Louis the Horse-riding Cat Breaks the Internet! Video!

“Now there’s something you don’t see every day. It’s a cat, riding a horse. Louis the cat and Comet the pony both belong to a professional horse-trainer. They’re good buddies, and often enjoy going on rides in the English countryside. The odd couple sure looks like they’re having fun. After all, what’s better than spending quality time with a friend?”

YouTube Description

There are a gazillion and one videos on YouTube depicting cats doing just about everything under the sun, but this may be the only video depicting a feline riding a horse.

Louis the cat isn’t a side-saddle riding sissy, he is an accomplished equestrian. Perhaps Judge Roy Moore the well known pedophile and amateur horseman can take pointers from Louis on how to properly ride a horse.

It’s surprising that there aren’t more horse-riding cats considering that felines gravitate toward higher perches. My cat Ebony likes to jump on top of my highest bookcase so she can properly survey her domain.

With all the tomfoolery and insanity emanating from the White House, I thought my readers might enjoy this adorable diversion:

 

A TED Talk That Matters: Why Do Cats Act So Weird?: Video

TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an organization which posts talks online for free distribution, under the slogan `ideas worth spreading.`

Most of the TED talks deal with science and technology: Simulation theory, quantum mechanics, artificial intelligence …

If you`re an egghead with a doctorate in String theory TED talks are right up your alley.

But finally there`s a TED video for common folks, and it`s on a subject that everybody can relate to: Cats!

This 2016 video from TEDEd doesn`t feature a boring scientist speaking from a podium, it`s a cutesy animation narrated by distinguished cat expert Dr. Tony Buffington.

This video answers the questions that have perplexed cat lovers since time immemorial:

Why do cats seek higher ground?

Why do they sharpen their claws on your furniture?

Why do they purr?

Why do they love boxes?

Cat lovers might tend to dismiss a ponderous professor, but the adorable animation keeps our interest, and I recommend this video for all cat lovers, regardless if they`re into String theory or just like teasing their cats with a string.

Top Christmas Gifts For Your Cat

I love all the trappings of Christmas: The mistletoe hanging in the office, houses festooned with Christmas lights, carolers serenading commuters, and stockings hanging by the fireplace.

Not everyone has a fireplace, but everybody should hang Yuletide stockings somewhere for all the members of their family, including the four-legged ones.

My cats, Tico and Ebony, have frayed their stockings, they treat them like a scratching post.

Which brings us to the question: What toys should you get your felines for Christmas?

Any Toy That Encourages Your Kitty to be Active

Cats are the laziest creatures on Earth, if my pets find a warm spot, they won`t move until they need to eat or use the litter box. Buy them a cat tunnel or a mechanical mouse that will inspire them to get off their fat butts.

Any Toy That Has Catnip

Humans have their eggnog and a holiday bong, it`s only fair that we provide our kitties with catnip. Your neighborhood pet store has dozens of toys that have catnip stored in them that`s released slowly while your cats are playing.

A Super Deluxe Litter Box

Too many cat owners just buy the cheapest litter box they can find, and keep the damn thing until it falls apart. Is it any wonder that some cats make it a point to defecate OUTSIDE the litter box? At the minimum a litter box should have a lid. Would you feel comfortable taking a crap in a bathroom that doesn`t have a door?

Another Cat

Cats are independent, but that doesn`t mean they enjoy being alone for hours at a time while you are at work. A good idea would be to foster a cat from a shelter, and if it gets along with your furball, adopt it.

Food

You can`t go wrong if you fill your cat`s stocking with his favorite gourmet treats.

If you don`t have a cat, adopt one from your local animal shelter as a Christmas gift to yourself.

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Cat Curled Up in Nativity Scene Captivates Internet

“A New York City neighborhood cat got into the holiday spirit.

The feline was squatting in Jesus` manger in a Nativity scene last Sunday, and photographer Brooke Goldman noticed it while walking her boyfriend to a subway station in the borough of Queens.”

ABC News

There are several Nativity scenes in my neighborhood, and they all feature Mary and Joseph, the baby Jesus and barnyard animals, but not a single one includes a cat.

A Nativity scene that substitutes the baby Jesus with a cat may not be kosher, but in my opinion it would be a purr-fect manger display.

A porcelain doll in a manger scene doesn`t exactly fill me with thoughts of the divine, but a warm kitty nestled in a manger scene fills my heart with goodwill.

I don`t expect most people to trade their baby Jesus for a warm kitten, but I guarantee you will be filled with the Christmas spirit after seeing these pics of the cat curled up in the Nativity scene:

http://abcnews.go.com/Lifestyle/cat-spotted-neighborhood-nativity-scene-delighting-internet/story?id=51649825

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Evil Woman Begs Cops to Shoot Dog Who Was Ripping Apart Her Car’s Bumper

“On Nov. 9 in an apartment parking lot in Dalton, Georgia, a dog went ape-shit on a Dodge Journey (an automobile that falls squarely in the unfortunate category) in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay. The cars owner was livid, and asked a responding officer to shoot the canine.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, can be heard asking the responding officer, Lieutenant Matthew Locke, to use force, saying:

`You can`t throw a rock at him, you can`t do anything?…You could shoot him!`”

Jalpopnik.Com

If I looked outside my window and saw a dog ripping apart the bumper on my car in an effort to catch some cats hiding in the engine bay, my first concern would be for the terrified kitty cats, and my second worry would be that the crazy pooch might injure himself attacking my vehicle.

I wouldn`t even be thinking about my automobile, especially if it was a nondescript freaking Dodge Journey, my car is insured after all.

The car`s owner, Jessica Dilallo, screamed and begged at the police officers to shoot the dog. She could care less that a bullet might kill the cats or a human being, her only thought was that her car was being destroying right before her eyes.

Not to put too fine a point on it, but Jessica Dilallo is a monster who doesn`t deserve to live in civilized society. Diallo should be exiled to an uninhabited island where there are no humans or animals that she can hurt or kill.

Police officers` mandate to “protect and serve” extends to the animal family, and of course they didn`t hurt the hapless pooch.

The Pitbull-mix was taken to a shelter, the owner was identified, and he promised to pay for the damage to the wretched woman`s vehicle.

Read More:

https://jalopnik.com/woman-pleads-with-officer-to-shoot-dog-chewing-up-her-d-1820927006

‘Firefighters and Felines’ Calendar: Perfect Gift for the Cat Lover

“Firefighters and felines.

That`s the theme of a new 2018 calendar coming out of Stanislaus County. The goal? To raise money for the Cat Network of Stanislaus and animal rescues from the North Bay fires. The calendar also lists cats that are looking to be adopted by their `fur-ever` families.”

ABC 10

Firemen are the epitome of machismo, and calendars featuring firemen in beefcake poses is a time-honored tradition. You will find firemen calendars in the kitchens of suburban women, and in the bedrooms of urban gays.

Firefighters and felines are inextricably linked, a firefighter rescuing a kitten from a tree is a cliché, so a calendar featuring burly firemen and cute cats makes purr-fect sense.

This calendar validates the fact that masculine men love cats. I love football, fast cars, beautiful women and cats, and that`s not a contradiction but an affirmation of my innate machismo.

The proceeds from the sale of the “firefighters and felines” calendar benefits the Cat Network of Stanislaus, support this excellent cause and buy a calendar.

Calendars are up for sale at Caldrons Pet Choice: 3507 Tully Rd Suite 80-85 in Modesto.

Read More:

http://www.abc10.com/news/local/firefighters-pose-with-cats-for-2018-calendar-for-purr-poseful-cause/494527822

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Should Donald Trump Read a Book About Cats to Improve His Image?

“Jarosław Kaczynski, the most powerful politician in Poland, read a book about cats during a session of parliament on Friday.

Kaczyński, head of the ruling Law and Justice (PiS) party, was engrossed in `Atlas of Cats: Wild and Domestic` while lawmakers were discussing controversial plans to overhaul the justice system, the Associated Press reported.”

Politico

This is the purr-fect publicity stunt, nothing softens the image of a hard-boiled politician than having him read a book about cats.

I`d rather read a book about kitty cats than participate in a debate about judicial reform.

No politician has a more dreadful image than Donald Trump, his image would improve if he was photographed reading a book about any subject.

Bookworm he ain`t, but maybe he could be persuaded to read something up his alley, “The Cat in the Hat.”

Let`s face it trying to improve Trump`s image is a fool`s errand, the buffoon is more likely to be photographed watching porn images on his Twitter feed.

Read More:

https://www.politico.eu/article/poland-jaroslaw-kaczynski-cat-book-parliament/

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It’s National Cat Day!

Author Terry Pratchett once said, “In ancient times, cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.” Felines have the spark of divinity and we are overjoyed when they deign to pay us mere mortals any attention.

