New York Theater Invites Patrons to Bring Their Dogs

“A theater in upstate New York is telling patrons to bring their dogs to four movies this month.

For its Dog Movie Week from Feb. 11 to Feb. 17, the Smith Opera House in Geneva, N.Y., will show dog-related films Best in Show, Must Love Dogs, The Artist and Bolt. The theatre will offer free treats to dogs, who can attend for free, as long as they are leashed and well-behaved.”

UPI

We`ve all taken a dog to a movie, we all have a date from hell horror story.

But taking a real dog to a movie is a dream come true; I can`t think of anything better than sharing a bucket of popcorn with my pooch as we enjoy a movie in a theater.

When a dude takes a date to a movie, he`s usually the one who pays for both tickets and the overpriced snacks. A night at the movies can easily set you back $50, but for Dog Movie Week at the Smith Opera House canines attend for free, plus they get free dog snacks.

Going to the movies has gone to the dogs, and I`m doggone happy.

Read More:
https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/02/01/New-York-theater-invites-movie-goers-to-bring-dogs/1891517503419/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=18

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Study: Dog Owners Would Rather Be With Pets Than Friends

“More than half of American dog owners admit they flake out on social events to hang out with their pet, according to new research.

The study of 2,000 dog owners found skipping out on human commitments specifically to get a bit of quality furry friend time is a common occurrence.

That bond is understandable given the way they aid our mental health – from their ability to lessen relationship stress to softening bad days at work and more, the average dog gets their owner through five (4.83) stressful events every week.

In fact, six in ten survey-takers said their dog often takes care of them in some way, shape or form, reinforcing the important two-way relationship between dogs and humans.”

Fox 10

I`m not surprised by the results of this study, I`d rather hang out with my pooch, Mandy, than engage in any social interaction with a friend, colleague or family member.

Of course I would rather spend quality time with my loyal and faithful canine companion than attend a social event where rats are scheming to climb the social ladder or flirting to find a rutting partner for the night.

Even innocuous small talk with a friend or coworker is like navigating a minefield, whereas walking or playing with Mandy is an oasis of peace and relaxation in a chaotic world.

Don`t feel guilty if you flaked out on attending a baby shower or a friend`s birthday party to hang out with your dog. That adorable baby will probably grow up to be an ungrateful spoiled brat, and your friend is probably bonking your girlfriend, whereas your pooch will remain faithful and loyal for the rest of his life.

Read More:

http://www.fox10phoenix.com/health/dog-owners-would-rather-be-with-pets-than-friends-study-suggests

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Nativity Scene Gone to the Dogs

“A woman has been overwhelmed by the response to her dog nativity scene after a photograph posted on Twitter was liked more than 83,000 times.

Jo Kingston, who runs a dog walking and grooming business in Mountsorrel, Leicestershire, said `it`s gone bonkers`.

BBC

A Nativity Scene fills Christians with a feeling of hope and promise that into this world of sin and sorrow a Savior is born.

Non-Christians may walk by a Nativity Scene and consider it just another symbol of the Holiday Season.

But nobody can look at this blessed pic of a Doggie Nativity Scene and not exclaim: IT`S A WONDERFUL WORLD!

Merry Christmas!

Pic of Dog Nativity Scene:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-leicestershire-42430724

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Rookie Airport Bomb-Sniffing Dog Pooping While on Duty

“Everyone makes mistakes early in their careers.

So the fact that a rookie bomb-sniffing dog has been pooping in the terminals and concourses at Midway International Airport is being dealt with delicately by her employer.

`It`s not going to ruin her career,` Kevin McCarthy, who heads up Transportation Security Administration operations at Midway, said earlier this week.

`It doesn`t impact her ability to do the job.`

The issue: the pooch, who`s just over two years old, has been getting a bit jittery in crowds.”

Chicago Sun Times

Putting up with an incontinent bomb-sniffing pooch is like a breath of fresh air compared to dealing with TSA Agents who think they`re proctologists.

There is no reason to act as if the shit has hit the fan, rookies are allowed to make mistakes.

I get jittery in large crowds also, although I haven`t crapped myself in frustration and nervousness, I have farted away my anxiety.

I don`t give a crap if a bomb-sniffing canine takes a crap while on duty, it`s a small price to pay for lessening the risk of getting blown to smithereens.

