Sweden Terror Attack! Never Fjorget!

“President Donald Trump caused confusion during a Saturday rally in Florida when he said: `You look at what`s happening last night in Sweden. Sweden, who would believe this?` Trump then mentioned the French cities of Nice and Paris and the Belgian capital, Brussels. The three European cities were all attacked by terrorists over the past two years.

Although Trump did not explicitly say it, his remarks were widely perceived in the United States and abroad as suggesting that an attack had occurred Friday night in Sweden.”

Denver Post

What doesn`t happen in Sweden doesn`t stay in Sweden, the whole world is expressing solidarity with the Scandinavian country over the terror attack that didn`t happen.

Folks are expressing sympathy for Sweden in different ways: Furnishing their homes with IKEA furniture, dusting off their ABBA vinyl records and discoing their blues away, drowning their sorrows in mug after mug of Swiss Miss hot chocolate, trying to forget the Swedish massacre that never happened by watching Swiss porn . ..

We didn`t say anything when the press failed to cover the Bowling Green Massacre, but Never Again! We will smother Sweden with love as they struggle to cope with the faux massacre. We will demand that the fake news networks report this very real story.

Get with the program people, the least you can do is add a Swiss flag filter to your Facebook or Twitter profile picture.

With this one silly article I have exceeded my yearly quota of double and triple negatives.

Pray for Sweden! Never Fjorget!

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Donald Trump: Campaigner-in-Chief

Donald Trump`s default speech mode is hyperbole, and that bombastic style was a perfect fit in the worlds of professional wrestling and reality TV.

Trump`s disregard for the truth and over-the-top rhetoric served him well on the campaign trail, enough American swallowed his alternative facts to land him in the White House.

Trump`s shoot-from-the-hip style has been a disaster in the White House, his press conferences and tweets have infuriated and perplexed American politicians and foreign leaders.

The press isn`t seduced by Trump`s shtick, they are determined to hold him accountable for the excesses of his administration. They want the truth about his ties to Russia, and they want an explanation for the chaos swirling in the White House. Unfortunately, the media`s bias against conservatives in general and Trump in particular taints their mission to uncover the truth.

Trump thrives in chaos, but even he needs a break from the freak show, and he is seeking affirmation and refuge on the campaign trail.

The Donald returned on Saturday to the activity he enjoys the most: Running for the office he already holds. “I want to be among my friends and among the people,” Trump told a crowd of 9,000 diehard supporters at Orlando Melbourne International Airport in Melbourne, Florida.

The applause from his adoring true believers is an elixir for Trump, but he can`t campaign for the next four years. Trump can accomplish only so much from executive orders, sooner or later he has to govern. Trump doesn`t know the first thing about running a country or being commander-in-chief — we`re screwed.

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Donald Trump is Bonkers

“Al Franken recently raised a provocative question about Donald Trump: Is he mentally ill? On HBO`s Real Time with Bill Maher last week, the Minnesota senator claimed that some of his Republican colleagues have `great concern about the president`s temperament,` adding that `there`s a range in what they`ll say, and some will say that he`s not right mentally. And some are harsher.

Congressman Ted Lieu, a California Democrat, is introducing legislation that would require the White House to have a psychiatrist on staff. `I`m looking at it from the perspective of, if there are questions about the mental health of the president of the United States, what may be the best way to get the president treatment?` he told the Huffington Post.”

New Republic

You don`t have to be a psychiatrist or a psychologist to deduce that Donald Trump is bonkers.

The only thing up for debate is what drove Trump crazy: Untreated syphilis infected his brain? Orange spray tan seeped into his brain? Too many rejections by his daughter Ivanka?

After witnessing Trump`s surreal press conference on Thursday I said to myself:

This presser is so over-the-top it`s parody proof, Saturday Night Live has an impossible task trying to satirize the stream-of-consciousness rantings of a lunatic.

Trump is bonkers! Stark raving mad! Crazier than a shithouse rat!

Trump`s grip on power is secure for at least the next two years; America`s only hope is that in two years the Democrats will regain control of both houses of Congress and immediately begin impeachment proceedings against the Orange Menace.

In the meantime I hope that Pence, Priebus, and Banner will force Trump to sleep in a straightjacket so he can`t fire off any tweets in the middle of the night that will ignite World War III.

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Chris Christie: Trump Made Me Order Meatloaf at White House Dinner

“The New Jersey governor and former Republican presidential candidate, along with his wife, Mary Pat, visited the White House on Tuesday to have dinner with Trump. Christie spoke about the event while guest-hosting a New York sports talk radio show and says that when the diners opened their menus, Trump told everyone to have whatever they`d like to eat – except Christie himself.

Instead, Trump insisted that both he and Christie would have the meatloaf.”

People Magazine

I`m not surprised Christie had the meatloaf, he`s a “yes man,” plus he`ll eat anything that`s placed in front of him. You don`t weigh as much as a baby hippo by having a refined palate. The easiest job in the world is being Christie`s personal cook, all he has to do is fill the governor`s trough with slop, and he`ll be a happy camper.

If Trump told me “You and I are having meatloaf,” I would reply, “Oh, hell No! This is the damn White House, I`m having steak and lobster and I`m washing it down with Dom Perignon,”

Trump is surrounded by sycophants and yes men – for the love of God isn`t there one man who will tell the emperor that he isn`t wearing any clothes, and that`s he`s exposing his tiny pecker?

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President Donald Trump Vs Prime Minister Justin Trudeau! Who Won the Handshake Battle?

“President Donald Trump has a weird way of shaking hands. His herky-jerky grappling style sometimes makes it look like he`s fighting with the other person, and maybe even trying to rip their arm out of its socket. But Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau appeared prepared for an uncomfortable greeting when he visited the White House on Monday.

A video of Trump welcoming Trudeau shows the prime minister quickly grasping the president`s shoulder with his left arm, seemingly bracing for a potential pull. Trudeau then brings the handshake close and toward his center, cutting off Trump`s leverage and ensuring that his shoulder remains intact.”

Huffington Post

Donald Trump is a WWE (World Wrestling Entertainment) fan, a friend of WWE CEO Vince McMahon, and he even hosted a couple of WrestleMania events.Trump was inducted into the celebrity wing of the WWE Celebrity Hall of Fame.

Trump has introduced a wrestling submission hold into the world of politics with great success. It`s not the Huge Kiss of Death, although if Trump kissed an opponent with his sphincter-shaped mouth it might kill him. It`s not the Genital Grasp of Domination whereby the Donald grabs a person`s genitals until he or she cries “uncle.”

It`s the Presidential Handshake of Death, typically Trump greets a world leader by gripping his hand, jerking it toward him almost ripping the arm out of its socket, rendering him a quivering mass of jelly. Even strongmen like Israeli Prime Minister Bibi Netanyahu have been no match for Donald`s submission hold.

Trump finally met his match, and it wasn`t North Korea`s dictator or Iran`s Supreme Leader who got the best of him, it was, believe it or not, the pretty boy Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau.

Watch and marvel as Trudeau counters and neutralizes Trump`s signature submission hold.

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Donald Trump Valentine’s Day Memes

Donald Trump is the most meme-worthy politician of our social media age. His clownish physical appearance, penchant for tweeting insults, and his thin skin are just too much of a temptation; the vanguard of the resistance are bloggers, pundits, and politicians armed with memes.

When you think of which holidays are synonymous with Trump “April Fools` Day” and “Halloween” come to mind, a Trump Valentine`s Day meme sees incongruous, but why not? Trump`s twisted love for his daughter Ivanka, his budding bromance with Putin and his pussy-grabbing ways are just begging for memes.

In the last couple of years I`ve created over a dozen Trump memes, but today I want to feature these Valentine`s Day Trump memes created by minds even more twisted than mine. Enjoy:


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Dominican Newspaper Runs Photo of Alec Baldwin Instead of Donald Trump

A Spanish-language newspaper in the Dominican Republic mistakenly ran a photograph of Alec Baldwin from Saturday Night Live in place of a photo of President Donald Trump.

Everyone in the civilized world, including the Caribbean, knows that Baldwin has impersonated Trump on the NBC late night sketch comedy show to the acclaim of critics and the mortification of the American president.

The newspaper El Nacional issued a correction, but not before the image went viral.

