A Senile Donald Trump Calls in to ‘Fox & Friends’ on his Birthday

Most septuagenarians celebrate birthdays by putting on their dentures to nibble at a sheet cake from Costco with their fellow nursing home residents whose names they’ve long ago forgotten.

Trump’s mind is as addled as your average nursing home resident, but wealth and privilege has enabled him to move from a mansion to the White House, and he celebrated his 73rd birthday by calling in to the three bobble head dolls/anchors of Fox & Friends: Steven Doocy, Ainsely Earhardt, and Brian Kilmeade.

If your senile grandpa calls you on his birthday you will indulge him for a few minutes before cutting him off, but when the demented grandpa is the President of the United States and he’s calling in to his favorite show in his favorite network the three stooges have no recourse but to let him eat up almost an hour of the top-rating cable news program.

The marathon call was a 50-minute stream of consciousness/river of petty vindictiveness occasionally interrupted with a sycophantic comment from dumb, dumber, and bimbo.

I’m not going to get into the substance of Trump’s diatribe for that would be as educational and enlightening as examining my diarrhea after consuming a 7-11  hotdog. Suffice to say that watching Trump call in to Fox & Friends lowered my IQ by 20 points, and raised my blood pressure by 50 points.

Donald Trump’s Disastrous Interview with George Stephanopoulos

Donald Trump’s interview with ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos was an unmitigated disaster, it exposed the president as unprepared and unpresidential. It’s no wonder that Trump rarely grants an interview with a real journalist, and he prefers to chat with the friendly news personalities of Fox News.

In the most shocking segment of the interview Trump told Stephanopoulos that he’d accept dirt on his opponents offered by other governments and ridiculed the idea of telling the FBI about it. Trump’s answer proves that the only lesson he learned from the Mueller investigation is that he can get away with anything, and he considers himself above the law.

When the stable genius was pressed by Stephanopoulos on why he didn’t answer questions from Mueller about obstruction, the short-fingered vulgarian resorted to name-calling, calling the 5’5” journalist “a little wise guy.” Once again demonstrating that when the fuc*ing moron can’t compete on an intellectual level, he lasing out with juvenile insults.

In one part of the interview the 6’3” buffoon was sitting at the Oval Office while the petite Stephanopoulos was standing, negating Trump’s height advantage and making him appear small. Where the hell are Trump’s handlers, are they too afraid to give him advice?

Stephanopoulos clearly came ahead in the encounter, he refused to be intimidated by Trump’s bluster, and refused to accept his initial disclaimers.

Drag Queens Make Lovely Video for Mike Pence’s Birthday

Gay?

Donald Trump is turning 73 on June 14, and he’s managed to restrain himself from issuing an executive order making his birthday a national holiday. However, he is making a big deal out of his birthday, an email was sent this week to subscribers of the Trump-Pence campaign urging them to sign a birthday card that his lackeys will bestow on him come June 14. Their goal: Two million signatures.

Vice President Mike Pence will turn 60 on June 7, and I know what y’all are thinking: with his constipated smile and his white hair he looks older than Trump. Some kindhearted drag queens are making sure that Pence’s important day isn’t overlooked by releasing a video wishing him a happy birthday by urging people to donate money to LGBTQ organization in the homophobe’s name.

The drag peformers parody Marilyn Monroe’s famous “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” performance to John F. Kennedy by singing the sultry song to Pence.

Many raging homophobes are latent gay men, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Pence bats for the same team as these lovely drag queens.

I bet Pence will play this video every day until he joins the big Broadway chorus line in heaven.

Mike Pence Says Banning Pride Flags at US Embassies is ‘the Right Decision’

Vice President Mike Pence confirmed reports that Pride flags had been banned from U.S. embassies, and expressed his support for the administration’s decision. June is Pride Month, and in an interview with NBC’s Kristen Welker, the vice president said four embassies’ requests to fly rainbow flags, which symbolize LGBTQ pride, were denied.

‘I’m aware that the State Department indicated that on the flagpole of our American embassies, one flag should fly, and that’s the American flag. And I support that,’ Pence said.

CBS News

It’s not exactly breaking news that Vice President Mike Pence supports the administration’ decision to ban Pride flags from American embassies. First of all the obsequious Pence has never publicly disagreed with any of Trump’s policies or statements, and secondly the notorious anti-gay religious conservative considers the Pride flag aesthetically and theologically offensive.

On May 31, 2019 Donald Trump tweeted:

As we celebrate LGBT Pride Month and recognize the outstanding contributions LGBT people have made to our great Nation, let us also stand in solidarity with the many LGBT people who live in dozens of countries worldwide that punish, imprison, or even execute individuals on the basis of their sexual orientation.

The stable genius is such a  hypocrite, what better way to stand in solidarity with the many LGBT people who live in countries where they are persecuted, and even put to death, for the crime of being gay, than by allowing the Rainbow flag to fly from U.S embassies?

When he was governor of Indiana Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act, a law that allowed citizens to cite religious reasons for refusing to serve gays and lesbians. The Vice President’s wife, Karen Pence teaches at a Christian school that bars employees for engaging in homosexual activity. In other words, for as long as they cling to their narrow interpretation of the Bible, Pence and his wife will remain hopelessly homophobic.

The blatantly racist Trump and the zealously homophobic Pence are a threat to our inclusive secular democracy, and everybody who values liberty, freedom and racial and religious harmony should vote this evil men out of office in 2020.  

Read More: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/pence-defends-decision-to-ban-pride-flags-from-flying-at-u-s-embassies/

Donald Trump Signed The D-Day Proclamation In The Wrong Place

stable Genius

“Of course, Trump was unlikely to let arguably the single most momentous and traumatic day of fighting of the 20th century upstage him. He was one of 15 world leaders to sign a special D-Day proclamation reaffirming the importance of co-operation and peace, but took the opportunity to remind everyone in Europe who’s the best by completely forgoing basic letter-signing decorum. Nothing says ‘We affirm that it is our shared responsibility to ensure that the unimaginable horror of these years is never repeated’ quite like scrawling your name at the top of a proclamation to show you’re actually the best.”

Esquire

After almost two and a half years in office, Donald Trump has signed myriad executive orders, and you’d think that the stable genius would know that important documents are signed at the bottom.

But it’s probably not ignorance as much as narcissism that compelled the fucking moron to scrawl his signature at the top of the proclamation.

He wanted his signature to stand out, and he didn’t want the name of any of the European leaders to be in close proximity to his own. Just to me sure his signature stood out, he did a John Hancock.

I guess we can’t rule out that the buffoon thought that “D-Day” stood for “Donald Day”, and his autograph deserved a place of honor.

Dear Lord what a moron! Some patriot should tie his tiny hands so he can’t tweet or sign anything.

Read More: https://www.esquire.com/uk/latest-news/a27881494/donald-trump-signed-the-d-day-proclamation-in-completely-the-wrong-place/

It’s a Sin for White Evangelicals to Pray that God Protect Trump

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” — 1 Timothy 2:1-2

For generations Christians, including evangelicals, interpreted this admonition from the Apostle Paul as a directive to pray that their political leaders were guided by the wisdom of the Almighty. Even in authoritarian states where Christians were persecuted, they prayed that their dictators might bend to the will of God.

These prayers were uttered in the same spirit of a beauty queen contestant’s pontification on world peace during the interview segment of the beauty pageant. No one believes that a beauty queen’s soliloquy on peace will bend the moral arc of the universe toward peace and justice, and no Christian really believes that his supplications for political leaders will have an effect on their morality and adherence to Scripture.

But in the 1970’s with the rise of the Moral Majority, white evangelicals started to equate spirituality with the Republican Party, and instead of praying in a general sense for wisdom for political leaders, they prayed that the Congress and the president would uphold the family values of the GOP: anti-abortion, anti-women, and pro guns, a strong military and prayer in public schools.

Being pro-Republican is so ingrained in evangelical thinking that they now embrace a thrice married real estate huckster and serial sexual predator who became president by demonizing immigrants and palling around with white nationalists.

When white evangelicals intercede with the Almighty on behalf of Trump they don’t pray that he repent of his racism, intolerance and mean and petty ways, they pray that God would defend him from his enemies and bring his racist policies to fruition.  

And they really believe in the efficacy of their prayers, they are persuaded that God is blessing their false Messiah, and his mission to make America Great Again.

We can be faithful to Paul’s teaching to pray for those in high positions without selling our souls to an extreme political ideology. Simply put: If a president’s policies and rhetoric are antithetical to the message of love and peace of the Gospels pray for his repentance, and if he rules with compassion and understanding, pray that God continues to bless him.

But thoughts and prayers and two bucks won’t get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, vote the short-fingered vulgarian out of office in 2020.

The Old Stumbling Bumbling Joe Biden Returns

For the first six weeks of his campaign, Joe Biden largely drifted above the fray, a front-runner beyond the reach of the masses of the Democratic presidential field. His rivals publicly welcomed him into the race, and not a cross word was said about his moderate policy proposals or his advanced age.

For the first six weeks of his presidential campaign, Joe Biden engaged in a Hillary-like campaign: relaxing comfortably above the fray he barely deigned to acknowledge the existence of his myriad rivals.

His competitors publicly enthusiastically welcomed him into the race, and they treated him with the dame deference that functionaries in North Korea treat Kim Jong-un.

The heresy that Democratic presidential hopefuls shouldn’t speak ill of one another lest they weaken the eventual nominee had taken over the Democratic Party.

But politics ain’t beanbag, in fact it’s not even dodge ball, it’s a WWE Battle Royale where entertainment may be the name of the game, but the contestants suffer real physical injuries.

Miraculously, Biden survived the first six weeks of his campaign without suffering a major blunder, primarily because he barley campaigned and didn’t grant any interviews.

But you can always count on Biden to be Biden, and this week the real bumbling and stumbling Biden surfaced, and his opponents were quick to pounce.

In an unforgivable flub, for someone whose 1987 presidential run was derailed because of plagiarism, his campaign was forced to confess to plagiarizing a portion of the climate change plane he released this week.

On this same fateful week Biden reaffirmed his support of the Hyde Amendment – a measure banning federal funding for most abortions that’s universally opposed by his Democratic challengers – he reversed himself a couple of days later, saying he no longer supports the controversial measure.  

Biden’s rivals from the joke candidates like Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.) to serious challengers like Sen. Elizabeth Warren were quick to attack him.

Enough with the kid gloves treatment, if Biden is to survive the Democratic Primary (which I doubt), a little roughing up by his rivals will do him good.

Don’t Ring My Doorbell!

“Have millennials killed the doorbell? People admit they’re ‘too scared’ to answer the ‘aggressive’ ring – and don’t open the door to visitors unless they TEXT.”

Daily Mail

I have watched too many flicks where a knock on the door or a doorbell ring is a prelude to mayhem and murder, and I regard a knock on my door or a doorbell ring as an assault on my safety, privacy and security.

Not that I get many unwanted visitors, the “no soliciting sign”, the four “beware of dog” signs and the alarm company decals tends to discourage Jehovah’s Witnesses, salespersons and brats selling candy to raise money for school activities.

When contractors, friends and family members visit me, they send me a text when they arrive at my home, or they honk the horn (I know really ghetto but not as intrusive and invasive as a doorbell.)

In fact, if it weren’t for doorbell camera systems doorbells would have become extinct by now.

The last time someone knocked on my door, the sun had already set, and without looking to see who it was, I shouted “What the hell do you want?” I didn’t hear a reply and there was no second knock. If you come to my little pink house, think twice before knocking!

Read More:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7107379/Have-Milennials-killed-doorbell-People-admit-theyre-scared-answer-aggressive-ring.html

Move Over Trump Baby Blimp, Here Comes the Farting Trump Robot

“Thousands of Brits took to the streets here Tuesday, where they marched alongside a 16-foot farting robot of Donald Trump and held aloft huge photos of John McCain in an attempt to trigger the president.”

Daily Beast

During Donald Trump’s visit to the UK, the inflatable caricature of Trump (universally known as Trump Baby) was flown in protest of his racism, bigotry, and xenophobia. Basically the blimp is a protest against everything foul that Trump represents.

The balloon which has achieved iconic status was first flown over Parliament Square, London on July 28, in protest of Trump’s first visit to England as president.

Trump Baby has a presence on all the major social media platforms, and he is so popular that he has made appearances at anti-Trump demonstrations in Paris, Buenos Aires and other major cities, and replicas of the beloved blimp have flown over hundreds of anti-Trump rallies all over the world.

Move over Trump Baby, a new Trump protest symbol made its inaugural appearance this week in London. The Trump farting robot sits atop his golden throne (a golden toilet) with a smartphone in his tiny hand. It emits farting noises and the mantra “no collusion.”

I favor the realism school of art, therefore I would have filled the toilet bowl with real excrement, and given Trump’s penchant for golden showers I would have poured urine all over the work of art. But at least the creator, Don Lessem, kept things real my making his penis only three millimeters.

I’ve grown in love with Trump Baby, and I don’t think the Farting Trump Robot will become quite as popular, but kudos to the Brits for being so inventive and creative.

Read More: https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-in-britain-thousands-of-brits-protest-presidents-visit-alongside-16-foot-farting-robot

Donald Trump Shocks the World With New Hairstyle

On Sunday Donald Trump attended a service for victims of the mass shooting in Virginia Beach sporting a new hairdo.

This is earth shattering news, first of all the evangelicals’ darling attends church only on Easter and Christmas, and secondly he never changes his hairstyle.

Trump’s urine-colored weird hairstyle is his trademark, and he’s never been known to deviate from his peculiar look.

Trump arrived at the church straight from his real place of worship, the golf course, wearing a baseball cap, and some argue that Trump wasn’t trying out a new look, and that he was simply suffering from a case of “hat hair.”

By the time Trump landed in London on Monday he had returned to his signature look that we hate so much.

With his slicked back hair Trump looked normal, we’re talking used car salesman normal, televangelist normal, or creepy old dude trying to look normal,  but somewhat normal nevertheless.

I guess it really doesn’t matter what hairstyle he dons, his mouth still looks like a sphincter, his complexion is still orange, and he still has two or three chins, depending on how many burgers he eats on a given day.

Pic of Trump’s new hairdo:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/hairstylists-react-to-donald-trumps-slick-american-psycho-hair?ref=scroll