Donald Trump Will Never Replace Bobble-Head Doll Mike Pence With Nikki Haley

“President Donald Trump said Sunday he was very happy with Vice President Mike Penceand planned to keep him as his running mate in the 2020 election.”

AOL
Trump judges the worthiness of a person solely on his loyalty to him, and Pence is the perfect second-in-command, he’s loyal, deferential and obsequious.

Whenever Trump makes an important announcement, Pence is placed behind him to serve as a bobble-head doll. The VP bobs his head up and down as he stares adoringly at his better half.

A bobble-head doll’s head is oversized compared to its body, but its huge head doesn’t indicate the presence of a big brain, indeed a bobble-head doll is synonymous with a blockhead idiot.

In political circles Pence may be referred to as a bobble-head doll, but everyday folks are more likely to use the street vernacular, chicken-head. According to the Urban Dictionary, a chicken-head is a woman who likes giving head, bopping up and down like a chicken.

Any way you slice it, Pence is Trump’s bitch, and just like a chicken-head will never get a sore neck from servicing her man, the VP will never tire of nodding his fool head of regardless what obscenity or absurdity emanates from the president’s sphincter-shaped mouth.

Pence doesn’t have to worry about Trump replacing him with Nikki Haley or anyone else, at least as long as he’s never cured from bobble-head doll syndrome.

Even Disgraced Cyclist Lance Armstrong Can’t Stand Mike Pence

Disgraced cyclist Lance Armstrong disappeared from the national consciousness after he was stripped of all his achievements in 2021, including his seven Tour de France victories.

But the 47-year-old Texan still rides his bicycle for fun, and he occasionally tweets. Yesterday he tweeted:

“I can’t drop many people on a bike these days but I just blew the fuckin’ doors off Mike Pence on a Nantucket bike path. Day. Made.”

Armstrong had a testicle surgically removed in 1996 due to testicular cancer, but he still has more balls than Pence. You will never hear the vice president offer even mild rebuke to the most corrupt, racist and willfully ignorant president in history.

The retired athlete may be thoroughly disgraced, but at least he recognizes that Trump and his lackey Pence are deserving of ridicule and criticism.

Armstrong may very well have been telling the truth, because Pence was in Nantucket on Saturday for a fundraiser for the Republican National Committee.

I hope I never run into Pence on a bike path, I might be tempted to crash into him on purpose.

Mike Pence is an Evangelical Christian, and That’s Real Scary

“I’m a Christian, a conservative, and a Republican, in that order.”
Mike Pence


Vice President Mike Pence is an evangelical Christian. This shouldn’t be perceived as a badge of honor, but as a warning to anyone, in this pluralistic democracy, who isn’t a white Christian male. Pence sharpens his dogma into a spear, and brandishes it to strike fear in the hearts of unbelievers. He loves only those who look like him, think like him and hate like him. If the swarthy bearded Jesus of the Gospels walked into Pence’s church, he would instruct one of the ushers to kick him to the curb.

Pence is a Christian first and foremost and he will align himself politically with anyone who will advance his religious agenda. That’s why he had no qualms about becoming the running mate of a life-long Democrat who ran as a Republican only because his racist rhetoric would only be tolerated in the GOP. As long as Donald Trump remains faithful to the evangelical anti-abortion, anti-gay and anti-women’s rights program, Pence will remain his steadfast defender and supporter.

Pence reverently nods along with whatever insane racist, profane or even blasphemous remark escapes from Trump’s sphincter-like mouth. Every politician wishes he had a bobble head mannequin that always agreed with him. Whenever Trump dehumanizes immigrants of color, mocks the physical appearance of women or insults a war hero, there’s Pence nodding by his side, in essence giving his blessing to his boss’s evil words and actions.

Pence is a Christian, a white evangelical Christian, and there are millions just like him who secretly wish America was a theocracy, and the leader of their theocracy would be a tyrant who would make Donald Trump look like Mahatma Gandhi.

Mike Pence Should Spend Less Time on His Knees and More Time Helping the Needy

“Mr. Pence said that as a politician he faces a lot of attacks, and had several pieces of advice.
‘No. 1 is, spend more time on your knees than on the Internet,’ he said.”


The Washington Times


Vice President Mike Pence faces a lot of criticism, not simply in his capacity as an officeholder, but because he’s a spineless politician who remains silent in the face of his boss’s blatant racism, misogyny and homophobia. If Pence manned up and spoke truth to power he wouldn’t be so universally disliked.

I’m not going to accept advice from such a weak and ineffectual man, therefore I won’t analyze all his several pieces of advice. I will only discuss the prescription he mentioned first:
Spend more time on your knees than on the internet.

No one doubts that Pence spends a lot of time on his knees, the problem is that he spends a lot of time on his knees servicing Trump, instead of seeking divine wisdom.

It’s not a binary choice between being on your knees, whether in prayer to God or in servicing Trump, or being online. Pence would be well-advised to broaden his horizons and spend less time on his knees and more time reading the works of Martin Luther King Jr., volunteering at food kitchens, visiting immigrant communities, and yes going on the internet to preach a message of tolerance, acceptance, unity and love.

Mike Pence Launches ‘Latinos for Trump’ Voting Drive

Mike Pence launched “Latinos for Trump” in Miami on Tuesday, a quixotic effort by the Trump re-election campaign to motivate Latino voters in advance of the 2020 election.

Miami, a stronghold of conservative Cuban-Americans, is one of the few cities where Pence could hold a “Latinos for Trump” event without being laughed out of town.

“I promise you from the first day of this administration, President Trump has been fighting for the values that are really synonymous with Hispanic and Latino immigrants. Hard work, faith, family, freedom, educational choice, and the American way,” he had the audacity to say.

Pence’s lying rhetoric may have resonated with Miami’s middle class Cuban community, but the 1.2 million Puerto Ricans living in the Sunshine State, many who fled from Puerto Rico in the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, surely recognized it as unadulterated BS.

Since the day Trump announced that he was running for president by branding Mexican immigrants as rapists and criminals, he’s been on a mission from God to disenfranchise Hispanic Americans and to demonize Latino immigrants.

Trump separates children from their parents at the border, depriving them of freedom and basic necessities by housing them in concentration camps. How the hell is that synonymous with respecting Latino values of freedom, family and faith?

Latinos suffering under the Trump regime are already motiving to vote in the 2020 election, and we’re going to kick that racist to the curb.

Drag Queens Make Lovely Video for Mike Pence’s Birthday

Gay?

Donald Trump is turning 73 on June 14, and he’s managed to restrain himself from issuing an executive order making his birthday a national holiday. However, he is making a big deal out of his birthday, an email was sent this week to subscribers of the Trump-Pence campaign urging them to sign a birthday card that his lackeys will bestow on him come June 14. Their goal: Two million signatures.

Vice President Mike Pence will turn 60 on June 7, and I know what y’all are thinking: with his constipated smile and his white hair he looks older than Trump. Some kindhearted drag queens are making sure that Pence’s important day isn’t overlooked by releasing a video wishing him a happy birthday by urging people to donate money to LGBTQ organization in the homophobe’s name.

The drag peformers parody Marilyn Monroe’s famous “Happy Birthday, Mr. President” performance to John F. Kennedy by singing the sultry song to Pence.

Many raging homophobes are latent gay men, and it wouldn’t surprise me if Pence bats for the same team as these lovely drag queens.

I bet Pence will play this video every day until he joins the big Broadway chorus line in heaven.

It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Soils Himself on Live TV

“It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Shits Himself. Frankly, I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. We have a president who regularly shows signs of mental decline: He regularly forgets people’s names and places. He makes up words. This much is clear—there will quite likely come a time when our president shits himself, probably on TV, for all to see.”

Splinter/Katherine Krueger

Trump’s mouth looks remarkably like a sphincter, and watching him speak is like watching a porn video for freaks with a sphincter fetish. Nothing but crap flows from his mouth, and whenever I hear him speak I feel like taking a shower afterwards.

But I concur with Krueger that it’s only a matter of time before the stable genius shits himself. Trump is like a ticking bomb full of crap: there will be a detonation and the shit will hit the fan. You don’t have to be a professional gambler to know that the odds are in your favor that the obese septuagenarian who eats crap every day will sooner rather than later shit himself on live TV.

The man-baby probably stains his drawers in private every day. Mike Pence doesn’t just wash his mouth after kissing his boss’s bunghole, I bet he’s tasked with washing the feces stains from the sofas and chairs in the White House.

The short-fingered vulgarian has already besmirched the presidency beyond redemption, and it won’t be much of a shock to anyone when the inevitable happens and he suffers the mother of all wet farts in public.

White evangelicals will claim that the stain in clown’s rear end is the likeness of Jesus, and Nancy Pelosi will hold her nose and insist that it’s still not time to impeach the incontinent demented moron.

In other words, it will just be another day in the Trump White House when the crazy old buffoon soils his diapers.

Read More: https://splinternews.com/it-s-only-a-matter-of-time-before-trump-shits-himself-1835071094

White Evangelicals Like Mike Pence and Jerry Falwell Jr. Betray the Gospel of Jesus Christ

The last time Vice President Mike Pence spoke at Liberty University, he used the backdrop of one of the world’s largest Christian schools to vouch for candidate Donald Trump’s faith credentials during the 2016 campaign.