I`m glad the dog has an understanding trainer, there`s no reason to banish the poor creature to the doghouse.

Read More:

https://chicago.suntimes.com/chicago-politics/midway-bomb-sniffing-dog-has-pooping-problem/

 

 

Evil Woman Begs Cops to Shoot Dog Who Was Ripping Apart Her Car’s Bumper

“On Nov. 9 in an apartment parking lot in Dalton, Georgia, a dog went ape-shit on a Dodge Journey (an automobile that falls squarely in the unfortunate category) in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay. The cars owner was livid, and asked a responding officer to shoot the canine.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, can be heard asking the responding officer, Lieutenant Matthew Locke, to use force, saying:

`You can`t throw a rock at him, you can`t do anything?…You could shoot him!`”

Jalpopnik.Com

If I looked outside my window and saw a dog ripping apart the bumper on my car in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay, my first concern would be for the terrified kitty cats, and my second worry would be that the crazy pooch might injure himself attacking my vehicle.

I wouldn`t even be thinking about my automobile, especially if it was a nondescript freaking Dodge Journey, my car is insured after all.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, screamed and begged at the police officers to shoot the dog. She could care less that a bullet might kill the cats or a human being, her only thought was that her car was being destroying right before her eyes.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Jessica Dilallo is a monster who doesn`t deserve to live in civilized society. Diallo should be exiled to an uninhabited island where there are no humans or animals that she can hurt or kill.

Police officers` mandate to “protect and serve” extends to the animal family, and of course they didn`t hurt the hapless pooch.

The Pitbull-mix was taken to a shelter, the owner was identified, and he promised to pay for the damage to the wretched woman`s vehicle.

Read More:

https://jalopnik.com/woman-pleads-with-officer-to-shoot-dog-chewing-up-her-d-1820927006

Study: People Are More Empathetic Towards Dogs Than Fellow Humans

“Some dog owners love their four-legged friends so much that they treat them like they would a child – and sometimes even say they prefer them to some friends and family.

And according to new research, there`s a scientific reason why.

A study published in the journal Society and Animals suggested that people are more empathetic towards dogs than fellow humans.”

Business Insider

I make no apologies over the fact that I prefer the company of canines over human beings.

If a virus wiped out the entire human population except for me, I wouldn`t be terribly distressed as long as animals, and especially my pooch, were immune to the deadly virus.

When I`m with a human being, whether it`s a close friend or a stranger, holding up my end of the conversation is tiresome, but when I`m with Mandy my dog, our conversation is almost telepathic, we communicate nonverbally with glances and facial expressions that speaks of our loving bond.

Of course I`m more empathetic with towards dogs than my fellow humans, dogs are guileless and trusting unlike deceitful and` treacherous humans.

Unfortunately, dogs can`t read my essays, but if you love dogs more than humans let me know.

Read More:

http://www.businessinsider.com/humans-love-dogs-more-than-other-humans-2017-11

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Fall is the Perfect Time to Walk Your Dog

The dog days of summer are finally over, your pooch survived the season of ticks and fleas and you made it through the cruel months of sweat, sunburns and humidity.

Many a summer day you stayed inside the confines of your air-conditioned home, sipping a cold one and watching TV while your faithful companion was begging to go outside for a walk.

Now that the temperatures and the leaves are falling, there`s no excuse not to walk your dog every day.

Fall is the perfect time to go on long hikes or leisurely walks with your canine buddy.

A dog isn`t a high-maintenance pet, all he requires is a little love, a few bones and a daily walk so he can bond with his owner.

Fall is also the perfect time to go camping, consider taking your pooch instead of your drama queen girlfriend who will go into hysterics if she sees a fox or a snake.

Many campgrounds are dog-friendly, enjoying the great outdoors with your best friend is heaven on Earth.

Fall was created for a man and his dog, get with the program and go enjoy a walk with your pet.

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Should You Let Your Dog Lick You?

“Dogs lick us because they love us, but should we love their kisses?

There are more than 700 different types of bacteria in a dog`s mouth – and that`s just normal bacteria (it doesn`t count the rotting ham sandwich Fido found on his morning walk). So, that saying about a dog`s mouth being clean is rubbish.

