Fall is the Perfect Time to Walk Your Dog

The dog days of summer are finally over, your pooch survived the season of ticks and fleas and you made it through the cruel months of sweat, sunburns and humidity.

Many a summer day you stayed inside the confines of your air-conditioned home, sipping a cold one and watching TV while your faithful companion was begging to go outside for a walk.

Now that the temperatures and the leaves are falling, there`s no excuse not to walk your dog every day.

Fall is the perfect time to go on long hikes or leisurely walks with your canine buddy.

A dog isn`t a high-maintenance pet, all he requires is a little love, a few bones and a daily walk so he can bond with his owner.

Fall is also the perfect time to go camping, consider taking your pooch instead of your drama queen girlfriend who will go into hysterics if she sees a fox or a snake.

Many campgrounds are dog-friendly, enjoying the great outdoors with your best friend is heaven on Earth.

Fall was created for a man and his dog, get with the program and go enjoy a walk with your pet.

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Should You Let Your Dog Lick You?

“Dogs lick us because they love us, but should we love their kisses?

There are more than 700 different types of bacteria in a dog`s mouth – and that`s just normal bacteria (it doesn`t count the rotting ham sandwich Fido found on his morning walk). So, that saying about a dog`s mouth being clean is rubbish.

Veterinarians Will Draper and Francoise Tyler, Web MD contributors from The Village Vets practices in Atlanta, Ga., say there are two reasons to be concerned: One, if a dog licks someone who has a weak immune system (like those with cancer) or two, if the dog has a medical condition that could spread.

There`s also a more obvious reason you might not want a smooch from your pooch, and that is: They put a lot of nasty stuff in their mouth.

USA TODAY

There`s nothing more heartwarming than watching a puppy lick a child, or a grown man kiss his pooch.

But in a society where every product has a warning label, some germaphobes are warning dog lovers that exchanging smooches with Fido is unsanitary and potentially dangerous.

I realize that unlike cats dogs don`t have a cleanliness fetish, they will greedily eat any rotting piece of meat they find during their daily walk, and they have a penchant for licking their nether regions.

But when my dog licks me when I come home from work, his demonstrative affection for me overwhelms any concerns I may have about what else he may have been licking.

When a man kisses a prostitute the last thing on his mind is what other creep she has been kissing, a dog owner`s love for his pet is stronger than the lust that a John has for a prostitute.

I don`t care if my pooch, Mandy, has 700 different types of bacteria in her mouth, a kiss from her is a tonic that fortifies me from life`s trials and tribulations.

Life is too short: Kiss your pooch!

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2017/08/22/exactly-how-gross-dog-kisses/522133001/

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Make a Bucket List for Your Pooch

“Mister Molson`s cancer diagnosis wasn`t going to stop his family from enjoying their last months with him. With the tumor in the golden retriever`s nose growing larger, his owners have been taking him on daily bucket list adventures.

Tim Griffin, Molson`s owner, posted the list on a blog and asked readers for suggestions. Since his March diagnosis, Molson, 12, has gone to the beach, ridden in police cars and fire trucks, gotten married, become a service dog and more.”

USA Today

I imagine that Mister Molson`s bucket list wouldn`t include any of the items on the list his owner made for him. I don`t think the pooch dreams about flying a helicopter or riding in a sidecar. But these are all activities that the dog would participate in with his owner, a canine is happy doing anything with his owner.

My pooch, Mandy, doesn`t have a green thumb, but she enjoys hanging out with me when I`m puttering around in my garden.

What would a dog`s bucket list look like?

Chew my owner`s new universal remote control.

Take a dump on that grouchy neighbor`s lawn.

Impregnate that cute poodle.

Urinate on every fire hydrant in the neighborhood.

Lick my ass one last time.

Find a decomposing bone to gnaw.

Don`t wait until your beloved animal companion is dying, show him some love now. All a pooch wants is to be with his master, include your dog in all of your favorite activities.

Read More:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/humankind/2017/06/30/dying-dogs-bucket-list-adventure-make-you-feel-better-world/440286001/

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What Pet Should Donald Trump Get?

“Of all the stains besmirching the Trump presidency – the ethical lacunae, the spasmodic “policy” fits, the Golf Digest aesthetic – none looms so large as the absence of a White House pet. Breathes there a man with a soul so dead that he doesn`t want a loyal dog or faithful feline trotting beside him when he mounts that lonely staircase to the venerable Master Bedroom?

Apparently, yes.