Our modern day religions have failed to meet our spiritual needs, maybe it`s time to worship cats like the Egyptians of old.

Catholicism is a patriarchal religion that condones pedophilia and misogyny, Evangelical Christianity`s infatuation with Trump has deprived it of all credibility, Americans love bacon too much to embrace Judaism, and of course with Islam there`s that kill infidels for Allah thing.

Now that I have offended the followers of every major religion, I assume that only enlightened souls who worship cats are still with me.

Today is National Cat Day, and we must cater to every whim of our feline masters, hmm, that`s pretty much every day for us.

Let`s use this supreme holiday to spread our faith: Tell your friends and neighbors who don`t own cats about the joys and pleasures of owning these divine creatures.

Adopt a kitty, it will change your life and save your soul!

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Why Do Cats Knock Things Over? Because They’re Jerks!

“Cats have their quirks, no doubt. But one of the more puzzling – and annoying – things they do is to knock stuff off tables and shelves.

Do they hate your things? Are they criticizing your home decorating skills? Or are they simply trying to drive us insane?

Truth is, it`s none of those things, although I do believe there might be a touch of vindictiveness in some of that behavior.

Animal experts say there are three reasons for this destructive and sometimes hilarious conduct. They`re bored and want attention, they`re practicing hunting, and they`re hungry.”

The Mercury News

My cats, Tico and Ebony, despise each other, and they avoid each other like the plague.

They don`t eat, sleep or play together, they unite forces only when they seem to be in a competition to see who can knock more things over.

Usually they just flick objects over, like a glass of water that`s precariously perched right on the edge of the coffee table, but Tico, who tips the scales at 25 pounds, sometimes pushes things over the coffee table or an end table.

In other words they don`t accidentally tip things over, they deliberately attempt to break my possessions.

I find cheap knick- knacks aesthetically displeasing, the only small objects that my cats can knock off my table and shelves are expensive crystal figurines. Tico has knocked over, and broken a couple of crystal candle holders, at least the candles weren`t lit.

Tico`s girth prevents him from jumping on top of my tallest book shelves and tables, and Ebony is too old to jump very high, so I place my most expensive objects on my tallest tables and shelves.

Why are my kitties and indeed all cats so destructive? They don`t knock things over to get my attention, they are very independent and barely deign to look in my direction.

They aren`t trying to hone their hunting skills, they know damn well that I will serve them gourmet cat food and treats throughout the day.

Cats are jerks, plain and simple. Adorable and fluffy, but jerks all the same. They knock things over because they are jerks.

Cat lovers have learned how to cat-proof their homes, and we gladly put up with their jerk tendencies.

The last time that Tico knocked something from the coffee table, I just picked him up, and gave him a big hug. Take that you big jerk.

Read More:

http://www.mercurynews.com/2017/09/26/why-does-my-cat-keep-knocking-my-things-off-the-table/

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Denver International Airport Introduces Therapy Cats

“Denver International Airport`s CATS team is no longer only for dogs.

Yeah, we know that seems obvious.

This week, the airport introduced Xeli, the first feline to join the Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

The team is made up of volunteer pet owners and their furry family members, and all pets are registered with the Alliance of Therapy Dogs.

All animals in the program wear vests that read `pet me` and passengers are encouraged to pet or hug them and take pictures.”

Coloradoan

It`s not uncommon to see therapy cats in nursing homes, hospitals and hospices, but now they will be employed where we need them the most, hell aka any airport.

If I don`t make it to heaven, and I`m dispatched to hell I`m sure it will look like a generic airport minus the lake of fire.

TSA goons becoming more intimate with you than your proctologist or gynecologist, fear of terrorists who are anxious to slaughter innocents so they can have an orgy with 40 virgins in paradise, fat passengers who invade your personal space, and fart away like there`s no tomorrow – if that`s not a description of hell, I don`t know what is!

Thank God the Denver International Airport has added felines to their Canine Airport Therapy Squad, or CATS.

When I`m on vacation I miss my dog and cats the most, being able to pet a kitty at the airport would go a long way toward relieving my stress and anxiety. I would no longer regard an airport as hell, because there are no cats in hell.

Cats at an airport is a purr-fect idea, I pray it catches on.

Read More:

http://www.coloradoan.com/story/life/2017/09/29/meet-denver-international-airports-new-therapy-cat/716459001/

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