Farting Passenger Forces Passengers Off Airplane

“A person who `passed gas` on an American Airlines plane on Sunday afternoon forced all passengers off the jet, officials said.

The incident happened when passengers on the flight became ill with nausea and headaches, according to a spokesperson with Raleigh-Durham International Airport.

All the passengers were taken off the plane and after the incident was investigated it was determined that a passenger `passed gas,` the official said.”


After waiting in lines for hours and being groped by TSA goons, passengers finally board their plane, but their nightmare has just started.

A cattle-car affords more amenities than an airplane, where do I start? A seat with ample leg room — for a midget, overhead compartments that are too small to accommodate your luggage, flight attendants with the bedside manner of a serial killer, obese passengers who invade your precious personal space …

Then there`s always that flatulent passenger, and keep it mind that even if the cabin air was fart-free, it`s already germ-laden, rancid, and fetid.

In almost every public setting if you feel that you are about to pass gas, you can always find a restroom where you can fart away to your heart`s content without sickening others.

But an airplane has only one or two bathrooms, and there`s always a line, you have no choice but to let your fart escape to the dismay of your fellow passengers.

To make matters worse the gross airplane meals are guaranteed to make your farts smell like something that could only emanate from Satan`s arsehole.

I can deal with snakes on a plane, and even with jihadists on a plane, but nobody can deal with a farter on a plane.

American Airlines later released a statement that nobody believes:

We did have an aircraft from Charlotte to RDU this afternoon, that landed at 2:19 p.m. ET, and arrived the gate at 2:21 p.m. ET, that is currently out of service for an actual mechanical issue – and odor in the cabin. But It is not due to “passed gas” as mentioned.

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Outrage! AirAsia Pilot Calls on Passengers to Pray Amid Engine Trouble

“An AirAsia flight headed for Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia was forced to turn back to Perth, Australia on Sunday morning following a severe engine problem.

Passengers described the wild ride as being like a washing machine with rapid shaking and rattling following a huge bang that took place around 75 minutes into the six-hour journey. The shaking, framed as something of an engine seizure, was reported to have been so violent that the pilot – even with 44 years of experience – called on passengers to pray.

Passengers were also asked to keep an eye on the engine outside their window, as the pilot did not have a good view from the cabin.

No one was injured during the terrifying trip on the budget airline, although marine emergency services north of Perth were placed on standby in case a water landing was required, Australia`s local ABC reported.”

Fox News

When an airplane suffers a severe engine problem and cabin is shaking like a washing machine it`s perfectly understandable if all the passengers pray, and beg the Almighty for deliverance. If the plane was rocking and rolling I`d be rolling down the aisle and praying like a holy roller on crack.

But the last thing in the world I want to hear from the captain is a request for the passengers to pray, not once, but twice. In effect he was confessing to his passengers that he was scared shi*less, and that they shouldn`t rely on his experience and expertise, but pray for a miracle.

For a pilot to ask for his passengers to pray when things get a little bit dicey is just as distressing if he had shouted “Allahu Akbar!” The only acceptable form of prayer in the cockpit is silent prayer, for a pilot to make any allusion to a higher power is unacceptable, period!

You get what you pay for, if you fly on a budget airline don`t be surprised if the captain asks the passengers to pray and keep an eye on the sputtering engine outside their window.

After all the negative publicity that this captain has brought on AirAsia, this budget airline doesn`t have a prayer of remaining in business for long.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes