Who Is The Donald Trump Look-Alike Buying Lottery Tickets? Video!

“A man buying lottery tickets is setting social media ablaze because he looks exactly like Donald Trump.

Video shows the gentleman, dressed in a plaid shirt and checking out scratch-off lottery tickets, at a gas station convenience store. The presidential look-alike is lighting up social media.”

Inside Edition

This dude is a dead ringer for Donald Trump, from his peroxide blond hair to his pot belly to his tiny hands that he keeps hidden from public view in his pants pockets.

If you looked like Trump`s identical twin what would you do?

Make lemonade out of lemons and monetize your bad luck by becoming a Donald Trump impersonator?

Rob the gas station to finance plastic surgery to change your appearance?

Curse God and die?

Go to a strip club and try to get a free lap dance by pretending you`re the president?

Make a sex video with a crackhead whore and extort Trump?

You can`t rule out the possibility that the gentleman in the video really is Trump; maybe he gets a perverse thrill by dressing like out of his supporters.

I may not have Trump`s money, but thank God I don`t look anything at all like him.

‘Cat Grandpa’ Goes Viral After Pet Shelter Shares Pics of Him Sleeping With Cats

“Terry Lauerman of De Pere has become an online sensation this week after the pet shelter where he volunteers shared photos showing the 75-year-old – who has since been dubbed The Cat Grandpa – fast asleep while snuggling several of the shelter`s cats.

Safe Haven Pet Sanctuary Inc.`s Facebook post about Lauerman has garnered over 80,000 reactions and 22,000 shares since Tuesday afternoon – and those numbers continue to climb. The post also made its way onto social news sites like Reddit and BuzzFeed, and was covered Thursday by Good Morning America.

We are so lucky to have a human like Terry. Terry just came along one day and introduced himself. He said he`d like to brush cats. Eventually it became everyday. He brushes all of the cats, and can tell you about all of their likes and dislikes. He also accidentally falls asleep most days. We don`t mind – Cats need this! Terry is a wonderful volunteer.”

Green Bay Press Gazette

I wish I could post a video or photograph that would go viral, but I`m not as photogenic as a cute kitten, I don`t have any discernible talents, I don`t possess a grotesquely large butt capable of breaking the Internet, and I`m too lazy to learn a trick that will elicit views.

However I love taking naps with my cats, and maybe if I post a pic of Tico, my 25-pound kitty, plopped on my head as I`m taking a nap, we`ll become Internet sensations.

I`m jealous of The Cat Grandpa, he doesn`t clean the litter boxes or perform any other useful service at the pet shelter, all he does is brush the cats and take naps with them, and suddenly he`s a geriatric pimp.


Move over Cat Grandpa, I`m going to dethrone you as the most lovable cat-loving old codger on the Internet.

Snoop Dogg Calls Kayne West an Uncle Tom

It`s de rigueur for rappers to have a nickname: Drake goes by Drizzy, Lil` Wayne answers to Weezy, Eminem is often called Em, and Kanye West is also known as Yeezy.

Kanye West, perhaps to commemorate his transformation from a black man speaking truth to power to an Uncle Tom, now wants to be called “Ye.”

A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, and Kanye by any other name would still stink to high heaven.

Snoop Dogg is not one to mince words, and the Doggfather flat-out called Kanye an Uncle Tom in wake of his Trump-loving coonery.

When a beloved rapper who is true to his craft bestows upon himself a moniker it sticks, Lil` Wayne will forever be called “Weezy” by his fans and BeyoncĂ© will always be referred to as “Bey” by her devotees.

But a trick ass hoe who has betrayed his community has lost the right to christen himself with a nickname.

Kanye West get used to being called an Uncle Tom and worse.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump Cruelly Mocks Christine Blasey Ford: Video

Donald Trump will never hit rock bottom — John McCain isn`t a war hero, Charlottesville and shithole countries were false bottoms — and he`s freefalling down a bottomless pit. His better angels deserted him decades ago, and his seared conscience is his only counselor.

This video perfectly captures the shallowness and depravity of our commander-in-chief. Look at the showman as he stands behind the seal of the President of the United States, and cruelly mocks a survivor of sexual assault.

Whenever Trump looks away from the Teleprompter and the words that were written for him disaster ensues, because then he has only the blackness of his heart to draw from.

If you`re thinking “how could such a low-life buffoon ascend to the presidency?” just look at the bobblehead dolls behind him nodding in approval, and laughing uproariously.

White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders defending Trump`s indefensible display of inhumanity, explaining that he was just “stating the facts.”

