Evangelical Supporters of Donald Trump Would Deny Jesus Before They Would Forsake Trump

“Republican strategist and CNN commentator Ana Navarro slammed GOP leaders for acting like members `of the Donald Trump cult,` saying they must `step up and condemn` President Trump when circumstances demand it.

Navarro criticized House Speaker Paul Ryan for refusing to comment this week on the President`s tweet suggesting he had tapes of conversations with fired FBI Director James Comey — a statement many interpreted as a threat.

When asked about the tweet on Friday, Ryan told reporters that he was `focusing on what`s in my control, and that is what is Congress doing to solve people`s problems.`”


Kim Jong-un, the Dear Leader of North Korea, and Donald Trump the Leader of the Free World have a lot in common.

North Koreans are brainwashed since birth to believe that Kim Jong-un is a God-like, and if they fail to bestow upon him proper reverence they are killed or thrown into a concentration camp.

Trump supporters have brainwashed themselves into believing that the corrupt, vulgar, petty, and narcissistic Trump has been chosen by God to make America great again. If anyone speaks out against Trump`s inept and tyrannical rule, his supporters brand these patriots as ungodly traitors.

People who voted for Trump have made Trumpism into a religion, and they will defend their Messiah come hell or high water. I don`t know what would be more difficult, convincing an evangelical who voted for Trump to deny Jesus or to forsake Trump.

Republican senators and congressmen and congresswomen aren`t deluded by Trump, they know full well that he is ignorant, egotistical and dangerous. Ana Navarro is spot on, they should stop acting like they are members of the Donald Trump cult, and condemn his unconstitutional and un-American actions.

When Trump fired FBI Director James Comey, by his own admission because of the FBI`s Russia investigation, and then threatened him, they should have spoken out forcefully against the leader of their party.

It is incumbent upon Republican leaders to demonstrate to the American public that they are Americans before they are Republicans.

It`s a Watergate-style scandal and Republican leaders need to decide, right now, if they will be on the right side of history.

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Donald Trump Tweets “We” and Twitter Goes Nuts

“Something amazing happened on Twitter on Saturday. The President of the United States, arguably one of the most controversial people on the platform, tweeted one word with two letters and so much power.

Donald Trump, or a White House staffer representing Trump, typed `We,` then hit the tweet button, sending the word to the president`s 29 million followers.”

Huffington Post

Trump deleted his “we” tweet a couple of minutes after posting it.

It`s obvious that Trump was starting to type a sentence when he hit the “send” button by mistake, it`s perplexing that a man with such dainty and tiny hands would hit the wrong button.

Trump wasn`t starting a declarative sentence using the royal we such as: We are going to fire Sean Spicer. Trump never employs the royal we, he likes to take sole credit for his actions, and he doesn`t want to give the impression that he is speaking on behalf of his staff.

Trump wasn`t making a minimalist philosophical statement. We, as in we are in this existential nightmare together, and we must find meaning in life as a team.

I`m not going to waste another second wondering what Trump intended to write, Shakespeare he`s not.

The moron was going to type some sort of malarkey, and dissertations won`t be written contemplating what he meant to write.

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A Lynchburg Resident’s Take on Donald Trump’s Commencement Address at Liberty University

President Donald Trump delivered the commencement address at Liberty University which is located about three miles from my home. I wouldn`t drive three yards to hear Trump speak, but I did watch the spectacle on TV.

Before his big speech Trump was presented with an honorary degree from Liberty University, which carries as much weight as a degree from Trump University.

The president opened his first commencement speech at the evangelical university on Saturday by talking about the size of penis.

Just kidding, Trump managed to refrain from making any vulgar comments lest he offend the sensibilities of the conservative Christian school. Funny how evangelicals aren`t offended by Trump`s health plan that renders health care unaffordable for the elderly and the poor, and his economic policies that punish the poor and give tax breaks to the filthy rich, but they pitch a fit when comedians use obscenities to describe Trump. But I digress …

Trump did start his speech by bragging about the size of the crowd:

“I`m thrilled to be back at Liberty University. I`ve been here, this is now my third time, and we love setting records, right? We always set records. We have to set records, we have no choice.”

He again referred to the size of the crowd later in his speech, saying: “This is a beautiful stadium, and it`s packed. I`m so happy about that.”

Trump`s speech was unremarkable: Some platitudes, a few Trumpisms, and a compliment or two for Liberty University President Jerry Falwell Jr. as a reward for his early endorsement.

I could have delivered a speech of equal style and substance – when I was in elementary school. Damn Falwell for shaming Lynchburg, and damn Trump for shaming our country.

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CNN and Ice Cream-gate

“Is this why voters have lost faith in the American news media?

