Cat With Head Stuck in Jar of Mayo is Rescued

“An outdoor cat with a taste for mayonnaise had to be rescued after getting its head stuck in a Hellman`s jar, said officials of the Hunterdon County sanctuary that managed to corral the kitty and take it to a vet.

A passing motorist spotted the cat, a male thought to be less than a year old, on Friday with its head inside a glass Hellman`s Mayonnaise jar on a farm in Readington Township, said Danielle Rice, director of operations for Tabby`s Place, a cat sanctuary in the Ringoes section of East Amwell. It was freed from the jar, neutered, and set loose back on the farm Sunday.”

NJ.Com

A feline is an innately curious and mischievous creature, and the typical cat is always poking his little head where it doesn`t belong.

An outdoor cat with a yen for mayonnaise (must have been raised by white folks) had to be rescued after getting his head stuck in a Hellman`s jar.

Fortunately, a passing motorist spotted the hapless kitty, and took it to a vet.

The poor thing was freed from the jar, neutered, and set loose back on the farm.

The cat breathed a sigh of relief after it was freed, but shortly thereafter he was cursing God after his balls were snipped off. Talk about “out of the pot and into the frying pan.”

Poor, poor kitty! I hope somebody gives him tuna slathered in mayo.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Two White Women Break the Internet by Eating Mayo out of a Jar

“Concessions at professional sports games can get pricey, so it`s not surprising when fans choose to smuggle in their own snacks.

What was surprising was the snack two Kings fans chose during Monday night`s game: straight-up mayonnaise, apparently.

Captured on TV broadcast as the Kings hosted the Detroit Pistons, two women appear jovial as they take turns eating spoonfuls of what appears to be mayo. The condiment crusader proudly displays the jar, label out, for the camera to see. Then, she offers the jar to her Kings-hat-wearing companion, who tries the stuff with no hesitation, shrugs and then appears to say, `It`s OK.`”

Sacramento Bee

Hot sauce is my favorite condiment, I pour it over my eggs, sandwiches, soups, and just about everything else, and maybe I shouldn`t poke fun at white people`s love of mayo. But ridicule is the coin of the realm online, so here`s my two cents worth:

Mayo is the condiment of choice of white people, they gross out civilized people by ruining perfectly good sandwiches by slathering the semen-like substance all over them.

Mayo is a condiment, it was never intended to be a snack or a meal, but two white women ruined everyone`s appetite by taking turns eating spoonfuls of the nasty stuff out of a jar.

The sadist operating the Jumbotron should be summarily fired, the fans who were there on that fateful night will need therapy for the rest of their lives.

Black folks would never defile a sandwich by smearing it with mayo, and the NBA is about 85% black – weren`t these two white devils aware they were in an NBA arena?

Some folks are trying to justify this abomination by speculating that perhaps it was pudding or ice cream in the mayo jar. I don`t care if the mayo jar was full of delicious ice cream, the sight of anyone eating mayo out of a jar will cause any civilized individual to retch.

The NBA needs to take immediate action and ban these two wicked women, for the rest of their miserable lives, from all NBA arenas.

Link to video: http://www.sacbee.com/sports/nba/sacramento-kings/article206068174.html#storylink=cpy

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes