I`ve already posted a serious list of Thanksgiving blessings:
This is my list of unusual Thanksgiving blessings.
Unlike most wankers who have a disabled license plate or placard I have a legitimate disability. I`m thankful for my disabled placard because it affords me the luxury of parking in front of the grocery store, movie theatre or restaurant like the biggest pimp in town.
I`m grateful for Bluetooth technology because when I talk to myself in public, as I am wont to do, folks just assume I`m using Bluetooth headphones.
GROCERY STORE SELF-CHECKOUT MACHINES
Thank God for these self-checkout stations, they allow me to avoid human interaction. I`m tired of cashiers looking at me askance when they scan my unhealthy items.
I have access to thousands of films, and thanks to using my sister`s account it doesn`t cost me a dime.
Who doesn`t love cat videos? Fortunately, they are as ubiquitous as porn, and the purring of the kitties is nowhere near as annoying as the fake moaning of porn stars.
I`m a minimalist to the core and sending an angry smiley saves me a hell of a lot of keystrokes.
FUN SIZE CANDY BARS
I can pop a dozen of these in my mouth without feeling like a total pig.