When Pence returned to the school Saturday to deliver the commencement address, his remarks were more personal.

Pence, who has been facing criticisms of his own religious views recently, warned graduates that they have to stay strong against the challenges they’ll get from Hollywood, the media and the secular left.

‘Throughout most of American history, it’s been pretty easy to call yourself Christian,’ Pence said. ‘It didn’t even occur to people that you might be shunned or ridiculed for defending the teachings of the Bible. But things are different now.’

USA Today

Jerry Falwell Jr., the president of Liberty University, was the first prominent evangelical to endorse the presidential candidacy of Donald Trump.

Ever since Trump and his lackeys have maintained a close relationship with Falwell and his university, so it wasn’t surprising that Vice President Mike Pence made a pilgrimage to the Mecca of White Evangelicalism to deliver the commencement address.

Pence warned the graduating class that they might be ridiculed for defending the teachings of the Bible. Jerry Falwell Jr. and his acolytes have been mocked and castigated by Hollywood, the media, the secular left and true Christians not for defending the teachings of the Bible, but for making a mockery of the teachings of Jesus Christ by supporting and enabling a morally degenerate president.

Pence, who was dubbed, a cheerleader for a porn president, by Mayor Pete is the last person on Earth who should be dispensing spiritual advice to graduates.

WWJD if He was the commencement speaker at Liberty University? He would rail against the university in the same way that he railed against the Pharisees. He would condemn them for turning their backs against poor folks, immigrants, prisoners and other social outcasts. He would condemn them for embracing the spirit of anti-Christ in the person of Donald Trump.

I beseech my readers to be like Jesus and condemn the anti-Christian spirit of Trump, Pence and other reprobated white evangelicals.

Read More: https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2019/05/11/mike-pence-liberty-commencement-speech-prepared-ridiculed/1151252001/

Thank God There’s a Few White Evangelicals Who Distance Themselves From Mike Pence

Jesus Christ didn’t limit his outreach only to the poor, social outcasts and the disenfranchised who would be receptive to his message of love, understanding and redemption.

He also sought out the Pharisees and Sadducees, and berated them for their hypocrisy, self-righteousness and pride.

Vice President Mike Pence, an evangelical Christian, has agreed to be a commencement speaker only at Christian colleges and military academies who he feels would be receptive to his brand of conservative evangelical philosophy.  

But there’s light shining even in the darkest citadels of white evangelicalism, when Taylor University, an evangelical school in rural Indiana, announced that Pence would speak at the commencement ceremony on May 18 hundreds of students immediately protested. Surely Pence thought that a white evangelical university in his home state of Indiana would be a safe place for his religious bigotry.

Alex Hoekstra the author of an online petition asking the university to disinvite Pence wrote:

“Inviting Vice President Pence to Taylor University and giving him a coveted platform for his political views makes our alumni, faculty, staff and current students complicit in the Trump-Pence Administration’s policies, which we believe are not consistent with the Christian ethic of love we hold dear.”

Indeed, any university, college or military academy that invites Pence to speak is complicit with the anti-Christian and anti-democratic views of Donald Trump.

Taylor University should honor Christ, disinvite Pence, and extend an invitation to Mayor Pete, a man who truly embodies the loving and humanitarian spirit of Jesus Christ.

Memo to Mike Pence: Respect Separation Between Church and State

Vice President Mike Pence shared that he and his wife, Karen, are joining “Christians everywhere in remembering the sacrifice made for us on the Cross.”

Pence tweeted from the Book of Isaiah in the Bible, verse 53:5: “He was pierced for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on Him, and by His wounds we are healed.”

“. . .I contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole American people which declared that their legislature should “make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof,” thus building a wall of separation between Church & State.”

Thomas Jefferson

Christianity may be the predominant religion in America, but the United States is a secular democracy and elected officials should refrain from mentioning God, let alone sermonize in their public utterances.

Declaring that Jesus Christ died for our sins is not an inherently offensive message, and I rejoice when ministers proclaim the Good News to their parishioners.

But when Mike Pence preaches the Gospel in an official capacity it is patently offensive to Muslims, Jews, atheists and everyone, including Christians, who believe that there should be a wall of separation between church and state.  

It is especially jarring to hear Pence proselytize for the evangelical faith when he is the chief enabler and supporter of the most godless person to ever sit in the Oval Office.

Whenever I hear Pence act all sanctimonious I say to myself: STFU! You embrace and gaze adoringly at a man who embodies the spirt of the Antichrist.

There is a special place reserved in hell for the likes of Donald Trump and Mike Pence.