Trump’s Bowling Ball Test

“President Donald Trump often speaks of how other countries treat American products unfairly. At a private fundraising event in Missouri, Trump singled out a particular practice in Japan.

`It`s called the bowling ball test. Do you know what that is?` Trump said, according to a recording obtained by the Washington Post. `That`s where they take a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air, and they drop it on the hood of the car. And if the hood dents, then the car doesn`t qualify. Well, guess what, the roof dented a little bit, and they said, nope, this car doesn`t qualify. It`s horrible, the way we`re treated. It`s horrible.`”

Politifact

The Washington Post noted: It was unclear what he was talking about. No shi*! The same thing could be said after almost every Trump comment.

When White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders was asked in her regular press briefing, what the heck Trump was talking about, she responded that he was just joking. That`s the default explanation for Trump aides when their boss utters a ridiculous statement.

I have my own version of the Bowling Ball Test, if you believe Japan employs a bowling ball test to disqualify American imports, or just about anything else that emanates from Trump`s sphincter-shaped mouth, you have the IQ of a bowling ball.

If you drop a bowling ball from 20 feet up in the air on the hood of any car, be it a Mercedes-Benz or a Ford Focus, the hood will cave in.

Modern cars are intentionally made to crush under even a moderate impact, the more a car crushes the more it absorbs the energy. Better the automobile absorb the impact than a bowling ball or a human head.

I wish a patriot would end this charade and drop a bowling ball on Trump`s head from 200 feet in the air. Please no calls from the Secret Service, like Trump I have a penchant for joking around.

Read More:

http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/statements/2018/mar/15/donald-trump/trump-botches-japanese-bowling-ball-test/

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Donald Trump Had Porn Star Stormy Daniels Spank Him With a Forbes Magazine

Donald Trump is such an omnipresent fixture on media that his hideous face with his sphincter-like mouth has been indelibly etched on my mind.

When the Grim Reaper finally drags the decrepit reprobate to hell, and he`s no longer a regular feature on the evening news, I will still need deprogramming to cleanse him from my consciousness.

Normal folks have a visceral reaction when they see Trump on TV, namely we throw the remote at the screen, and then search Google for painless ways to commit suicide.

Now a new particularly disquieting detail has emerged about the president`s affair with porn star Stormy Daniels that may cause even diehard Trump supporters to retch. These cultists could care less that Trump paid her off to keep quiet, but they may be troubled that he ordered the porn starlet to spank him with a copy of Forbes that featured Trump, Donald Jr., and Ivanka on the cover.

To have a porn star spank you may be every guy`s fantasy, but to have the hoe spank you with a magazine that features your family on the cover is wrong, horribly wrong.

I like to believe that I`ve done some good with the thousands of essays I`ve published online since 2008, but all that may be negated by leaving my readers with an image that they will never be able to erase: Our obese president butt naked being spanked by a porn star.

My readers may never forgive me, but God forgive me!

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Must be Removed From Office by Any Means Necessary

In the future we will have to explain to our grandchildren just how exhausted and debilitated we were after surviving the interminable first year of Donald Trump`s presidency.

In his inaugural address Trump lamented “American carnage,” his words had a prophetic quality because he has bulldozed and trampled over our democratic institutions of the free press, independent judiciary and bipartisanship leadership. Any sober-minded patriot who considers the state of the Union will see carnage everywhere. Trump didn`t end American carnage as he promised in his inaugural speech, he exhilarated the decline of all of our democratic institutions.

After a year of living under the Trump regime I am simply exhausted, Trump is like a category five hurricane that never runs of of steam because it`s powered by Satan`s infernal farts. It is impossible to ignore Trump without becoming a recluse and unplugging the TV and radio, and going offline. The only solution is to remove Trump from office BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

Trump will never pivot, he will never become presidential, and he will never reach rock bottom. His mind is a bottomless shithole of racism, vulgarity and paranoia. As a political writer for a local newspaper and a blogger I am perhaps more exhausted than most of my fellow Americans, because it`s my job to chronicle Trump`s racism and sheer insanity.