My thoughts:

If you believe this was an honest mistake, I have beachfront property in Nebraska you might be interested in purchasing.

Before the advent of the Internet a newspaper in a banana republic could run a photograph of an Oompa Loompa in place of an image of President Trump, and Americans would never hear a word about it. Today the mayor of Timbuktu could name his bowl movement “Donald Trump” and appoint it to his city council and it would be trending on Facebook and Twitter before you could say: Holy Shit!

The world has become a village, and the entire world knows we have elected the village idiot president of the United States.

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Japanese Prime Minister Survives 19-Second Handshake With Donald Trump

“The internet is on fire talking about a handshake. Specifically, a handshake between U.S. President Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinz┼Ź Abe. It`s a weird handshake that goes on far too long even for Abe`s liking. Seriously.”

Huffington Post

During a photo op in the Oval Office, a Japanese reporter asked Donald Trump and Japanese Prime Minister Shinozo Abe to shake hands. A simple and innocuous request, what could possibly go wrong?

Trump pulled Abe`s hand too close for comfort, patted it several times as if he was patting a woman`s behind, and held on for 19 seconds.

Trump may have felt like smoking a cigarette after the awkward encounter, but after surviving the interminable handshake, poor Abe may be in need of post traumatic counseling.

When Trump finally released Abe, he rolled his eyes towards heaven. We feel you Prime Minister Abe, Trump`s got us all rolling our eyes.

I`m proud of myself; I didn`t make any jokes about Trump compensating for his tiny hands by …

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Elizabeth Warren is an Abomination

The 2020 presidential race is already underway, and Sen. Elizabeth Warren is tweeting and grandstanding as if it were only months away, not years. Warren will stoop as low as necessary to dominate every news cycle.

Donald Trump has been in office less than a month, and already I am sick and tired of Trump`s incompetence and Warren`s intransigence.

The ultimate glass ceiling will be shattered one day, but it won`t be the likes of a Hillary Clinton or an Elizabeth Warren.Is is too much to ask for a female presidential candidate who doesn`t ooze venom and disdain for the 99%?

Warren is even more tiresome than Hillary Clinton, and she`s been in the public spotlight a few years, not decades.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell was right to invoke Rule 19 against Warren for her vitriolic attack against her “friend and colleague” Senator Jeff Sessions. What a pretentious, bloviating phony, I`m glad McConnell bitch-slapped her into silence.

Trump`s administration got all kinds of blowback for putting Iran “on notice,” but not a peep from the press when Warren put Sessions on notice:

“If Jeff Sessions makes even the tiniest attempt to bring his racism, sexism & bigotry into @TheJusticeDept, he`ll hear from all of us.”

We`ve heard enough from you already, shut the hell up.

Why do I despise Warren so much? As a minority I will never forgive her for falsely claiming that she was part Native American in order to advance her academic career.

The “Never Trump” movement failed abysmally, hopefully the “Never Warren” movement will succeed in permanently silencing her.

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Does Donald Trump Wear a Bathrobe While Watching CNN in the White House?

“Whether President Donald Trump wears a bathrobe while watching TV in the White House has been a bone of contention this week.

On Tuesday, his press secretary Sean Spicer vehemently dismissed a report that first surfaced in a New York Times article as `fake news,` adding that he didn`t think Trump even owned a bathrobe.

What is clear, however, is that Trump has worn a bathrobe on at least one occasion in the past, as this old photograph shows.”

Huffington Post

According to reporting by the New York Times (an anti-Trump publication) president Trump has a penchant for lounging around in the White House in a bathrobe. The obvious intention is to portray Trump as a slacker, he may be intemperate, racist, and childlike, but he`s not lazy. Trump is the hardest working man in politics, he sleeps only about four hours at night, and he probably fires off a couple of tweets during his sleep.

The New York Times would be well-advised to put a screeching halt to their vendetta against Trump, they are succeeding only in destroying their legitimacy.

In his younger years when Trump styled himself a playboy in the mold of Hugh Hefner, he probably owned dozens of designer bathrobes, but those days are behind him.

However I`m enjoying the memes depicting the blowhard billionaire clad in a bathrobe, click the link at the bottom of this page to see for yourself.


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