Christine Blasey Ford testified before the Senate Judiciary Committee that she will never forget the laughter of Brett Kavanaugh and his friend as they sexually assaulted her, and I will never forget the laughter of Trump`s supporters as he viciously taunted Ford. Remember their laughter when you vote in the mid-term elections this November.

The Christian Broadcasting Network Set to Launch 24-Hour News Channel

“A Christian TV network is entering the crowded world of 24-hour news broadcasting at a time when the mainstream news media is under increasing attack by President Donald Trump and some of his supporters, many of them evangelicals.

The Christian Broadcasting Network`s news channel will provide a religious perspective that other channels lack, CEO Gordon Robertson told The Associated Press in an interview in advance of the network`s formal launch Monday.

The CBN News Channel, to air on local television stations in 15 U.S. cities, will produce original programming and commentary on everything from the power of prayer to Justin Bieber`s faith and Christian persecution in the Middle East.”

Yahoo

The Fox News Channel is the propaganda arm for the Trump administration. The president begins every day by tuning into – and live-tweeting – the network`s morning show, Fox and Friends. I always wondered who the aforementioned friends are, now we know it`s everybody in the Trump regime.

The Fox News evening lineup of Tucker Carlson Tonight, Hannity and The Ingraham Angle are the most vociferous defenders of Donald Trump.

But if you think the Fox News cable outlet is embarrassingly pro-Trump, you ain`t seen nothing yet. The Christian Broadcasting Network`s news channel will launch Monday, and it will make Fox News seem as unbiased as the BBC.

The leading anchor of the news channel will be CBN`s chief political analyst, David Brody, the same objective reporter who co-authored the book, “The Faith of Donald J. Trump.”

Brody will bring his reporter`s notepad and a sack of softballs to his new studio where he will interview Trump administration officials.

The new channel will provide a religious perspective that secular news outlets lack. The evangelical perspective on politics can be summarized thusly: Donald Trump and Republican leaders are on a mission from God to Make America Great Again, and the Democrats, inspired by Satan, are seeking to thwart their divine mission.

My cable providers offers me over 500 channels, and believe me, I won`t be asking them to add CBN`s news channel to their menu.

Read More:

https://www.yahoo.com/news/christian-tv-network-enters-world-183049657.html

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Imagine if Donald Trump and Stormy Daniels Had a Love Child

Melania Trump isn`t unduly upset about her husband`s numerous dalliances with porn stars and Playboy models, after all a trophy wife keeps her eyes on her husband`s bank accounts, and not on his adulterous relationships.

But the First Lady is reportedly furious that Trump showed Stormy Daniels a picture of baby son Barron right before he poked her with is mushroom-shaped baby penis.

Trump wasn`t going to turn on the lady by showing her his dick pics, the least he could do was to put her in a good mood by showing her photos of his baby.

Can you imagine how furious Melania would have been if the one-night stand between Stormy and the Donald had resulted in a baby?

One wonders what the baby would have been named:

Chlamydia if it`s a girl, and Clappie if it`s a boy?

Baby Toadstool

Poopie

Secret

Bigly Bastard

Thank God a baby wasn`t conceived out of that unholy union, he/she would have been destined to be the Antichrist or a carnival barker.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Karen Pence Refused to Kiss Mike Pence After Trump Won the Election

“Karen Pence, the wife of Vice President Mike Pence, spurned her husband and wouldn`t even say hello to President Trump on Election Day 2016 when it became clear Trump won the White House, a new book about the campaign says.

After Pennsylvania was called for Trump giving him the win, Pence moved to kiss his wife, and she turned away.

`You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone,` she said, Michael Lewis writes in his book, `The Fifth Risk,` according to an excerpt published in The Guardian on Thursday.”

The New York Post

Karen Pence, hereafter referred to by her pet name “Mother,” is an evangelical Christian who reportedly was disgusted by Trump`s misogynist comments on the “Access Hollywood” tape. Like any evangelical Christian who hasn`t become inebriated on Kool-Aid she finds the president reprehensible.

As the wife of a veteran politician Mother knows that politics makes strange bedfellows, and she wouldn`t be too surprised if she caught her hubby in bed with a 20-something Bernie Sanders bro.

But when Pence agreed to become Trump`s running mate she must have been sick to her stomach. The Bible warns about being unequally yoked with unbelievers, and she must have imagined that the unholy union between her spouse and Trump sealed their damnation.

On election night when it became clear that Trump won the White House, Pence attempted to give Mother a celebratory kiss, but she rudely rebuffed him, saying “You got what you wanted, Mike. Now leave me alone.”

I doubt that Mike has received anything more than a peck on the cheek from Mother the last two years, and she`s probably permanently shuttered her back door, depriving him of the back door action that he craves.

