Donald Trump Tweets “We” and Twitter Goes Nuts

“Something amazing happened on Twitter on Saturday. The President of the United States, arguably one of the most controversial people on the platform, tweeted one word with two letters and so much power.

Donald Trump, or a White House staffer representing Trump, typed `We,` then hit the tweet button, sending the word to the president`s 29 million followers.”

Huffington Post

Trump deleted his “we” tweet a couple of minutes after posting it.

It`s obvious that Trump was starting to type a sentence when he hit the “send” button by mistake, it`s perplexing that a man with such dainty and tiny hands would hit the wrong button.

Trump wasn`t starting a declarative sentence using the royal we such as: We are going to fire Sean Spicer. Trump never employs the royal we, he likes to take sole credit for his actions, and he doesn`t want to give the impression that he is speaking on behalf of his staff.

Trump wasn`t making a minimalist philosophical statement. We, as in we are in this existential nightmare together, and we must find meaning in life as a team.

I`m not going to waste another second wondering what Trump intended to write, Shakespeare he`s not.

The moron was going to type some sort of malarkey, and dissertations won`t be written contemplating what he meant to write.

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Donald Trump Made One of His Own Tweets into a Twitter Header

“President Donald Trump`s Twitter strategy has never been subtle, but his decision Monday to top his header with one of his own tweets was bold even by his standards.

Trump briefly topped @realDonaldTrump with a note he sent at 6:41 p.m. ET after former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper testified before a Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing and said he was not aware of evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.”


I`ve been accused of being a shameless self-promoter, but even I have never considered using one of my own tweets as the header for my Twitter page.

What Donald Trump lacks in intellectual curiosity and intelligence he more than makes up for in chutzpah, he had no reservations about ordering one of his lackeys to Photoshop his tweet denying collusion with Russia into his banner image.

If Trump cares so much about optics, why doesn`t he appoint a staffer to spell-check his tweets before he posts them online?

I implore a white hat hacker to hack Trump`s Twitter feed, and replace his header image with monkeys and clowns.

What a narcissist, I will allow a decent amount of time to transpire before I copy his trick.

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Twitter User Seeks 18 Million Retweets for Free Wendy’s Nuggets

“Wendy`s challenged a Twitter user to accumulate 18 million retweets on a single tweet to earn a year of free chicken nuggets.

Carter Wilkerson tweeted at the fast-food chain`s official Twitter account to ask how many retweets would earn him a year`s supply of his favorite treat.

`Yo Wendy`s how many retweets for a year of free chicken nuggets?` Wilkerson wrote.

Wendy`s set the bar at 18 million and Wilkerson, whose Twitter bio includes the phrase `I like chicken nuggets` pleaded to his Twitter followers for help after telling the restaurant to `consider it done.`”


I don`t have a discriminating palate, and I often dine fast food restaurants, but I draw the line at ordering chicken nuggets.

Whenever a person eats an exotic food (alligator burger or buffalo stew), he usually says it tastes like chicken. God only knows what Wendy`s chicken nuggets are made of, one thing`s for sure Wendy`s nuggets are the only non-chicken meat that doesn`t taste like chicken.

I could eat a Burger King Whopper every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would die of dysentery after a week of dining on nothing but chicken nuggets.

Yo Carter, if you`re not able to accumulate 18 million retweets don`t worry, I`ll give you free access to my septic tank, that shi* tastes better than Wendy`s chicken nuggets.

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Robot Prints and Burns Donald Trump’s Tweets, Sends Him Video! I Love Robots!

“A robot quickly growing a viral following on Twitter is dedicated to one job: Printing President Donald Trump`s tweets, burning them, and tweeting video of the process back to the president.

The Twitter account, @burnedyourtweet, stars a robot programmed to print out tweets from the president`s @realdonaldtrump account, burn them in an ashtray, film the process, and then tweets the videos to Trump with the message: I burned your tweet.”


If only Trump`s tweets existed only in printed form, and they could be destroyed in a bonfire. Unfortunately, Trump tweets exist in a digital format, and they are indestructible. His odious tweets will live forever, causing discord and division for generations to come.

Who is the mystery engineer behind this project?

I first thought “it must be a Trump critic seeking to discredit and embarrass his administration,” but maybe it`s a Trump supporter desperately attempting to shame the president from tweeting. After all, it may very well be a tweet that leads to Trump`s downfall. The “I” word has already been mentioned in the press after Trump posted a tweet falsely accusing Barack Obama of committing a felony by wiretapping Trump Tower.

The best case scenario is that Trump will post a tweet that`s so incendiary that it will lead to his impeachment, but it`s also possible that one of his inflammatory tweets will trigger nuclear Armageddon.

I wish a patriot would break into the White House (How difficult can that be considering the Secret Service resembles the Keystone Kops?), and breaks Trump`s tiny hands with a ruler when he attempts to tweet.

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For the Good of the Country Twitter Should Ban Donald Trump

“Andrew Napolitano`s wiretapping allegations seem to have gotten him pulled off the air on Fox News.

Just Last week, Napolitano appeared on `Fox & Friends` and weighed in on President Trump`s allegation that former President Obama had him wiretapped.

`Three intelligence sources have informed Fox News that President Obama went outside the chain of command…`

`He used GCHQ. What the heck is GCHQ? That`s the initials for the British spying agency.`

This claim was then repeated by the White House.”
AOL News

Andrew Napolitano has been with Fox News almost since its inception, and he has a long history of disseminating conspiracy theories. We`re all familiar with his type, they usually sit at the end of the bar babbling about Alex Jones as if they were quoting Scripture.

Napolitano has effectively been suspended by Fox News, he was absent as a legal analyst for Supreme Court Nominee Neil Gorsuch`s Senate hearing.

Donald Trump has a lot in common with the loud guy at the bar and Napolitano, he loves conspiracy theories and he has no reservations about sharing them on social media.

Unfortunately, when the President of the United States spreads unsubstantiated allegations and crazy conspiracy theories on Twitter he diminishes his presidency, confuses the electorate, and tarnishes the international reputation of our great country.

In just over a couple of months Trump has severely weakened his presidency with his pathological lying, and spurious allegations against his political opponents.

Accusing former president Barack Obama of a felony without a shred of evidence was beyond the pale, and it has sown the seed that will lead to Trump`s eventual impeachment.

Napolitano was suspended by Fox News for impugning the integrity of a British spy agency, I wish Twitter would suspend Trump for spreading lies.

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An Angry Donald Trump is Out of Control!

“Here’s how The Washington Post described President Trump’s mood heading into this past weekend: Trump was mad — steaming, raging mad.

And here’s ABC News: President Donald Trump summoned some of his senior staff to the Oval Office and went ‘ballistic.’

The president, it seems fair to say, wasn’t happy then on Saturday morning when he sent a flurry of tweets alleging — with zero evidence — that Trump Tower had been wiretapped in the course of the 2016 campaign under orders from then-President Barack Obama. Anger — and a persistent sense that people were out to get him or weren’t treating him fairly — motivated Trump to make a massive charge: That the man he was running to replace purposely sought to sway the election via misuse of the intelligence community.”

The Washington Post

Trump was livid that Attorney General Jeff Sessions recused himself on Thursday from any investigation into charges that Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election, only hours after he declared that he saw no need for his Attorney General to recuse himself.

Trump felt that Sessions made him appear weak and ineffectual and he took out his explosive anger on those closet to him, his hapless staff. I would love to see video of Trump`s blistering attack on his handlers; I can imagine his wig flipping, his tiny hands gesticulating, hot air emanating from his mouth, and wet farts from his ass.

His seething anger hadn`t dissipated by Saturday morning, so he let loose with toxic tweets accusing former President Barack Obama of wiretapping Trump Tower in the course of the 2016 presidential campaign.

Needless to say, Trump doesn`t have a shred of proof to back up his mind blowing accusation. Trump`s preposterous allegation has been denied by a spokesperson for Obama, former DNI Director James Clapper, and by just about everyone else who isn`t connected with the Trump regime.

Trump`s anger was humorous in the debates when he was cutting down “Little Marco,” Lyin` Ted Cruz,” and “Low-energy Jeb Bush,” but his out of control temper is terrifying now that he`s the Leader of the Free World.

What if the dictator of North Korea tweets that Trump`s belligerent tone towards his country is compensation for his tiny pecker? Will Trump respond by nuking the Hermit Kingdom?

If Trump blows off steam by having an affair with a White House intern, I hope to God that the press doesn`t report on the scandal. If Trump finds a way to blow off steam, other than tweeting, we should be grateful.

Trump for the love of God please have an affair, or hire Snoop Dogg as your aide, and chill with him smoking some Chronic.

How to Cure Donald Trump of His Tweeting Addiction

Donald Trump is a liar. Period. End of story. He is a compulsive and pathological liar, he wouldn`t know the truth if it grabbed him by the groin.

Here`s a list of 99 lies Trump has told just since he`s been president:

Trump has told some whoopers, and folks think his most glaring deception was when he waved his baby hands at the debate audience and declared there was nothing wrong with the size of his manhood.

