelling farts reduces the risk of heart attack, stroke, cancer, and stave off dementia. Farters do more to improve our health than doctors, and instead of cursing them out we should show them some appreciation.

If your husband passes gas after sex, instead of threatening to divorce him, breathe in the fumes, and thank him for capping off the great sex with his manly fart.

It was researchers at the University of Exeter who discovered the medical benefits of sniffing farts, thank God that scientists aren`t just farting around but conducting critical research.

But seriously if a wanker farts around me I`m not going to sniff his farts in appreciation of the medical benefits, I`m going to beat him to within an inch of his life in appreciation of the psychological benefits of kicking his ass.

Read More:

https://www.thesun.co.uk/fabulous/4779755/could-sniffing-your-partners-farts-be-good-for-you-research-finds-the-smell-of-flatulence-could-ward-off-disease/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Farting Passenger Forces Passengers Off Airplane

“A person who `passed gas` on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.

The incident happened when passengers on the flight became ill with nausea and headaches, according to a spokesperson with Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

All the passengers were taken off the plane and after the incident was investigated it was determined that a passenger `passed gas,` the official said.”

WNCN

After waiting in lines for hours and being groped by TSA goons, passengers finally board their plane, but their nightmare has just started.

A cattle-car affords more amenities than an airplane, where do I start? A seat with ample leg room — for a midget, overhead compartments that are too small to accommodate your luggage, flight attendants with the bedside manner of a serial killer, obese passengers who invade your precious personal space …

Then there`s always that flatulent passenger, and keep it mind that even if the cabin air was fart-free, it`s already germ-laden, rancid, and fetid.

In almost every public setting if you feel that you are about to pass gas, you can always find a restroom where you can fart away to your heart`s content without sickening others.

But an airplane has only one or two bathrooms, and there`s always a line, you have no choice but to let your fart escape to the dismay of your fellow passengers.

To make matters worse the gross airplane meals are guaranteed to make your farts smell like something that could only emanate from Satan`s arsehole.

I can deal with snakes on a plane, and even with jihadists on a plane, but nobody can deal with a farter on a plane.

American Airlines later released a statement that nobody believes:

We did have an aircraft from Charlotte to RDU this afternoon, that landed at 2:19 p.m. ET, and arrived the gate at 2:21 p.m. ET, that is currently out of service for an actual mechanical issue – and odor in the cabin. But It is not due to “passed gas” as mentioned.

Read More:

http://wncn.com/2017/07/16/passed-gas-forces-passengers-from-plane-at-rdu-spokesperson-says/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes