America Wants Donald Trump to Stop Tweeting

“President Donald Trump may insist his tweets are a way to get his honest and unfiltered message out,” but a majority of voting Americans – including Trump`s supporters – say he should spend less time on Twitter.


According to a new Morning Consult poll released Wednesday, more than two thirds of voters – 69 percent – say Trump uses Twitter too much, compared to just 15 percent who say he uses it about the right amount and only 4 percent who say he should tweet more.”

US News and World Report

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or a political science major to deduce that Donald Trump spends far too much time on Twitter. In fact, according to a new poll 69 percent of voters say Trump uses Twitter too much. Four percent say Trump should tweet more, these morons also probably think he should apply more orange fake tan.

The results of this poll beg the question: What activity should Trump engage in instead of Twitter?

Enroll in an adult education remedial English Class

Call Jenny Craig

It should be explained to the bastard that he shouldn`t call to flirt with her, but to enroll in a weight-loss program. After Trump gets over the hump and loses 40 pounds from his belly and he can see his tiny pecker for the first time in decades, it will motivate him to lose a hundred more.


Trump isn`t limber enough to do any of the classic Yoga positions, but it might mellow him out just a tad.


This game might be too complicated for Trump, but if Betsy DeVos agrees to give him a full body massage wearing only a “Make America Great Again” hat if he does well he might be inspired to become a Sudoku master.

Practice for the US Citizenship Test

I`m persuaded that this a-hole who wants to deport everyone who isn`t white would flunk the test.

Take up cutting

He could take up cutting himself as a mechanism to relieve stress, maybe we would all get lucky and he`ll cut his jugular.


Give the wanker a shiny new fishing pole and let him fish in the toilet bowl

Train for running marathons

Tell the buffoon that all once he has suffered a stroke or a heart attack he will be ready to participate in a marathon.

As you can see there must be a million and one more productive ways to spend your time, other than on Twitter. Send me your suggestions.

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Woman, 98, Teaches Yoga! You Go Girl! or Bitch Please?

“She is the `World`s Oldest Yoga Teacher` who, at age 98, still teaches five classes a week. But above all, Tao Porchon-Lynch is a poster child for health and positivity in a world obsessed by wellness and longevity.

The former model and Hollywood contract actress — who earned her title from Guinness World Records — still has a delicate, slender physique.
Once in the studio, she happily demonstrates yoga poses, even if she sometimes calls on one of her dedicated students to show off others.”


I`m not exactly lithe and limber, even in my prime I couldn`t touch my toes. I have nothing but respect for a 98-year-old woman who teaches yoga.

But I would by psychologically traumatized for life if a nonagenarian wearing Lululemon yoga pants demonstrated the Kapotasana yoga position before my tender eyes.

I`m sorry but if a yoga teacher is so old that when she is demonstrating a yoga position you wonder if she is displaying fine form or if rigor mortis has set in, it`s time for that yoga instructor to hang up her yoga pants for good.

Tao should be doing the downward-facing dog next to Jack LaLane performing calisthenics in heaven, her work here on Earth in done.

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