Adorable Grandpa Records Himself Instead of Marriage Proposal

“Getting engaged can be overwhelming for both the person popping the question and the one getting the ring, which is why many couples ask someone to document the proposal.

For one New Mexico man, that someone was an adorable grandfather he met on a train. And one thing is for sure… the moment was memorable.

The grandfather`s name is John Hart, and he accidentally recorded the whole thing in selfie mode.

That means he only captured his own thrilled reaction to the picturesque proposal.”


It`s axiomatic that old people don`t know Jack about technology, they don`t know a WI-FI hotspot from a burning blister on their butt.

I can`t believe a millennial wanker handed an iPhone to an old codger and asked him to record a marriage proposal, he might as well have handed him a freaking blender.

As sure as night follows day the old coot screwed things up, he recorded the memorable event in selfie mode. That means he captured his own reaction, and adorable as it was, the couple would have beaten the sweetness out of him if another (much younger) person hadn`t recorded the proposal.

Believe it or not, back in the day the old geezer was a photographer in the Navy, and he probably took some great photographs of naval battles during the Civil War, but he sure as hell doesn`t know how to use a cellphone camera.

Moral of this story: By all means include the elderly in important events in your life, but for the love of God don`t ask them to do anything with technology that involves anything more modern than a rotary phone.

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Teen Electrocuted Using Phone While Taking a Bath

“A Texas teen died on Sunday morning after being electrocuted in a bathtub by her cellphone.

Madison Coe`s relatives told KCBD that the 14-year-old girl was either plugging in her phone while in the bathtub or grabbed the phone as it was charging before it fell into the bathtub of her father`s New Mexico home.


A cellphone is a teen`s constant companion, they text while they`re eating, driving and sometimes even while they`re making love. The bond between a teen and his phone is stronger than any human relationship, woe to anyone who comes between a young person and his phone.

I`m not a teen or a millennial, I`m a regular human being, and although I am rarely without my phone, I draw the line somewhere: I don`t use my phone in the bath.

My condolences to the family and friends of this hapless young woman, but her death is a teaching moment. It`s dangerous to text and drive, it`s even dangerous to text and walk, you could walk right into a telephone pole. Charging your phone next to a bath full of water is a brain dead idea.

Moral of this story: Don`t be a wanker, put your phone down and discover life. It`s too late for Madison, but hopefully you will discover that there`s 101 better things to do than texting.

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What’s the One App Donald Trump Should Have on His Phone?

“One fun thing: POTUS` current device is an iPhone with ONE app: Twitter.”


The average millennial has dozens of apps on his phone, it`s not surprising that a septuagenarian has only one. Considering how much trouble Trump has got into on Twitter, imagine the chaos if he learns about other apps like Tinder. The short-fingered vulgarian would be swiping right like crazy and hooking up with all sorts of skanks.

What is the one indispensable app that Trump should have on his iPhone:


This would be perfect for the grammar-challenged moron.


The principal feature of Snapchat is that pictures and messages are only available for a short time before they become inaccessible. If Trump communicated only via Snapchat it would be less likely that his inane thoughts would go viral.


I would recommend that Trump subscribe to channels featuring makeup tutorials. What`s up with the orange complexion?


If I hear Trump mispronounce “China” one more time, I`m going bonkers!


This fart sound app would provide countless hours of entertainment for Trump, he could drive Mike Pence to loss his salvation by blaming him for farting. If Trump spent his time farting around with this app he would have less time to destroy our country.

Dear loyal readers what`s the one app that you think Trump should have on his phone?

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