What Do You Think Mike Pence Does With All His Free Time?

John Nance Garner the 32nd Vice President of the United States, famously opined that the office of the vice presidency isn`t worth a bucket of warm piss.

This is especially true in the case of Mike Pence, his boss goes apoplectic if any of his underlings steals the spotlight. Pence is usually seen in public only when Trump wants him to stand by his side and gaze adorningly at him when he makes a major announcement.

Pence certainly has the time to screw Mother seven ways from Sunday every day of the week and twice on Sunday, but I would bet my Bible that the only sex he has it with Trump, facilitated with a jar of Vaseline.

The white evangelical scum could corral the Cabinet members into a daily Bible study, but I bet even they are tired of the self-righteous prude. Most likely he has Bible study with the mice who have grown fat and too lazy to run way from Pence, eating the cheese puffs that Trump drops all over the White House.

The evangelical zealot could be spending all his free time plagiarizing the Book of Solomon to write love sonnets for Mother.

The hot pile of evangelical crap is probably making a list of all the fellow white evangelicals he will appoint to his administration once Trump is impeached and gets to sit in the Big Chair.

I really don`t give a flying fig what Pence does with all his free time, I only wish I could tell you what I would do to him if I could spend one minute alone with him in his prayer closet.

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Karen Pence Wears Slutty Dress Even Nicky Minaj Would be Embarrassed to Wear

“Second-lady Karen Pence is getting dragged for wearing a mall-bought dress that was too short and tight while meeting the King and Queen of Jordan this week.

To receive King Abdullah II bin Al-Hussein and Queen Rania on Monday, Karen, the wife of VP Mike Pence, wore a pink-and-black dress with a halter-and-tank style top, and pink, strappy shoes.”

AOL

Mike and Karen Pence are devout evangelical Christians, and they are circumspect in speech, demeanor and dress, in other words they are so ramrod straight that it would take pliers to remove the sticks from their arseholes.

Karen, 61, known as Mother to her hubby and close friends, wore a slutty dress while meeting with the King and Queen of Jordan that even Nicky Minaj would have second thoughts about wearing.

Mother`s belt was only an inch below her ample bosom, old men are known to hike up their pants up to their chests, but I`ve never seen an old hag favor such a look.

What a shameless hussy, I doubt she would don such a ratchet ensemble if she was meeting the Pope or Jerry Falwell Jr instead of Muslim royalty.

Mother must have got her hubby all hot and bothered by wearing such a scandalous dress in public, I bet he gave her the Mother of all holy poundings that night.

I never thought in a million years that I would be slut-shaming Karen Pence of all people, but girlfriend gave me a Mother of a sexual migraine.

I apologize if my essay induced anyone to vomit or to get shit-faced drunk.

Link to pic of slutty dress:

https://www.aol.com/article/lifestyle/2018/06/27/second-lady-karen-pence-is-getting-dragged-for-wearing-an-inappropriate-dress/23469625/

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Who Is More Reprehensible Donald Trump or Mike Pence?

“Conservatives in and out of Washington were alarmed by President Trump`s joint press conference with Russian President Vladimir Putin on Monday, where the American leader refused to affirm the conclusions of U.S. intelligence agencies that Putin`s Russia meddled in the 2016 presidential election.

`But where some national security experts saw a president who appears to be `wholly in the pocket of Putin,` Vice President Mike Pence saw quite the opposite. `What the world saw, what the American people saw, is that President Donald Trump will always put the prosperity and security of America first,` Pence said, per NBC News` Peter Alexander.”

The Week

What most Americans witnessed in Helsinki was the most obsequious and treasonous display by an American president on the world stage. Even Trump`s most delusional supporters spoke out in outrage against his betrayal of our democracy.

Trump behaved like a fanboy invited on stage to meet Harry Styles, your guess is as good as mine why the Orange Buffoon walked bowlegged off the stage.

Mike Pence declared “What the world saw, what the American people saw, is that President Donald Trump will always put the prosperity and security of America first.”

Pence`s statement would be correct only if he substituted the word “America” with “Russia.”

Never mind alternative facts, Pence is living in an alternative reality. Pence has his head so far up Trump`s ass, and Trump has his head so far up Putin`s ass that you can smell these arseholes from a mile away.

Pence`s incredible statement only proves that we must get rid of Trump and Pence by any means necessary.

Read More:

http://theweek.com/speedreads/785121/mike-pence-lauds-trumpputin-presser-trump-always-prosperity-security-america-first

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Mike Pence Has Two Default Expressions: Smarmy Piety and Obsequious Adoration

There`s only one politician that I despise more than President Donald Trump, and that`s his Vice President Mike Pence.

Trump is full of piss and vinegar, and doesn`t pretend to be a paragon of virtue, quite the opposite he revels in his vulgar nature.

Pence on the other hand is a typical white evangelical, which means he is a phony to the core of his being. He avoids even the appearance of evil, and won`t dine or be alone with a woman lest anyone think he might be poking her in her back door.

Pence has two default expressions: smarmy piety and obsequious adoration.

Pence dons the smarmy piety look in his day to day activities, but it`s magnified when he`s doing something religious like participating in the White House Bible study or praying. I`ve sometimes been accusing of having a look of piety, but truth be told it just means I`m constipated.

Pens wears his look of obsequious adoration whenever he`s in the same room with Trump, and it`s ramped up when his boss is giving a speech.

My God how I would love to pimp slap those facial expressions from Pence. Just a fantasy, Im not advocating violence against reprehensible Trumpsters.

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Mike Pence is an Abomination and an Affront to the Almighty

You don`t have to be a political science major, a historian or a particularly insightful individual to deduce that Donald Trump is a vulgar ignoramus who is an unqualified disaster as President of the United States.

Every day Trump perpetuates another outrage against the Constitution, common decency, and the rule of law. While white evangelicals pray that God will bless their Messiah, true Christians are praying that the Almighty will smite the Antichrist.

Mike Pence is the Vice President in no large part due to the recommendation of Paul Manafort, one of the slimiest political insiders in history.

Pence has been at the epicenter of the rise of Donald Trump to the White House almost from the start. The evangelical zealot was active in the Republican National Convention, where he was nominated, through the election campaign and let`s not forget that he was head of the transition, after Trump kicked Chris Christie to the curb. And of course he has been an eyewitness to all of the chaos and corruption of the past sixteen months of the Trump administration.

If anyone is aware of the moral depravity of the Trump administration, it`s Mr. Born Again, Mike Pence. Even though Trump`s behavior is antithetical to the teachings of Jesus Christ, you won`t find a more loyal supporter than Pence.

Pence is biding his time, hoping that when Trump leaves office, that he will be able to scrub off the filth, and run for president.

But even if he is successful, I have one question for the self-righteous creep: For what shall it profit a man, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul?

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Mike Pence Claims Religion Is Gaining Ground! Wrong It’s Losing Ground Because of Hypocrites Like Him

“Speaking at a commencement ceremony at Hillsdale College in Michigan, Vice President Mike Pence told the graduates that religion in the United States is going strong.

`The percentage of Americans who live out their religion on a weekly basis – praying, going to church, reading and believing in the Bible – has remained remarkably consistent over the decades, even as the population of the United States has grown by leaps and bounds,` Pence said during his May 12 speech. `I mean, think about it, today, relative to the population, four times as many Americans go to church on a regular basis than at the time of our nation`s founding. Religion in America isn`t receding. It`s just the opposite. Faith is gaining new life across America every day.`”

Politifact

Mike Pence is an evangelical zealot, he constantly invokes his faith in his private conversations and in his speeches. If Pence was a private citizen, it would be perfectly acceptable if he referenced only Christianity when speaking of religion in general at a commencement ceremony.