But we must not grow weary in well-doing, we must continue our fight against our shithole president and his shithole Republican enablers until he`s removed from office, and I emphasize BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.

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Shithole President Makes Shithole Racist Statement

During a meeting with a bipartisan group of senators at the White House discussing immigration in general, and DACA in particular, President Donald Trump referred to El Salvador, Haiti and the entire continent of Africa as “shithole countries.” Trump followed that pearl of wisdom by suggesting that he`d rather see immigrants from countries like Norway.

Republican Sens. Tom Cotton, David Perdue and Lindsey Graham, Senate Minority Whip Dick Durbin and Republican Reps. Bob Goodlatte, Kevin McCarthy and Mario Diaz-Balart were at the meeting.

Oh to be a fly on the wall! How did these illustrious politicians react when Trump made those obscene and blatantly racist statements? I would have immediately called out the president for his inflammatory and bigoted remarks. Unless someone surreptitiously recorded the meeting we may never know, but we do know that not one of these statesmen has publicly repudiated Trump since the infamous meeting.

The silence has been deafening from the likes of Speaker of the House Paul Ryan and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell; are they banking on the notion that America has become inured to the fact that out shithole president is a racist?

We must never accept the fact that Trump is a racist, we most condemn him every time he makes a racist comment. Trump`s racist remarks lead to racist policies which leads to violence against people of color.

Politicians must follow the example of Rep. Mia Love, a Utah Republican whose parents came to America from Haiti who issued the following statement:

This behavior is unacceptable from the leader of our nation. The President must apologize to both the American people and the nations he so wantonly maligned.

My parents came from the shithole countries of Mexico and Venezuela, and they instilled in me a strong work ethic, a desire to educate myself, and a passion to speak out against racism. As a columnist for a local print publication, and as a blogger I will condemn Trump every time he utters a racist comment.

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Time Cover Depicts Donald Trump’s Urine-Colored Hair on Fire

“Time magazine on its latest cover shows President Trump`s hair on fire to depict his first year in office.

The cover, which was designed by artist Edel Rodriguez, depicts the president screaming with his yellow hair on fire. The caption reads: “Year One.”

Rodriguez said the flames in Trump`s hair is a reference to author Michael Wolff`s new book, “Fire and Fury: Inside the Trump White House.”

The Hill

Donald Trump is such a narcissist that he salivates whenever he makes the cover of a major magazine, especially Time Magazine. Trump often brags about how many times he`s appeared on the cover of Time, and until recently he even had a fake cover of Time depicting him displayed in several of his resorts.

But I don`t think the dotard will be displaying the latest cover of Time featuring him in the Oval Office. It depicts the president screaming with his urine-colored hair on fire. The image doesn`t show him below his belt, but if it did his pants would be on fire, since he`s the greatest liar ever to reside in the White House.

I find it especially delicious that the artist is a Cuban American; I can imagine Trump tossing and turning in bed, unable to sleep because a Latino has so thoroughly captured his essence.

The talented artist in 2016 depicted then-candidate Trump in “Meltdown” and “Total Meltdown” on Time covers. I eagerly anticipate one final Edel Rodgriquez Trump Time cover: The caption will be “Impeached” and the image will ashes floating in the breeze.

Pic of Time Cover:

http://thehill.com/homenews/media/368468-time-magazine-cover-depicts-trumps-hair-on-fire-to-sum-up-his-first-year

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What’s Next for Omarosa?

“As Omarosa Manigault Newman exits her job in the White House, a bizarre video showing her less, er, stateswomanly side has emerged.

A pop-culture polymath sent Page Six a link to `Soul Sistahs,` an ultra-camp, hyper-kitsch, uber-low-budget 10-minute sci-fi short film.

While the plot is virtually incomprehensible, as far as we can tell it focuses on an intergalactic yenta in a housecoat who kidnaps Omarosa in an attempt to steal Donald Trump`s hair as part of a difficult-to-understand get-rich-quick scheme.