It seems emblematic of President Trump`s blaring tone-deafness for the office that he doesn`t even feign interest in recruiting a furry, fowlish or finny friend. Pets reap vast, humanizing rewards for presidents, as almost every one of his predecessors has discovered.”

New York Times

Even Hitler had a pet, Blondi, a German Shepherd that was given to him as gift when it was a puppy. Hitler and his pooch were inseparable, Blondi stayed with her master to the bitter end, she was there with him when he finally died in his bunker.

I`m not comparing Trump to Hitler, the first rule of politics and political commentary is never compare anyone to Hitler. But Trump desperately needs a pet to soften his image.

What pet would be ideal for Trump?

Bird

Trump`s wispy hair would make an ideal nest for any bird.

Cat

Maybe not, we all know how Trump loves to grab pussy. Trump might grope a pussy cat to death.

Snake

Perfect choice! A snake is a universal symbol of evil, I can picture the evil bastard snuggling to sleep with a serpent.

Rat

Maybe not, it would be almost impossible to tell the rat apart from Trump`s aides.

Dog

It`s hard not to trust a person who loves dogs, if Trump can convince us that he loves his pooch, we might learn to tolerate him.

Read More:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/04/15/opinion/sunday/what-kind-of-pet-should-donald-trump-get.html?_r=0

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Dad Kills Son Over Who Would Walk the Dog

“A family argument over who would walk the dog turned deadly when a dad shot and killed his son during a wild shootout Sunday in Chicago, police said.

Both men, whose identities were not immediately released, were shot multiple times and the father was critically injured.”

New York Post

Just another shooting in the crime-riddled city of Chicago, at least the pooch wasn`t collateral damage. I am so sick and tired of Chicagoans and their thirst for violence; I can honestly say that I care more about the dogs than the human beings of the Windy City.

Anybody who regards walking his dog as a chore instead of a pleasure doesn`t deserve to own a canine. The only way this story could have a happier ending would be if both morons had died.

Walking my pooch, Mandy, is the highlight of my day; I love walking around my neighborhood, greeting my neighbors, and letting the little kids pet my adorable pet. The fact that Mandy loves walking around the block as much as I do is just icing on the cake.

Animal control should take the dog away from the critically-inured survivor, that sorry excuse for a human being doesn`t deserve to have his dog waiting for him when he`s released from prison.

Read More:

http://nypost.com/2017/04/10/father-kills-son-in-shootout-over-who-would-walk-the-dog/

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Talking to Your Pet is a Sign of Intelligence

“Have you ever named your car, talked to your pets or sang to your plants? Don`t worry, you`re not losing it. In fact, it`s a sign of intelligence.

Anthropomorphising – giving humanlike tendencies to inanimate objects and animals – is `a natural byproduct of the tendency that makes humans uniquely smart on this planet,` Nicholas Epley, behavioural science professor at the University of Chicago, told Quartz.”

Indy100.Com

I talk to my cats and my dog every day, and I always feel better after after chatting with them, a marked contrast to my social interactions with most people.

I don`t discuss climate change or foreign policy with my furry companions, but I shower my felines with compliments about their physical attractiveness, and I chastise my pooch for digging holes in my backyard.

When my non animal-friendly friends catch me talking to my pets, they give me a look that says: Doesn`t this idiot realize that his animals don`t understand a word he`s saying.

Now I can clap back at these haters with the words of behavioral scientist Nicholas Epley: Taking to animals is a sign of intelligence.

I talk to my pets every day, therefore I must be a freaking genius.

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Stray Dog Adopted as Newest Friar by Bolivian Monastery

 

“A Franciscan monastery in Bolivia adopted a stray dog and allowed it to join its ranks as the newest friar.

Proyecto Narices Frias (Cold Nose Project) shared photos of the dog, who was given the title Friar Bigoton or Friar Moustache, dressed in traditional robes alongside his fellow friars at the monastery in Cochabamba.

The group hopes Friar Bigoton`s story will encourage other people to adopt stray dogs.

UPI

What a wonderful example this Franciscan monastery in providing for all churches, a house of worship should minister to all members of their community, including stray pets.

The Franciscan order takes its name after St. Francis of Assisi, the patron saint of animals, this monastery is living up to the legacy of its founder.

Every church, Catholic and Protestant, should adopt a stray dog or cat as its official mascot. There is no better way for a church to welcome a stranger than having a pooch greet them at the vestibule.

I`d rather receive a sloppy wet kiss from a canine, than have a priest sprinkle me with holy water.

I`d feel comfortable at any church where a humble pooch is accepted as part of its faith community.

Pics of pooch:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/03/08/Stray-dog-adopted-as-newest-friar-by-Bolivian-monastery/6651488995735/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

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Brewery Offers ‘Paw-ternity’ Leave for Employees with Puppies

 

“A Scottish brewery has instituted a new policy offering `puppy parental leave` for employees raising young dogs.

BrewDog brewery announced the paw-ternity policy that provides all employees with one week off when they bring home a new puppy.

`BrewDog was started by two men and one dog in 2007,` the brewery said in its announcement video. “And we now employ 1,000 people around the world.”

UPI

I commend BrewDog brewery for their dog-friendly workplace, and for their paw-ternity policy that provides all employees with one week off when they bring home a new puppy.

The brewery`s headquarters has 50 office dogs, what an awesome work environment; I can think of at least five co-workers that I wish I could replace with a puppy.

When I adopted a puppy, Mandy, from the Humane Society I took two weeks off from work. That gave my plenty of time to bond with Mandy and housetrain her. It would have been cruel to adopt a puppy, and then go to work, leaving her alone in a new and strange environment.

A paw-ternity policy is a good start, but an employer should also offer its employees pet bereavement leave. When Mandy dies and goes to the Big Dog Park in the Sky, I know I will be too devastated to go to work.

Pet lovers everywhere should support BrewDog Brewery by buying their beers.

Read More:

http://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/02/17/Scottish-brewery-offers-paw-ternity-leave-for-employees-with-puppies/1981487353768/

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Dude Orders Flowers For His Pooch, Wife Not Upset

 

“With Valentine`s Day around the corner, many people are plotting displays of affection for their significant others. But is there any bond that can top the one we have with our pets?

Lily Cardone`s dad, for one, is celebrating the superlative connection he`s got with his dog Sebastian. When flowers arrived at their Florida house, his wife expected them to be for her, but she was sorely mistaken.

Instead, they were a get-well gift for Sebastian, who was recovering from ACL surgery. `Sebastian, Feel better, you`ll be back in the game very soon. Love, Daddy,` it read.”

Refinery 29

I love my pooch, Mandy, but if she was recovering from surgery I wouldn`t send her flowers, for one thing she doesn`t care for flowers judging by the way she tears up the flower bed in my backyard. For another I wouldn`t want my friends and family questioning my sanity.

When the flowers arrived the wife thought they were for her, but she wasn`t upset when she discovered they were for the canine, in fact she posted pics of the flowers and the family pooch on Facebook.

But if this dude ever forgets to send his wife flowers for her birthday or wedding anniversary, I`m sure he will be in the doghouse. I can imagine his wife`s reaction: You sent a flower arrangement to the dog when he was recovering from surgery, but you forgot to send me flowers for our anniversary? Get the hell out of my house, you can sleep in the doghouse the next couple of nights.

Valentine`s day is right around the corner, hmm what should I get Mandy?

http://www.refinery29.com/2017/02/139428/man-orders-dog-flowers

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New Study: Dogs Love Reggae

“The Scottish SPCA and the University of Glasgow have published a paper which suggests music affects dogs` behaviour.

Researchers played a variety of music to dogs at a rehoming centre in Dumbarton and assessed physiological and behavioural changes.

Prof Neil Evans said the most positive behaviour changes were seen when the dogs were played reggae and soft rock.

All though these genres stood out, he said the study suggested each dog had its own music tastes.

The study suggested that dogs spent significantly more time lying and significantly less time standing when music was played, regardless of genre.”

BBC

I always have music playing whether I`m at work, on the road or at home, sometimes I even let music lull me to sleep. My pooch, Mandy, seems to approve of my musical tastes, she`s never barked in disapproval even when I indulge in a guilty pleasure like Abba. Although I suspect she may draw the line at soft rock, fortunately that genre is anathema in my home.

I have a library of hundreds of CD`s, my dog is used to an eclectic mix of music, but Bob Marley`s Greatest Hits is one of my favorite albums, and I play it at least once a week.

Catching some rays in my backyard while Bob Marley blares from my stereo with Mandy chilling by my side, that`s as close to heaven as I`ll get this side of eternity. Surrounded by empty bags of Doritos, the music transports us to a higher plane.

With a decent sound system, a loyal reggae loving pooch, and a stash you can survive a Zombie Apocalypse or the Trump administration.

Read More:

http://www.bbc.com/news/uk-scotland-glasgow-west-38757761

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