Pence May be Dropped From Trump’s 2020 Ticket! Top 9 New Career Choices

If Mike Pence is banished from Donald Trump`s 2020 ticket, here are my top ten new career choices for him:


Just don`t place him too close to a female mannequin, he`ll sweat profusely.


Pence is straight out of central casting for this profession, his trademark furrowed brow is the perfect look when he`s examining your tax returns.


Most of us find him obnoxious, but he exudes a gay vibe that would be right at home in this environment


We can all imagine him admonishing amorous young couples on the dance floor to “leave enough room for the Holy Ghost.”


His brown nose testifies that he`s used to the smell of excrement, he wouldn`t mind picking up after the dogs in his care.


Every movie calls for a nondescript stranger who blends into the background, well Pence is a freaking beige wall.


He`s certainly had plenty of experience fluffing up the orange clown in the White House.


Pence reeks obsequiousness and he would be a natural in this offbeat occupation.


I can just see him looking adoringly at the Anti-Christ as he proclaims that everyone must be branded with “666” on their hands or forehead.

Donald Trump Considering Kicking Mike Pence to the Curb

“On Monday, Trump hosted a 2020 strategy meeting with a group of advisers. Among the topics discussed was whether Mike Pence should remain on the ticket, given the hurricane-force political headwinds Trump will face, as demonstrated by the midterms, a source briefed on the session told me.

Last month, The New York Times reported that Trump had been privately asking advisers if Pence could be trusted, and that outside advisers have been pushing Nikki Haley to replace Pence.”

Vanity Fair

Rudolph the reindeer is defined by his red nose, and Mike Pence the Vice President is defined by his brown nose, he reeks of the essence of Donald Trump.

Pence speaks of Trump in reverent tones, and gazes at him with religious fealty and devotion, leading many to conclude that he`s Trump`s bitch, and incapable of turning against his master.

Pence is Trump`s chief apologist, as soon as the short-fingered vulgarian`s latest incomprehensible and vile tweet is posted online, he can be relied upon to twist its meaning until it sounds like a verse from the Bible.

But Pence`s public obsequiousness is covering his ambition and revulsion of Trump`s crudeness and immorality.

Trump isn`t a real evangelical, he just utters the anti-gay rhetoric and anti-abortion claptrap that is music to the ears of his white evangelical followers. But Pence is the real deal, and he believes that his best chance of becoming president and ushering the kingdom of Christ on Earth is to show outward allegiance to the anti-Christ figure currently in power.

It looks like Trump is finally on to Pence`s machinations, and I hope that he kicks the sanctimonious bastard to the curb.

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Fake Christian Mike Pence Invites Fake Rabbi to Pray for Victims of Synagogue Massacre

“American Jews, in shock over the massacre of 11 people at a Pittsburgh synagogue, voiced outrage Tuesday after Vice President Mike Pence hosted an election event with a so-called `Christian rabbi`.

Pence took part late Monday in a campaign rally for Lena Epstein, a Jewish Republican running for the House of Representatives, in suburban Detroit, Michigan.

At the rally Loren Jacobs, who uses the title “rabbi” but espouses Christianity, was invited to speak on behalf of the area`s Jewish community.

Instead of opening up with prayers for the 11 Jews shot dead Saturday at the Tree of Life synagogue, Jacobs praised Jesus Christ and then offered prayers for four Republican candidates.”

Yahoo News

A “Christian Rabbi” is an oxymoron, kind of like an “Evangelical Christian.” American Jews were already in shock over the massacre of 11 people at a Pittsburgh synagogue, and Pence added insult to injury by asking a faux rabbi to pray for the victims at the end of the rally.

Pence referred to Loren Jacobs as a “leader of the Jewish community here in Michigan,” that`s akin to referring to Nation of Islam Minister Louis Farrakhan as a leader of the Islamic community in Chicago.

Jacobs is an apostate who is masquerading as a “Christian rabbi, he`s anathema to Jews.

Messianic Jews, such as Jacobs, primary focus is the conversion of Jews to Christianity. That is simply repugnant and offensive to Jews, he would be as welcome in a synagogue as a Jihadist imam would be at an evangelical church.

Pence and his white evangelical brethren have tarnished the Christian faith by wholeheartedly embracing a short-fingered vulgarian who makes a mockery of the teachings of Jesus Christ.

Not content with destroying the evangelical branch of Christianity, Pence is now sowing discord in the Jewish community.

There is a special place reserved in hell for the likes of Mike Pence and Loren Jacobs.