In what some are now calling `Ice Cream-gate`, CNN`s coverage of Donald Trump`s interview with Time Magazine highlights an apparent scoop: the president is said to receive extra ice cream with his chocolate cream pie.

`Trump takes two scoops of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie, TIME reported, while everyone else around the table gets just one,` CNN trumpeted.

Media Equalizer

The revelation that Donald Trump receives an extra scoop of ice cream with his chocolate cream pie isn`t exactly breaking news. Trump resembles a baby hippo; I`m surprised he doesn`t eat two cartons of ice cream with his damn pie.

If the Food Channel gave the breaking news treatment to the discovery that Trump usually gets two scoops of ice cream while everyone else around the table gets just one, it might be understandable. But for a cable news network to give so much play to such an insignificant story is unforgivable.

We already know that Trump is a greedy pig who thinks he deserves special treatment, if he ate two scoops of ice cream served on Sarah Huckabee Sanders` naked butt that would be a big story, but I hope to God there wouldn`t be any video.

I realize that we need a little bit of comic relief from the disastrous Trump administration, but CNN played it straight.

I`m glad I`m an unknown blogger, because if Trump read my article he would tweet: No soup and certainly no ice cream for Robert Paul Reyes! He is pathetic. SAD!!!

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Photo Credit: Wikipedia

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Epidemic of ‘Avocado Hand’ Injuries Proof God Hates Wankers and Millennials! Video!

“Surgeons say growing numbers of amateur chefs are reporting to accident and emergency departments with what they are calling “avocado hand”; serious stab and slash injuries that are the result of failed attempts to penetrate the fruit`s hard outer casing with a sharp knife before encountering a resistant inner stone.

The British Association of Plastic, Reconstructive and Aesthetic Surgeons is calling for safety labels on the fruit to staunch the flow of injured patients to hospitals.”

The Times

You don`t need to be a rocket scientist, a chef or a Mexican to know how to properly cut open an avocado, but with the incredible surge in the popularity of the fruit a lot of newbies are suffering serious injuries attempting to cut open the delicious treat.

I admit that I always cut open an avocado quickly because I`m eager to start eating it, but I`ve never come close to injuring myself.

Do we really need a safety label on the fruit, and what warning message would be on the label:

Morons should stick to eating fruit that doesn`t require a knife to cut it open.

Ask a Mexican American, who has years of experience eating avocados, for assistance in cutting this fruit open.

Don`t use anything sharper than a butter knife.

Bitch please!

Writing this article has given me a yearning for guacamole, and I`m not going to don safety gloves when I prepare the scrumptious meal.

Photo of clueless idiot and Avocado Hand victim Meryl Streep:


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Dwayne Johnson, The Rock, For President in 2020!

“Dwayne `The Rock` Johnson says he considers a White House run `a real possibility`.

In an interview with GQ magazine, the wrestler turned Hollywood producer responded to fans calling for him to take on another role – president of the United States.

The world`s highest-paid actor said he started considering the option after reading an article in The Washington Post arguing he could be a viable candidate after Donald Trump.”


Hillary Clinton failed to break the ultimate glass ceiling, but I still believe that our generation will witness the first female president.

But Donald Trump shattered another glass ceiling, if a B-list celeb can be elected president of the United States it`s a certainty that a mega-star celeb will be sitting in the Oval Office in the near future.

I can imagine a Democratic Oprah Winfrey/Meryl Streep ticket winning the general election against a GOP team of Sylvester Stallone/Jessica Simpson.

The Rock is the most popular movie star in the world, he has a family-friendly reputation, he`s eminently likeable, and I believe that he would win in a general election against any politician or celebrity, with the possible exception of Baby Groot.

The Rock is a registered Independent, and he attended both the Republican and Democratic conventions in 2000 to encourage citizens to vote.

If Donald Trump manages to avoid impeachment and runs for reelection in 2020, I hope The Rock will run as a Democrat or an Independent against him.

The Rock`s 2020 slogan: Make America Rock Again!

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Dalai Lama Fails to Remove Negative Energy From Nancy Pelosi! Where’s Mr. T?

After meeting with the Dalai Lama Democratic Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi told a crowd that the Tibetan spiritual leader had prayed for her that she would rid herself of her negative attitude about dwelling on the negative too much.

With all due respect to the Buddhist guru, his namby-pamby New Age approach is ineffectual in removing negative energy from the likes of Pelosi.

When the apostles asked Jesus why they weren`t able to cast a demon out of a child he responded:

“Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.”

Pelosi`s heart is as shriveled as her leather-like wrinkled skin, and to remove negative energy from her requires an old school Opus Dei exorcist who will dunk her in holy water and hit her upside the head with a giant crucifix.