Veterinarians Will Draper and Francoise Tyler, Web MD contributors from The Village Vets practices in Atlanta, Ga., say there are two reasons to be concerned: One, if a dog licks someone who has a weak immune system (like those with cancer) or two, if the dog has a medical condition that could spread.

There`s also a more obvious reason you might not want a smooch from your pooch, and that is: They put a lot of nasty stuff in their mouth.

USA TODAY

There`s nothing more heartwarming than watching a puppy lick a child, or a grown man kiss his pooch.

But in a society where every product has a warning label, some germaphobes are warning dog lovers that exchanging smooches with Fido is unsanitary and potentially dangerous.

I realize that unlike cats dogs don`t have a cleanliness fetish, they will greedily eat any rotting piece of meat they find during their daily walk, and they have a penchant for licking their nether regions.

But when my dog licks me when I come home from work, his demonstrative affection for me overwhelms any concerns I may have about what else he may have been licking.

When a man kisses a prostitute the last thing on his mind is what other creep she has been kissing, a dog owner`s love for his pet is stronger than the lust that a John has for a prostitute.

I don`t care if my pooch, Mandy, has 700 different types of bacteria in her mouth, a kiss from her is a tonic that fortifies me from life`s trials and tribulations.

Life is too short: Kiss your pooch!

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/22/exactly-how-gross-dog-kisses/522133001/

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Make a Bucket List for Your Pooch

“Mister Molson`s cancer diagnosis wasn`t going to stop his family from enjoying their last months with him. With the tumor in the golden retriever`s nose growing larger, his owners have been taking him on daily bucket list adventures.

Tim Griffin, Molson`s owner, posted the list on a blog and asked readers for suggestions. Since his March diagnosis, Molson, 12, has gone to the beach, ridden in police cars and fire trucks, gotten married, become a service dog and more.”

USA Today

I imagine that Mister Molson`s bucket list wouldn`t include any of the items on the list his owner made for him. I don`t think the pooch dreams about flying a helicopter or riding in a sidecar. But these are all activities that the dog would participate in with his owner, a canine is happy doing anything with his owner.

My pooch, Mandy, doesn`t have a green thumb, but she enjoys hanging out with me when I`m puttering around in my garden.

What would a dog`s bucket list look like?

Chew my owner`s new universal remote control.

Take a dump on that grouchy neighbor`s lawn.

Impregnate that cute poodle.

Urinate on every fire hydrant in the neighborhood.

Lick my ass one last time.

Find a decomposing bone to gnaw.

Don`t wait until your beloved animal companion is dying, show him some love now. All a pooch wants is to be with his master, include your dog in all of your favorite activities.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/humankind/2017/06/30/dying-dogs-bucket-list-adventure-make-you-feel-better-world/440286001/

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What Pet Should Donald Trump Get?

“Of all the stains besmirching the Trump presidency – the ethical lacunae, the spasmodic “policy” fits, the Golf Digest aesthetic – none looms so large as the absence of a White House pet. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead that he doesn`t want a loyal dog or faithful feline trotting beside him when he mounts that lonely staircase to the venerable Master Bedroom?

Apparently, yes.

It seems emblematic of President Trump`s blaring tone-deafness for the office that he doesn`t even feign interest in recruiting a furry, fowlish or finny friend. Pets reap vast, humanizing rewards for presidents, as almost every one of his predecessors has discovered.”

New York Times

Even Hitler had a pet, Blondi, a German Shepherd that was given to him as gift when it was a puppy. Hitler and his pooch were inseparable, Blondi stayed with her master to the bitter end, she was there with him when he finally died in his bunker.

I`m not comparing Trump to Hitler, the first rule of politics and political commentary is never compare anyone to Hitler. But Trump desperately needs a pet to soften his image.

What pet would be ideal for Trump?

Bird

Trump`s wispy hair would make an ideal nest for any bird.

Cat

Maybe not, we all know how Trump loves to grab pussy. Trump might grope a pussy cat to death.

Snake

Perfect choice! A snake is a universal symbol of evil, I can picture the evil bastard snuggling to sleep with a serpent.

Rat

Maybe not, it would be almost impossible to tell the rat apart from Trump`s aides.

Dog

It`s hard not to trust a person who loves dogs, if Trump can convince us that he loves his pooch, we might learn to tolerate him.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/opinion/sunday/what-kind-of-pet-should-donald-trump-get.html?_r=0

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