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Karen Pence Refused to Kiss Mike Pence After Trump Won the Election

“Karen Pence, the wife of Vice President Mike Pence, spurned her husband and wouldn`t even say hello to President Trump on Election Day 2016 when it became clear Trump won the White House, a new book about the campaign says.

After Pennsylvania was called for Trump giving him the win, Pence moved to kiss his wife, and she turned away.

`You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone,` she said, Michael Lewis writes in his book, `The Fifth Risk,` according to an excerpt published in The Guardian on Thursday.”

The New York Post

Karen Pence, hereafter referred to by her pet name “Mother,” is an evangelical Christian who reportedly was disgusted by Trump`s misogynist comments on the “Access Hollywood” tape. Like any evangelical Christian who hasn`t become inebriated on Kool-Aid she finds the president reprehensible.

As the wife of a veteran politician Mother knows that politics makes strange bedfellows, and she wouldn`t be too surprised if she caught her hubby in bed with a 20-something Bernie Sanders bro.

But when Pence agreed to become Trump`s running mate she must have been sick to her stomach. The Bible warns about being unequally yoked with unbelievers, and she must have imagined that the unholy union between her spouse and Trump sealed their damnation.

On election night when it became clear that Trump won the White House, Pence attempted to give Mother a celebratory kiss, but she rudely rebuffed him, saying “You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone.”

I doubt that Mike has received anything more than a peck on the cheek from Mother the last two years, and she`s probably permanently shuttered her back door, depriving him of the back door action that he craves.

If Mike doesn`t succeed Trump after impeachment or after the end of his term, I`m betting Mother will swiftly divorce him.

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Mike Pence Evangelical From Hell Will Turn America into a Theocracy

When Indiana Gov. Mike Pence accepted the Republican vice presidential nomination, he declared:

“I`m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”

Since then he has repeated this refrain in interviews and speeches, he has warned us what kind of a president he will be, in the not unlikely event he succeeds Donald Trump prior to 2020.

Most Americans identify as “Christian,” but very few fit Pence`s definition of a Christian. Pence is an evangelical Christian, who doesn`t believe in evolution, women`s rights, human rights or science.

A person can be defined by what he hates: Martin Luther King, Jr hated racial discrimination and social injustice, Mother Teresa hated poverty and human suffering, and Pence hates gays and lesbians, science and educated women.

If Pence becomes president that doesn`t mean that his brand of Christianity will compel him to fight poverty, and seek racial harmony, his interpretation of Christianity will drive him to disenfranchise gays and lesbians, and turn back the clock on women`s rights.

Pence`s faith can`t abide abortion or homosexuality, but it will turn a blind eye to a corrupt and moral degenerate president as long as he continues to appoint far-right judges to the Supreme Court.

Pence is a Christian and a conservative, but he`s not a John McCain type conservative who believes in bipartisanship, and putting the good of the country above party. He`s a Freedom Caucus, Tea Party type conservative, who is willing to let the country go to hell in a handbasket for the sake of ideological purity.

Lastly, Pence is a Republican because that`s the only major party that welcomes Pharisees and scantimonious jerks.

Pence is Vice President because of the support of Paul Manafort, and he`s as complicit as Trump in the Russian collusion scandal, and we must impeach Trump and Pence.

My worst nightmare is Mike Pence being sworn in as president after Trump`s impeachment and declaring: I`m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order

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Mike Pence Didn’t Write the Anonymous New York Times Editorial

In Broadway an understudy is an actor who learns anothers role in order to be able to act as a replacement at short notice.

“Break a leg” is an idiom in theatre used to wish a performer “good luck” in an ironic way, but when an understudy tells the star to “break a leg,” he`s probably as serious as a heart attack.

Vice President John Nance Garner`s famously opined that the office of the Vice President “is not worth a bucket of warm piss.” True enough, but the second in command has two important duties prescribed by the Constitution: to break tie votes in the Senate and to succeed presidents who can`t finish a term in office.

The Vice President is the understudy in the White House, he stands by ready to succeed a president who can`t finish his term in office due to mental or physical incapacitation or impeachment.

My guess is that the two phrases that Mike Pence uses the most often are: “Sir, you look fabulous today” and “break a leg.”

When Pence looks adoringly at Trump when he`s delivering a speech, he`s thinking: Dear God, when will this fuc*ing moron finally do something so outlandish and illegal that Republicans will join Democrats in seeking to impeach him?

Some pundits believe that Pence is the author of the anonymous New York Times` anti-Donald Trump op-ed, which the paper attributed to “a senior official in the Trump administration.” This conspiracy theory is based solely on the fact that the anonymous writer used the arcane word “lodestar,” Pence`s favorite word, after “mother.”