The mini-flick was made back in 2006 – two years after Omarosa shot to fame on Trump`s NBC show `The Apprentice.`”

Page Six

What does the future hold for Omarosa after her abrupt resignation/termination as the Director of Communications for the Office of Public Liaison for the Trump administration?

That`s a fancy title for somebody whose major role in the White House was providing a smidgen of diversity. Ostensibly she was a liaison to the black community, but African-Americans hated the Uncle Tom witch as was evidenced by their glee when she was fired. Bye Felicia, indeed!

Omarosa is an ordained minister, and she would fit right in the world of evangelical hucksterism, but that may be beneath her.

Omarosa could star in a reality TV show, but after starring in the ultimate reality series, the Trump Administration, I don`t think she`s going that route.

Omarosa looks like a drag queen, Omarosa even sounds like a drag queen moniker, and she could hit the gay club circuit as the ultimate drag queen, but there`s not enough money in that racket.

This short-form video made back in 2006 highlights Omarosa`s skill as a kitschy, campy starlet. You don`t have to be gay, well maybe a wee bit gay to enjoy this campy video. Just fire up your bong, and enjoy the tomfoolery!

Omarosa is Barbarella for the 21st century. With an infusion of cash and a multi-million marketing campaign, “Soul Sistah`s II” would be a smash hit.

Read More:

https://pagesix.com/2017/12/16/bizarre-film-of-omarosa-surfaces-amid-white-house-exit/?_ga=2.216444374.1784380232.1513431578-1780243009.1513431578

Female Cyclist Flips Donald Trump the Bird! God Bless Her!

“The president of the United States is used to being saluted, but a cyclist in Virginia put her own particular slant on the tradition on Saturday when she was overtaken by Donald Trumps motorcade.

The woman on her bike was photographed raising her middle finger when Trump`s cavalcade passed her on its way out from the Trump National Golf Club on the banks of the Potomac river, on the outskirts of Washington DC. She then repeated the gesture when she caught up with the motorcade.

The White House pool report noted drily: POTUS`s motorcade departed the Trump National Golf Club at 3.12pm, passing two pedestrians, one of whom gave a thumbs-down sign. Then it overtook a female cyclist, wearing a white top and cycling helmet, who responded by giving the middle finger.

The motorcade had to slow and the cyclist caught up, still offering the finger, before turning off in a different direction. Motorcade is now gathering speed and heading for DC.”

The Guardian

There are hundreds of statues of Paul Revere on his magnificent steed, immortalizing his midnight run warning the patriots that the British were coming.

I`m an optimist and I hope that one day there will be hundreds of statues of this woman on her bicycle with her middle finger extended warning patriots that our president is a national disgrace.

This heroic woman has yet to be identified, and maybe it`s better if she isn`t, because she represents all of us who are horrified and disgusted by the short-fingered vulgarian.

This patriot on her mighty bicycle saluted Trump as his cavalcade passed her on its way out from the Trump National Golf Club. Trump spends almost every weekend at one of his golf resorts, patriots should greet him whenever he enters or leaves one of his resorts with extended middle fingers.

Flipping Trump the bird is the perfect way of demonstrating our contempt, it`s speaking in a language that he will understand, and it`s a reminder that everybody, even children, have longer fingers.

Read More:

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2017/oct/29/hail-to-the-chief-cyclist-gives-trump-the-middle-finger

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Rocket Man Vs The Dotard! Who Are You Rooting For?

Donald Trump has been called every name in the book, his willful ignorance, depraved profanity and epic narcissism is enough to make even a nun call him anything but a child of God.

When President Donald Trump gave an an address at the United Nations (The Mecca of diplomacy) on September 19, 2017 he referred to North Korea`s regime as a “band of criminals” and he called Kim Jong-un a “Rocket Man on a suicide mission.”