If Mike doesn`t succeed Trump after impeachment or after the end of his term, I`m betting Mother will swiftly divorce him.

Read More:

https://nypost.com/2018/09/27/karen-pence-wouldnt-acknowledge-trump-after-he-won-election-book/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Donald Trump is a Functional Illiterate

Donald Trump has the grammar skills of a dyslexic fifth grader, and listening to his speeches on a regular basis is guaranteed to knock off twenty points from your IQ.

Trump`s lexicon is as thin as a pamphlet, and it would take an extraterrestrial only a couple of days to learn how to converse with him.

The Stable Genius saturates his conversation with adjectives, but his vocabulary contains only a few adjectives that we have become intimately acquainted with: bigly, huge, beautiful, incredible, and tremendous.

The presidential wordsmith has a penchant for overusing a few annoying phrases: fake news, witch hunt, con job, and his favorite “believe me,” ironic for a pathological liar who is the least believable person in the universe.

The short-fingered vulgarian occasionally utters profanities in public, but by all accounts his private discourse is littered with obscenities. It`s axiomatic that the more grammar-challenged a person is, the more he resorts to vulgarities.

Let me conclude this essay by telling Trump what I think of him in Trumpspeak:

Believe me, you are a fuc*ing moron with a huge propensity for lying and exaggerating. It will be a beautiful day when you are impeached, and removed from office. I can`t wait to christen your grave with golden showers, that will be the most glorious day in history.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes

Is Bongo Cat God?

“Move over Peter Criss, there`s a new drummer cat in town: the Bongo Cat, borne of an unassuming animated GIF where a marshmallowy kitten slaps a table in contentment, has pitter-pattered its way into the internet`s heart. Like any number of feline parasites before it, it`s mutated into strange new forms with time, infecting Twitter with a rare case of wholesomeness and plain old good vibrations.

New York`s Brian Feldman celebrated the birth of the Bongo Cat by tracing its path to online superstardom. The source of all this good cheer is a simple, two-frame cartoon animation by artist @StrayRogue, posted all the way back in early May.”

AV News

Bongo Cat is a minimalist masterpiece, videos and gifs of this crudely drawn kitty playing the bongo drums are all over the Internet. It`s no surprise that a cat has accomplished what Kim Kardashian`s fat butt failed to do, namely break the Internet.

If a bong-playing hippy moved next door to me, I would pay a crackhead $10 to beat his head like a drum. But who the hell doesn`t love Bongo Cat, that`s a rhetorical question, he`s the most beloved feline in the history of the Internet.

How can Bongo Cat not be an Internet sensation? Cats are adorable, and drums are cool!

There`s not that many wholesome things on the Internet, and Bongo Cat is wholesome as fuc*! Very few of my essays can be described as “wholesome,” allow me to make amends by posting this video of Bongo Cat.

Donald Trump Claims He Wanted the UN to Laugh at His Speech

“After he was laughed at on the world stage in an embarrassing moment on Tuesday, President Donald Trump is now claiming that his boasts to the United Nations General Assembly about his accomplishments in office were meant to get some laughter.

CNN`s Jim Acosta reported on Twitter Tuesday afternoon: Trump on laughter at UN during speech: `Oh it was great. Well that was meant to get some laughter, but it was great.`

The room full of world leaders at the General Assembly Hall rippled with laughter on Tuesday after the president claimed in his signature hyperbolic style that his administration `has accomplished more than almost any administration in the history of our country.`”

People

This is a follow-up to my article: Donald Trump Laughed at by UN for Saying His Administration Has Accomplished Most in History

http://thesop.org/story/20180925/donald-trump-laughed-at-by-un-for-saying-his-administration-has-accomplished-most-in-history.html

The United Nations General Assembly is an august body where world leaders pontificate on serious matters, we vividly remember Colin Powell`s speech in 2003 where he articulated his case for war against Iraq.

The General Assembly isn`t akin to the White House Correspondents` Association Dinner where politicians play at being a late-night comic. Trump himself was deadly serious last year when he spoke before the General Assembly and threatened North Korea.

Trump`s boast that his administration has accomplished more than any other administration in history is a joke, but he wasn`t joking when he uttered the absurdity.

Trump`s boast wasn`t meant to elicit laughter, and you can be sure that he was seething on the inside when world leaders laughed at his remark.

Trump probably reamed his speechwriter, Stephen Miller, for including this line which works great at a campaign rally, but is patently ridiculous spoken anywhere else.

Read More:

https://people.com/politics/donald-trump-wanted-un-laugh-speech/

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes