Robert Paul Reyes: My List of Unusual Thanksgiving Blessings

I`ve already posted a serious list of Thanksgiving blessings:

http://thesop.org/story/20181114/robert-paul-reyes-my-list-of-thanksgiving-blessings.html

 

This is my list of unusual Thanksgiving blessings.

DISABILITY PLACARD

Unlike most wankers who have a disabled license plate or placard I have a legitimate disability. I`m thankful for my disabled placard because it affords me the luxury of parking in front of the grocery store, movie theatre or restaurant like the biggest pimp in town.

BLUETOOTH TECHNOLOGY

I`m grateful for Bluetooth technology because when I talk to myself in public, as I am wont to do, folks just assume I`m using Bluetooth headphones.

GROCERY STORE SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINES

Thank God for these self-checkout stations, they allow me to avoid human interaction. I`m tired of cashiers looking at me askance when they scan my unhealthy items.

NETFLIX

I have access to thousands of films, and thanks to using my sister`s account it doesn`t cost me a dime.

CAT VIDEOS

Who doesn`t love cat videos? Fortunately, they are as ubiquitous as porn, and the purring of the kitties is nowhere near as annoying as the fake moaning of porn stars.

EMOTICONS

I`m a minimalist to the core and sending an angry smiley saves me a hell of a lot of keystrokes.

FUN SIZE CANDY BARS

I can pop a dozen of these in my mouth without feeling like a total pig.

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