Or a fundamentalist Baptist preacher who will pray in tongues and lash her with a whip until she denounces the works of Satan and the orthodoxy of the Democratic Party.

Or, my preference, just lock her in a room with Mr. T for a few minutes, he will punch the hell out of that old witch until she promises never again to utter any jibba jabba tomfoolery.

I`m not a Democrat or a Republican, but I am sick and tired of Pelosi`s constant whining. I`m fasting and praying that Mr. T will take care of business for the good of our democracy.

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Donald Trump Made One of His Own Tweets into a Twitter Header

“President Donald Trump`s Twitter strategy has never been subtle, but his decision Monday to top his header with one of his own tweets was bold even by his standards.

Trump briefly topped @realDonaldTrump with a note he sent at 6:41 p.m. ET after former Director of National Intelligence James Clapper testified before a Senate Judiciary subcommittee hearing and said he was not aware of evidence of collusion between the Trump campaign and Russia.”


I`ve been accused of being a shameless self-promoter, but even I have never considered using one of my own tweets as the header for my Twitter page.

What Donald Trump lacks in intellectual curiosity and intelligence he more than makes up for in chutzpah, he had no reservations about ordering one of his lackeys to Photoshop his tweet denying collusion with Russia into his banner image.

If Trump cares so much about optics, why doesn`t he appoint a staffer to spell-check his tweets before he posts them online?

I implore a white hat hacker to hack Trump`s Twitter feed, and replace his header image with monkeys and clowns.

What a narcissist, I will allow a decent amount of time to transpire before I copy his trick.


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Baby Groot is the Messiah the Galaxy Needs in the Age of Donald Trump

Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol 2 is the No. 1 hit in the galaxy, it`s conquered the box office in America, China, Korea and Russia, in fact it`s taken root all over the world.

The breakout star of this family-friendly blockbuster isn`t the dashing hero Star Lord or the sizzling hot Gamora, but the little tree with the saucer eyes, Baby Groot.

Baby Groot doesn`t have a nose, ears or lips, but he has big expressive eyes, and eyes are the window to the soul. Stare into Baby Groot`s eyes and you will see sugar and spice and everything that`s nice, and more than a touch of adorable mischievousness.

Baby Groot is a hit with the ladies, but when they tell their boyfriends they want to see Guardians of the Galaxy, they don`t have to twist their arms because dudes are just as enthralled by Baby Groot.

Baby Groot is the perfect hero in the age of Donald Trump, his bottomless reservoir of adorableness is the perfect antidote for the corruption, filth and degradation of our president.

I`m not a Pollyanna, I`m a cynical blogger whose stock-in-trade is ridiculing politicians, celebrities and religious con artists. The producers of Galaxy created Baby Groot knowing that he would be a billion dollar merchandising engine.

But they unwittingly created an icon of peace and love that transcends religion, politics and borders, witness his international fan base.

Baby Groot`s vocabulary is limited to three words: I am Groot. But depending on his inflection and tone those three words can mean just about anything. It`s up to each one of us to interpret what Baby Groot is saying, and to me he`s always saying: I am adorable.

I am obsessed with Baby Groot, and that`s not a bad thing. I love Baby Groot waving goodbye. I love Baby Groot dancing. I love Baby Groot having a tantrum! I love Baby Groot. America Loves Baby Groot. The World Loves Baby Groot. The Galaxy loves Baby Groot.

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A Therapy Dog in a Dental Office Is a Wonderful Idea

“Going to the dentist is something many people dread, but one Wichita dental office is trying to make the experience a little easier on patients.

For the past several months, Boynton Family Dental has had a new friendly face to deal with dental anxiety.

`I was surprised at first. I just kind of saw movement behind me and didn`t really know what it was,` said patient Debra Mitchell.

That friendly face is a Bearded Collie named Baron. He knows how to calm a patient`s nerves with just a wag of his tail.”


I`d rather suffer a rectal examination by a proctologist who is high on LSD and thinks there`s a pot of gold inside my a-hole, than visit my dentist. When I was a child I dreaded my yearly dental examination until my parents took me to a dentist who let his patients choose a free toy from a giant bin. That`s not going to work anymore unless my dentist has a bin with iPhones and watches instead of toy cars and dolls.

But having a therapy dog in the dental office is the next best thing; I can tolerate the most sadistic dentist as long as man`s best friend is by my side. When my dentist isn`t torturing me by drilling my teeth, he is driving me nuts by making inane small talk and asking me questions he knows I can`t answer, because I`m forced to keep my mouth open so he can perform his tender ministrations.

I`d rather have a pooch in the dentist office than be administered enough Novocaine to knock out a horse. Dogs in the dental office is a marvelous idea and I hope it catches on, and not just with dental practices that cater mainly to children.

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