Methinks his biggest falsehood was when he told Fox & Friends two days before his presidential inauguration: Look, I don`t like tweeting! That`s like Snoop Dogg declaring: Look, I don`t like smoking weed.

Trump loves to tweet, he`s addicted to Twitter, and he needs an intervention. Mr. T, Dr. Phil and Steve Bannon should pounce on him when he attempts to tweet at an ungodly hour of the morning, and take away his phone.

Trump will need something else for his demonically diminutive hands to play with. We all know how he loves to grab them by the pussy; his handlers could give him Taylor Swift`s pussy . . . cat to play with. The pop star owns several felines, and she might donate on for the sake of national security. One inappropriate tweet and Trump could start World War III, but if he handles Swift`s pussy inappropriately, the only damage will be scratches to his baby hands.

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New Fad In China: Fake Donald Trump Tweets

“In China, Twitter is blocked but fake tweets by @realdonaldtrump look set to become the latest internet sensation.

Online users are flocking to a new Chinese website that lets them generate images of fake tweets that look just like those sent by President Donald Trump`s distinctive personal Twitter account – replete with his avatar and a real-time timestamp.

Jike, the Shanghai-based startup running the website, says that in just four days, users have created more than a million fake @realdonaldtrump tweets in Chinese and English.”

New York Post

China is the source of 86% of the world`s counterfeit goods, according to the US Chamber of Commerce. Chinese authorities have absolutely no respect for intellectual property — now Donald Trump`s Twitter feed is being counterfeited. (Although I`m not sure that Trump`s Twitter account qualifies as intellectual property.)

Fake Trump tweets are more popular than fake iPhones and real dog meat dishes in China, it`s a fad that will most likely last as long as the Trump administration.

Trump`s real tweets are so outlandish — how do you parody Twitter messages that qualify as parody? I have a feeling that fake Trump tweets will be published in official Chinese publications, and nobody will be the wiser.

What an Orwellian nightmare we live in: Fake news, alternative facts, fake tweets!

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Trump’s Twitter Feed is a Window to His Mind

“Trump has been climbing the Twitter charts recently, thanks in part to his frequent use of the social networking site. Sometime on Monday he surpassed the 20 million mark.

According to the measuring tool TwitterCounter, Trump is the 68th-most-followed user on the site, just behind Canadian singer Avril Lavigne and right ahead of Indian actor Aamir Khan.

Trump`s aides had been keeping a close eye on the follower number, waiting for the account to reach 20 million.”


We don`t filter our thoughts, sometimes they emerge from the darkest part of our soul, and our thoughts don`t accurately reflect our personality or character. The id initiates instinctive impulses than often run contrary to our religious and political beliefs.

The most loathsome words and concepts lurk in our minds, but as civilized and educated people we seldom let them escape from our lips.

Think of Donald Trump`s Twitter feed as a digital manifestation of his mind, his tweets provide us with a real-time representation of what`s going on in his mind. Of course Trump`s tweets are disjointed, confusing and frequently odious, none of us carries on a coherent politically-correct conversation in our mind.

Trump`s spokespersons and surrogates have the impossible job of deciphering his tweets, hell even Trump has a hard time explaining his tweets.

Trump would be better off if he had only 20 Twitter followers instead of 20 million, but he`s addicted to the social media platform and his stubby little fingers will continue to expose what`s going on in his little mind.

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Obama’s Most Popular Tweet

Thank you for everything. My last ask is the same as my first. I`m asking you to believe-not in my ability to create change, but in yours.

Presidential tweet from Obama

Twitter is the perfect social media platform for Donald Trump, its 140 character limit per tweet is well-suited for his crude but pithy comments.

Only an anal-retentive prick gets his panties in a twist over any mistakes in spelling, grammar or syntax in a tweet, a perfect medium for a grammar-challenged vulgarian.

Trump has brilliantly used Twitter to bypass the left-leaning mainstream media and convey his thoughts directly to his followers. Trump doesn`t have the intellectual resources to write a memoir of his presidency, but I expect he will publish a collection of his White House tweets.

Obama is no slouch at using social media to further his political objectives. Obama`s tweet echoing a line from his farewell address is the most retweeted tweet for the @POTUS Twitter account, which will soon be inherited by Trump.

My last ask? Really? Trump`s tweets may be vulgar and grammatically confusing, but he would never try to wax poetic by writing “my last ask.”

The American people believe in change, and they have voted for change by denying Obama a third term in kicking Hillary to the curb.

My last ask is for Obama to reconsider his plan to stay in Washington until his daughter graduates from high school, and return to the land of his birth.

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