Trump`s speech at the United Nations is the equivalent of a sex worker giving a lecture at Notre Dame University where she blasts the school`s administration as “hypocritical and puritanical a**holes who need to get their heads out of the pope`s ass, realize it`s the 21st century, and allow escorts to ply their ancient trade in their university.”

Leave it to North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un (no stranger to fiery rhetoric), to come back with the perfect rejoinder:

I will surely and definitely tame the mentally deranged U.S. dotard with fire.

The Oxford Dictionary definition:

An old person, especially one who has become weak or senile.

The Urban Dictionary definition:

When you are in the midst of your dotage meaning that you are in the midst of your mental decline. i.e. you`re in the process of becoming a fuc*ing idiot.

I admit I didn`t know the definition of “dotard,” but it`s a perfect description of Trump. It`s similar to “retard,” but not as politically-incorrect.

Kim Jong-un is the Dear Leader of a communist hellhole, but most of us are hoping and praying that he will indeed tame the mentally deranged dotard with fire.

Maybe North Korea`s military technology is more advanced than we ever suspected, and they are capable of launching a tiny projectile, no longer than Trump`s penis, and target the freaking dotard.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Who’s More Evil, Donald Trump the Racist Clown or Pennywise the Clown?

“Stephen King`s Twitter war with Donald Trump isn`t over yet.

After being blocked on Twitter by Trump in June, the famous horror writer got revenge on the President Thursday evening by declaring that he`d be returning the favor – by blocking Trump from seeing the upcoming film `IT` and television series `Mr. Mercedes,` both based on works by King.

`Donald Trump blocked me on Twitter. I am hereby blocking him from seeing IT or MR. MERCEDES. No clowns for you, Donald. Go float yourself,` King tweeted.”

BDN MAINE

Stephen King has created many horrifying characters, like Pennywise the Clown, that haunt us in our nightmares, but even the master of horror couldn`t conceive of an abomination like Donald Trump the President of the United States.

King has been fighting the evil clown on Twitter, it`s no surprise that Trump blocked the acclaimed writer on Twitter.

King is now returning the favor, by blocking the orange clown from seeing the upcoming film “IT” and the television series “MR. MERCEDES,” both based on novels by the famous novelist.

Of course King can`t really block the perverse clown from seeing the productions based on his works, but wouldn`t it be great if we could block any image or article about Trump from social media, newspapers, and TV and radio? Surely there`s an app for that!

Living in a Trump-free world would be as close to paradise as we can get this side of death, unfortunately we need to hear about Trump`s daily outrages and scandals. We need to be outraged, so that we will be compelled to fight the evil clown until he`s banished from our great country.

Read More:

https://bangordailynews.com/2017/08/26/news/state/stephen-king-blocks-donald-trump-from-it/

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German Magazine Portrays Donald Trump Giving Nazi Salute

“A German magazine has portrayed President Donald Trump giving a Nazi salute on its latest front page.

Stern magazine mocked up the image of Trump performing the gesture while draped in the American flag for the cover of its Aug. 24 issue.

The magazine`s cover is the latest in a line of provocative anti-Trump front pages to appear since the president failed to fully condemn this month`s violent white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, Virginia.”

Huffington Post

If anyone can recognize the dangers of Nazi philosophy taking root in a democracy it`s the Germans, and they are appalled at Donald Trump`s embrace of White Nationalism.

Americans are aware that Trump`s toxic racism is doing incalculable harm to our democracy, but I don`t think most of us realize how much harm he`s doing to America`s reputation and standing in the world.

Stern`s cover is spot on, Trump drapes himself in patriotism and American supremacy while winking at the violent antics of White Nationalists. Nazi ideology is the antithesis of democracy, and it`s incumbent on the president to denounce it in no uncertain terms.

If America is to survive as a democracy we must hate Nazism as much as the Germans, and that means impeaching our racist president.

Link to pic of cover of Stern:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/donald-trump-stern-magazine-cover-sieg-heil_us_599e758be4b05710aa59bc43

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