Pence didn`t write the damn editorial, he`s keeping a low profile until he takes over after Trump is impeached. Pence is too busy kissing Trump`s ass to have the time to write an anti-Trump essay.

I hope the real writer puts on his big girl panties, and publicly condemns Donald Trump.

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Does Mike Pence Resemble a Ken Doll or a Bobblehead Doll?

Vice President Mike Pence doesn`t strike me as a regular guy you could bond with over a couple of beers. In fact, he bears little resemblance to a human being, he has the air of a clone or a robot about him.

If you`re christening your baby, and you want to impress upon your friends that you`re not a total heathen, Mike Pence is the type of guy that you would invite, his sanctimonious look is tailor-made for such religious rituals.

Pence resembles a clone, a robot or a doll. Physically he is a dead ringer for that gay icon, the Ken Doll. The top Urban Dictionary definition for Ken Doll is: A male, overly attractive or primped, superficial, possibly straight, gay, bi or metrosexual.

Mike Pence, with his precision-cut hairstyle, looks like a receptionist at a gay bathhouse. Pence probably prays to Jesus every night that He would make him as penis-less as Ken so he wouldn`t be attracted to men.

Pence also resembles a bobblehead doll, when he stands behind the Stable Genius, rotely nodding at the nonsense emanating from his sphincter-shaped mouth.

It`s one thing to nod in agreement when an eloquent statesman the likes of Barack Obama is speaking, but when you nod in agreement when a buffoon is pontificating you look like a freaking idiot.

If Trump, who resembles a Chucky Doll or a Cabbage Patch Kid is impeached, we will be stuck with the Ken Doll from the pit of hell.

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Top Ten List of Secret Service Code Names for Mike Pence

The Secret Service uses code names for the President, Vice President and First Lady, here`s my Top Ten list of code names for Mike Pence:




(An allusion to Mike`s pet name for his spouse.)








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What Do You Think Mike Pence Does With All His Free Time?

John Nance Garner the 32nd Vice President of the United States, famously opined that the office of the vice presidency isn`t worth a bucket of warm piss.

This is especially true in the case of Mike Pence, his boss goes apoplectic if any of his underlings steals the spotlight. Pence is usually seen in public only when Trump wants him to stand by his side and gaze adorningly at him when he makes a major announcement.

Pence certainly has the time to screw Mother seven ways from Sunday every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would bet my Bible that the only sex he has it with Trump, facilitated with a jar of Vaseline.

The white evangelical scum could corral the Cabinet members into a daily Bible study, but I bet even they are tired of the self-righteous prude. Most likely he has Bible study with the mice who have grown fat and too lazy to run way from Pence, eating the cheese puffs that Trump drops all over the White House.

The evangelical zealot could be spending all his free time plagiarizing the Book of Solomon to write love sonnets for Mother.

The hot pile of evangelical crap is probably making a list of all the fellow white evangelicals he will appoint to his administration once Trump is impeached and gets to sit in the Big Chair.

I really don`t give a flying fig what Pence does with all his free time, I only wish I could tell you what I would do to him if I could spend one minute alone with him in his prayer closet.

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Karen Pence Wears Slutty Dress Even Nicky Minaj Would be Embarrassed to Wear

“Second-lady Karen Pence is getting dragged for wearing a mall-bought dress that was too short and tight while meeting the King and Queen of Jordan this week.

To receive King Abdullah II bin Al-Hussein and Queen Rania on Monday, Karen, the wife of VP Mike Pence, wore a pink-and-black dress with a halter-and-tank style top, and pink, strappy shoes.”


Mike and Karen Pence are devout evangelical Christians, and they are circumspect in speech, demeanor and dress, in other words they are so ramrod straight that it would take pliers to remove the sticks from their arseholes.

Karen, 61, known as Mother to her hubby and close friends, wore a slutty dress while meeting with the King and Queen of Jordan that even Nicky Minaj would have second thoughts about wearing.

Mother`s belt was only an inch below her ample bosom, old men are known to hike up their pants up to their chests, but I`ve never seen an old hag favor such a look.

What a shameless hussy, I doubt she would don such a ratchet ensemble if she was meeting the Pope or Jerry Falwell Jr instead of Muslim royalty.

Mother must have got her hubby all hot and bothered by wearing such a scandalous dress in public, I bet he gave her the Mother of all holy poundings that night.

I never thought in a million years that I would be slut-shaming Karen Pence of all people, but girlfriend gave me a Mother of a sexual migraine.

I apologize if my essay induced anyone to vomit or to get shit-faced drunk.

Link to pic of slutty dress:

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