Woman Arrested For Xylophone Rage Attack

“According to investigators, Floridian April Encarnacion, 43, was collared earlier this month on a domestic battery charge after police responded to a residence in Fort Walton Beach.

Encarnacion, cops say, was in the kitchen with the male victim, who was playing a xylophone around 9:20 PM. Encarnacion–apparently not enjoying the Friday evening musical performance– asked him to stop, according to a court filing.

When the man refused, Encarnacion dumped a pot of cold cooking grease on him.”

Smoking Gun

When I was a kid I used to drive my parents and sibling nuts banging on my Fisher Price xylophone; I can understand a person going Medieval on an adult playing a xylophone.

Although Encarnacion should be commended for her restraint, I would have boiled the pot of cooking grease before dumping it on the moron playing the musical instrument.

The only one arrested should have been the male victim, any dude who calls in the cops because a woman dumped cold cooking grease on him should turn in his “male card.”

The male “victim,” who wasn`t identified, is going to be greased and abused if he ever ends up in the Big House. What a freaking wimp!

Read More:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/xylophone-rage-case-493216

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Outrage: Centenarian Awarded Gold Medal for Running 100-Meter Sprint in 1 Minute 40 Seconds

“Man Kaur, a 101-year-old Indian woman, racked up her 17th gold medal this week at the World Masters Games in Auckland, New Zealand, completing the 100 metre sprint in one minute 14 seconds.

Truth be told, she was the sole competitor in the race, with no other runners coming forward to take part in the 100-years-and-over category.”

Telegraph

Man Kaur is making a mockery of athletic competition, when you complete a 100-meter sprint in one minute and 14 seconds that`s not a sprint, it`s a leisurely stroll. The only sprint that Kaur should be participating in is a sprint to the bathroom before she soils her diapers.

The centenarian was the sole competitor in the race, her gold medal is nothing more than a glorified participation trophy.

There should be no official athletic competitions for octogenarians, never mind centenarians.

Her supporters (enablers) should be ashamed of themselves, it`s a wonder the old lady didn`t suffer a heart attack.

Enough with this politically-correct tomfoolery in pretending that folks who are older than dirt can still participate in athletic events.

Read More:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/2017/04/25/101-year-old-woman-wins-100-metre-sprint/

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Starbucks’ Unicorn Frappuccino Sign of the End Times

“Starbucks` wildly popular Unicorn Frappuccino may have come and gone, but it lives on atop the head of one Canadian stylist`s satisfied customer.

Kelly Woodford, owner of the Sapphire Hair Lounge in Winnipeg, Canada, shared a short video on Instagram comparing the colors of a Unicorn Frappuccino to the colors she used to dye a customer`s hair.”

UPI

I am contemplating running for mayor of my city for the sole purpose of banning any Starbucks within city limits. Starbucks are a magnet for millennials, slackers and assorted riff-raff, it boggles the mind that they haven`t been targeted by jihadists or spree killers.

I love coffee, and I get my daily fix at a Waffle House, and it`s served by a waitress, not a freaking barista. Any millennial who works as a barista should be drowned in a vat of Unicorn Frappuccino.

The day that Starbucks started offering Unicorn Frappuccino in its dens of iniquity, is the day that I said to myself: The Apocalypse is right around the corner! Now that a hair stylist has used the Unicorn Frappuccino colors to style a customer`s hair, I`m researching bunkers online.

Pic of moron rocking Unicorn Frappuccino hairdo:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/04/25/Stylist-shows-off-hair-inspired-by-Unicorn-Frappuccino/4801493130386/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=16

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Tom Perez Cryptkeeper From Hell an Embarrassment to Democratic Party

When you are a dead ringer for the crypt keeper from “Tales From the Crypt” it behooves you to keep a low profile and speak it measured tones. But Democratic National Committee (DNC) Chairman Tom Perez speaking style is reminiscent of a mental patient who`s not on his meds, even Donald Trump blushes when he hears him rant and rave and toss obscenities like confetti.

Perez, who has been traveling the country on a unity tour meant to unite the Democratic Party after a devastating and humiliating defeat, seems to think that the only way he can unite his demoralized party is by peppering his speeches with profanities. If the Democrats are wise they will unite against this unhinged creepy looking son of a bitch and demand that he step down from his lofty position.

Tom Perez is an embarrassment to the human race, the Hispanic community, the Democratic Party and horror flick villains. If Perez doesn`t curb his tongue, I pray that he will meet the same fate as a horror movie villain.

Even when he doesn`t curse Perez is an abomination, he became the first head of the party to promise to support only Democratic candidate who support abortion.

Fortunately, some Democratic leaders have chastised him for his narrow view, arguing that the Democratic Party is a Big Tent party that can accommodate differing views on abortion.

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Why Do Cats Love Boxes?

“Boxes and cats, what is the deal?

So what powers your kitty`s drive to sit in all things square and cardboard? There`s more scientific reason behind it than you might suspect.

According to The Washington Post, it all goes back to childhood. Kittens seek out the warmth and comfort of their mom`s snuggling embrace and the cuddles provided by their fellow litter mates. This is one of the reasons why swaddling calms a cat down. In these cases, the close contact releases endorphins, giving felines a natural sense of peace and pleasure.”

People Magazine

People Magazine usually chronicles the scandals and antics of brain-dead celebs, thank goodness they are finally covering a worthwhile subject: Cats!

I have owned cats for most of my adult life, when I adopted my first kitty I bought her beds and cat condos, but I quickly learned that she would eschew these expensive items in favor of a box, any box no matter how small.

My cat Tico tips the scale at 25 pounds, and whenever I buy a new pair of shoes he immediately claims the box as his new bed, even though he can barely fit his fat butt in the small box.

So what`s up with cats and their inordinate love of boxes? According to Temple Grandin, Professor of Animal Science, when cats are cozied up within the confines of a box it reminds them when they were kittens and shared close quarters with their mother and litter mates.

My cats never fight over food, but they will fight over a box, that`s why I always make sure to have a couple of boxes in my house. There are some adorable box dwellers waiting to b e adopted at your local animal shelter.

Read More:

http://people.com/pets/heres-why-your-cat-loves-sitting-in-boxes/

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Donald Trump’s Base Remains Loyal

“President Donald Trump is running into political trouble on a variety of fronts, but the overwhelming majority of his core supporters remain loyal to him and give him high approval ratings.

The latest poll conducted by ABC News and the Washington Post finds that, as he approaches his 100th day in office Saturday – a traditional milestone for assessing new presidents – 96 percent of those who supported him in last November`s election say they would do it again today. His approval rating among those who voted for him is 94 percent. This is a positive development for Trump just when he needs it most. It could embolden him to confront his adversaries in Congress on a variety of fronts as a possible government shutdown looms at the end of this week.”

US News & World Report

By any objective standard the Donald Trump administration has been an unmitigated disaster. Trump failed miserably in his signature campaign promise to repeal and replace Obamacare, there is no more talk of Mexico paying for the wall, and not a single major piece of legislation has been implemented. Keep in mind that Republicans control the executive branch and both houses of Congress, if Trump had a modicum of political skill he`d be signing bills left and right in the Oval Office.

You`d think that Trump`s ineptitude and outright failure would have humbled him a little bit, and that he`d be spending time in quiet retrospection, but he`s still ranting and raving on Twitter.

At least you`d think that Trump would redouble his efforts to get some victories under his belt during his first 100 days in office, but he`s spending almost every weekend golfing in his resorts.

A flurry of executive orders is no substitute for seeking bipartisan consensus and getting his policies enacted through the legislative process.

The American public isn`t fooled, as the polls show, we realize that Trump is one of the worst presidents in history. However the overwhelming majority of his supporters remain loyal to him.

During the campaign Trump famously boasted that he could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and shoot somebody and he wouldn`t lose voters. Trump could shoot Nancy Pelosi in the Rose Garden and take a dump on her, and he wouldn`t lose any of his supporters.

Trump doesn`t learn from his mistakes, in fact he doesn`t even acknowledge his mistakes, it`s inevitable that he will continue to make huge blunders. Let`s hope that enough Republicans, who care more about our country than their party, will join Democrats in impeaching him.

The first 100 days of the Trump administration seem like an eternity, our democracy simply can`t survive four years of epic tomfoolery, ineptitude, corruption and buffoonery.

Read More:

https://www.usnews.com/news/ken-walshs-washington/articles/2017-04-24/president-donald-trumps-base-remains-loyal

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Pretentious Professor Sues Wal-Mart!

“A professor at Montana State University is suing Wal-Mart for what they wrote on his fishing license.

An employee allegedly wrote Gilbert Kalonde’s profession as ‘toilet cleaner’ on the license. Kalonde is an assistant professor of technology education at MSU.

According to the complaint, provided by the Bozeman Daily Chronicle, Kalonde showed his MSU ID for the license to show that he worked in the university. The Wal-Mart employee then wrote ‘cleans toilets’ on the license.

Kalonde is suing for libel, saying what happened exposed him to ‘hatred, contempt, ridicule or obloquy.’ The suit said, ‘In [Kalonde’s] home country of Zambia, the people that do this work are the lowest social class, and are shunned and avoided by society.'”

AOL

Not to put too fine a point on it but the professor is an oxygen thief, anybody who uses an obscure word like “obloquy” is by definition a pretentious piece of crap.

In Zambia people who clean toilets may be shunned and avoided by society, but in America janitors probably make more than assistant professors.