But Pence isn`t a private citizen, he`s the Vice President of a religiously diverse democracy, and he shouldn`t talk only of “people going to church, and reading and believing in the Bible.” He should also have mentioned the people of faith who attend mosques and temples.

Pence declared that religion in America isn`t receding, and that faith is gaining new life across America. This is a patently false statement, Americans are growing disillusioned with religion, in no small part, because of hypocrites like Pence who claim to be Christians but support legislation that is antithetical to the teachings of Jesus Christ.

A growing number of Americans don`t have any religious affiliation, Millennials in particular have rejected the moribund religions of their parents.

Pence has done irreparable harm to the evangelical brand, by embracing Trump who resembles the Antichrist more than Jesus Christ.

Thanks to Pence and his ilk, faith is general, and evangelical Christianity in particular is losing ground in America every day.

Read More:

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2018/may/16/mike-pence/mike-pence-right-religion-gaining-new-life-us/

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Jim Carrey Taunts ‘Psycho’ Mike Pence

“Actor Jim Carrey shared his latest politically motivated piece of artwork on Friday, this time the Hollywood star`s portrait taking aim at Vice President Mike Pence.

The drawing appears to show Pence dressed in a robe, watching over a fly positioned on his right hand.

`I hope they are watching … They`ll see,` reads the text accompanying text. `They`ll see and they`ll know, and they`ll say, `Why Mike Pence wouldn`t even harm a fly … `”

Breitbart

The quote is from the Alfred Hitchcock classic “Psycho,” a not so subtle hint that our Vice President is a dangerous psycho.

Norman Bates victims were guests of the infamous Bates Motel, but Pence`s victims is the entire population of the United States, especially if he succeeds Trump.

Bates` relationship with his dead mother is the stuff that nightmares are made of, and Pence`s relationship with his wife whom he calls “Mother” is the stuff that gives normal Americans the heebie-jeebies.

Carrey`s artwork is in black and white with the exception of Pence`s piercing green eyes, the eyes of a zealot. Pence is a well-known evangelical zealot, on a mission from God to persecute gays and lesbians, and oppress the poor and disenfranchised.

But when it comes to Psycho Mike Pence politics trumps religion, and he is a political zealot who will debase and humiliate himself in an effort to please his Messiah, Donald Trump.

I hope and pray that Robert Mueller`s investigation will culminate with the impeachment of Trump and Pence. We must not make the mistake of breathing a sigh of relief if Trump is impeached or forced to resign, if Psycho Pence is still in the picture.

Pic of Carrey masterpiece:

http://www.breitbart.com/big-hollywood/2018/05/11/jim-carrey-art-targets-psycho-mike-pence/

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Mike Pence and Donald Trump: Locked Together in Sexual/Political Embrace

“WHEN VICE PRESIDENT Mike Pence appeared at an event in Arizona the other day and lauded former sheriff Joe Arpaio as a `tireless champion of the rule of law`, his comment wasn`t just a risible fiction about a man who made racial profiling his political calling card, thumbed his nose at a federal judge`s order and was convicted of criminal contempt of court. In kowtowing to Mr. Arpaio, a hero to alt-right racists, the vice president also announced his own contempt for principles higher than reflexive genuflection to anything and anyone favored by President Trump.

The Washington Post

Vice President Mike Pence is known as a bedrock religious conservative, and as an unapologetic supporter of the short-fingered vulgarian, Donald Trump.

Pence is anal-retentive about avoiding the appearance of evil, he famously refuses to be alone with any woman other than his wife.

You`d think that Pence would have refused to be unequally yoked together with an unbeliever, and turned down the chance to be Vice President.

But not only did Pence accept Trump`s offer to be Vice President, but Pence the religious prude and Trump the brazen hedonist are thicker than thieves.

Whenever Pence`s religious convictions and Trump`s unchristian behavior are in conflict, he sides with the devil.

