Donald Trump Drinks From a Bottle of Water, a Nation Gags

“President Donald Trump had his own water bottle moment, having mocked his former Republican rival Marco Rubio for his need to take a drink during speeches.

Mr. Trump, fresh from his marathon trip to Asia, paused during his address to the nation to take a swig of water – twice.”


Trump awkwardly grabbed the water bottle with both of his tiny hands, who does that? The same wanker who uses a fork and knife to eat pizza.

Watching Trump drink from his water bottle is the most disgusting thing I`ve ever witnessed on live TV. When Trump clutched the water bottle with his grotesquely tiny hands, and lifted it to his sphincter-like orifice I almost gagged. It was like witnessing Trump giving himself an enema.

If Trump isn`t impeached and removed from office, and he runs for reelection in 2020, all the Democrats have to do is run ads featuring Trump drinking from the water bottle, and he will lose in a landslide.

Trump`s Awkward Water Bottle Moment reimagined:

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November 2017 Archives Page Two:

Millennial Wankers Get Lost in the Woods Searching for UFO’s

“Three young hikers who were looking for UFOs got stranded in Blue Hills Reservation and had to be rescued by police Thursday night. But they said their harrowing night on high ground outside Boston paid off.

One of the hikers, Ramona DiFrancesco, 18, said the group saw several UFOs during their journey, including `three bright lights in the formation of a triangle` and a giant orb that looked `bigger than the moon.`

Boston Globe

These millennial scum had smart phones, but no flashlights. To go hiking in the woods, in the evening, without flashlights is nuttier than believing in UFO`s.

These morons claim to have seen several UFO`s during their adventure, including a giant orb that looked “bigger than the moon.” Idiots, if you smoke enough weed the moon will look bigger than the moon.

What fate should befall these three millennial wankers who got lost in the woods searching for flying saucers:

Discover that bears not only shi* in the woods, but they also dine on wankers trespassing on their territory.

They see a UFO in the sky, and they have a close encounter of the third kind. After being anally-probed by aliens for hours they stumble out of the woods walking bowlegged like a mother.

They are rescued by first responders, and the cops proceed to beat the holy hell out of them for wasting their time and resources.

For God`s sake, enough of this UFO tomfoolery!

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Epidemic of ‘Avocado Hand’ Injuries Proof God Hates Wankers and Millennials! Video!

“Surgeons say growing numbers of amateur chefs are reporting to accident and emergency departments with what they are calling “avocado hand”; serious stab and slash injuries that are the result of failed attempts to penetrate the fruit`s hard outer casing with a sharp knife before encountering a resistant inner stone.

The British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons is calling for safety labels on the fruit to staunch the flow of injured patients to hospitals.”

The Times

You don`t need to be a rocket scientist, a chef or a Mexican to know how to properly cut open an avocado, but with the incredible surge in the popularity of the fruit a lot of newbies are suffering serious injuries attempting to cut open the delicious treat.

I admit that I always cut open an avocado quickly because I`m eager to start eating it, but I`ve never come close to injuring myself.

Do we really need a safety label on the fruit, and what warning message would be on the label:

Morons should stick to eating fruit that doesn`t require a knife to cut it open.

Ask a Mexican American, who has years of experience eating avocados, for assistance in cutting this fruit open.

Don`t use anything sharper than a butter knife.

Bitch please!

Writing this article has given me a yearning for guacamole, and I`m not going to don safety gloves when I prepare the scrumptious meal.

Photo of clueless idiot and Avocado Hand victim Meryl Streep:

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