In America decent people will shun the professor, not because they think he’s a toilet cleaner — we just tend to shun self-important pricks who use a ten-dollar word when a simple word will suffice.

Kalonde’s trivial and ridiculous lawsuit is exposing his employer and him to ridicule. Hey moron, are you going to sue me next?

Donald Trump’s Terrific ‘Earth Day’ Statement

“Rigorous science is critical to my administration`s efforts to achieve the twin goals of economic growth and environmental protection.

My administration is committed to advancing scientific research that leads to a better understanding of our environment and of environmental risks. As we do so, we should remember that rigorous science depends not on ideology, but on a spirit of honest inquiry and robust debate.

This April 22nd, as we observe Earth Day, I hope that our nation can come together to give thanks for the land we all love and call home.”

Donald Trump`s exemplary Earth Day statement

Economic growth and environmental protection must always go hand in hand; we can`t allow climate change cultists to grind our nation`s powerful economic engine to a screeching halt.

The Trump administration is committed to advancing scientific research that leads to cleaner air and fresher water, but to their credit they haven`t swallowed the climate change hoax.

Rigorous science depends not on ideology or political-correctness, but on empirical evidence.

An intelligent rational individual can be environmentally-minded and be against the religion of global warming.

I applaud Trump for his terrific Earth Day comments, but he should keep true to his campaign promise and withdraw the United States from the 2015 Paris Climate Accord.

Happy Earth Day President Trump, you are wrong most of the time, but I applaud you when you are right, and boy are you right about climate change.

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Dozens of Shrinks Claim Donald Trump Has Dangerous Mental Illness

“Amid backlash, a group of psychiatrists claimed on Thursday at a conference at Yale University that President Donald Trump has a `dangerous mental illness` and is not fit to be president of the United States.

According to The Independent, over thirty mental health experts, all of whom have never personally examined President Trump, say they have an `ethical responsibility to warn the public about Donald Trump`s dangerous mental illness.`”

AOL

According to the American Psychiatric Association no mental health professional should attempt to diagnose or give professional opinions on a person without having examined them. But these shrinks shouldn`t be criticized, their ethical duty to warn the public about Trump`s madness supersedes any bylaws of the American Psychiatric Association.

I`m not a psychiatrist or a psychologist, and I don`t play one on TV or in my bedroom, but my clinical diagnosis is that Donald Trump is stark raving bonkers. All any rational person has to do is watch the Orange Menace on TV for a couple of minutes, and they will arrive at the same conclusion.

My essays will have zero impression on mental health professionals, but they will influence my friends in the real world and online. We must all do our due diligence, and warn everyone that Trump is freaking nuts.

We elected Trump Leader of the Free World, so it`s incumbent upon us to make restitution by sounding the alarm. We must demonstrate to the world that although our leader may be nuts, we aren`t.

There`s an online petition calling for mental health professionals to “declare Trump is mentally ill and must be removed.” The change.org petition currently has over 8,000 signatures.

People get with the damn program: Sign the Petition! Write your congressperson and senator demanding that they impeach the lunatic!

Read More:
https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/04/21/dozens-of-psychiatry-experts-claim-trump-has-dangerous-mental-i/22049682/

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Bruce Jenner (Caitlyn Jenner) Distancing Himself From Donald Trump

“Caitlyn Jenner voted for President Donald Trump, but the former Olympian and reality TV star says she`s dedicated to her community and not to the current POTUS.

`Here`s the deal: yes, I have always had views that lean more towards the Republican party when it comes to politics (as in) less government, believing in the Constitution and all that kind of stuff,` Jenner told People magazine. `But my loyalties and my fights are not going to be with the Republican party. My loyalties are with my community and fighting for my community.`

`My loyalties lie with my community and not with the Republican party, and not with Donald Trump,` the self-described conservative added.”

Huffington Post

I will refer to the freak known as “Caitlyn Jenner” by his real name: Bruce Jenner. Jenner is a publicity whore who will do anything for attention, transitioning from male to female was just a way of eclipsing Kim Kardashian, Kris Jenner, Kanye West and all the other deplorable freaks in his family.

In “Keeping up with the Kardashians” Kris treated Bruce like crap, she totally emasculated him. How ironic that Bruce felt that the only way he could reclaim his manhood was by becoming a woman. Bruce, you`re still a bitch.

I will not enable Jenner`s psychiatric condition, that`s what gender dysphoria is, by using female pronouns.

Bruce claims that his loyalties are with his community, but the freak has nothing in common with transsexuals. Bruce`s only loyalties are to himself and his bank accounts.

It`s a good thing Bruce is distancing himself from Trump, because if the reality show freak (Bruce, not Trump) ever visits the White House, Trump will grab him by the pussy, dick, whatever.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/caitlyn-jenner-donald-trump-republicans_us_58fa08e2e4b00fa7de137cd8

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