Trump pardoned Arpaio after he was convicted of criminal contempt for ignoring a federal judge`s order to halt his office`s systematic racial profiling patrols.

So it`s not surprising that Pence lauded the ex-convict racist Sheriff as a tireless champion of the rule of law. In the Trump administration black is white, good is bad, and if you want to remain in the president`s good races you`d better not publicly contradict him.

If Pence is convicted of any Russian scandal related crime, he will likely be pardoned by Trump, but I doubt Jesus will pardon Pence for his many sins: Relentless persecution of gays and lesbians, support of policies that hurt the poor and minorities, and his embrace of the antichrist himself, Donald Trump.

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Does Jesus Speak to Mike Pence?

“Buried under an avalanche of breaking news this month, Vice President Mike Pence gave an impassioned defense of religion.

`The overwhelming majority of Americans enjoy their faith, and we have all different kinds of faith in this country,` Pence said during an event broadcast on C-Span. `My Christianity is the most important thing in my life. I try and start every day by opening the good book. My wife and I try to have a prayer together before I leave every morning. I can honestly tell you my faith sustains me in all that I do.`

He was responding to a question about a joke comedian Joy Behar cracked during an episode of The View on ABC in which she compared Christianity to a mental illness.

`It`s one thing to talk to Jesus,` Behar said on the popular daytime talk show. `It`s another when Jesus talks to you.`”

Charlotte Observer

All Christians talk to Jesus, but only charlatan televangelists and mentally unbalanced believers claim that He literally answers them.

Sane evangelicals will say words to the effect of: I went to Jesus in prayer and I believe He is leading me to take this action.

But when a pious Christian declares “I asked the Lord if I should vote for Donald Trump, and Jesus not only ordered me to vote for him, but he also commanded me to wear a MAGA hat every day,” WATCH OUT! That wasn`t Jesus speaking to him, the wanker is misinterpreting the fart emanating from his arse for the word of God.

Folks who claim that Jesus speaks to them in an audible voice are sanctimonious morons of the worst kind.

I`m not a theologian or clairvoyant, but I know damn well that Jesus does not speak to Mike Pence. If Jesus ever speaks to Pence it will be to rebuke him for enabling and making excuses for the short-fingered vulgarian.

We need less holier-than-thou Christians declaring “Jesus spoke to me,” and more humble believers saying “I`m feeding the poor, and visiting prisoners in jail just like Jesus instructed me in the Gospels.”

Read more here: http://www.charlotteobserver.com/opinion/editorials/article201882049.html#storylink=cpy

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Awkward: Donald Trump Massages Mike Pence’s Thigh During Billy Graham Memorial Service

“During a memorial service for the late Reverend Billy Graham in the Capitol Rotunda on Wednesday, President Trump, in a rare display of public affection, reached over his wife Melania to place a firm, but gentle hand on Mike Pence`s thigh. Pence looked as comfortable with the president`s touch as you`d imagine, his mouth squeezed tightly shut, his hands gripping the hem of his suit jacket.

Was it a gesture of reassurance? A warning? We may never know. I would like to know how Karen felt about it, though.”

The Cut

I`m not surprised that Trump reached over his wife Melania and placed his tiny hand on Pence`s upper thigh, he knows darn well that if he had placed his hand anywhere on Melania`s body, she would have swatted the disgusting little thing.

Pence is a devout evangelical and perhaps Trump was only trying to console his Vice President on the death of the evangelical icon, or maybe he was just screwing with him. But one thing is sure: Those were the longest moments in the life of the noted homophobe.

After the memorial service Pence probably retreated to his prayer closet and uttered this prayer:

Lord I can resist an ugly orange baboon when he touches my thigh, but please don`t let Jared Kushner caress my thigh lest I become a sodomite.

Read More:

https://www.thecut.com/2018/02/donald-trump-touches-mike-pences-thigh-billy-graham-memorial.html

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