Evangelical False Prophets Lay Hands on Donald Trump in Oval Office

“President Donald Trump, who has remained out of public view since returning from Europe late Saturday, welcomed evangelical leaders into the Oval Office on Monday for a prayer session.


Photos posted by some of the invitees show the group surrounding Trump and laying their hands on his shoulders as his head is bent in prayer.

The picture was posted by Johnnie Moore, a former senior vice president at Liberty University, a large evangelical university in Virginia. It also showed Vice President Mike Pence, with his eyes shut, participating in the Oval Office prayer session.

Moore, reached on Wednesday, said the meeting happened after a number of national faith leaders were invited to meet the President as they met with representatives from the Office of Public Liaison.”


President Donald Trump`s approval rating is stuck near 40 percent and he can`t afford to lose the support of his base, therefore he feels compelled to show respect to evangelical leaders, his most ardent backers.

You`d think evangelicals would only visit the Oval Office to lay hands on the most obscene and vulgar president in our history in an attempt to drive the demons out of the orange bastard. But evangelicals are smitten with the profane clown because he`s appointed a conservative Supreme Court Justice, and he`s attempting to repeal and replace Obamacare. American evangelicals are political animals, and they care more about advancing Republican orthodoxy than they care about preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

It was a regular three-ring circus in the Oval Office, and Vice President Mike Pence was in the mix, praying with his eyes shut. You don`t have to be a prophet to discern what Pence was praying: Dear Jesus please let Trump be impeached, or smite his tiny pecker with a deadly STD.

Witnessing these evangelical false prophets laying their hands on Trump as a way of expressing support of the evil buffoon makes me want to puke. I would love to lay hands on Trump, but I`d better not explain exactly what I mean by that, or I might get a friendly visit by the Secret Service.


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Teen Electrocuted Using Phone While Taking a Bath

“A Texas teen died on Sunday morning after being electrocuted in a bathtub by her cellphone.

Madison Coe`s relatives told KCBD that the 14-year-old girl was either plugging in her phone while in the bathtub or grabbed the phone as it was charging before it fell into the bathtub of her father`s New Mexico home.


A cellphone is a teen`s constant companion, they text while they`re eating, driving and sometimes even while they`re making love. The bond between a teen and his phone is stronger than any human relationship, woe to anyone who comes between a young person and his phone.

I`m not a teen or a millennial, I`m a regular human being, and although I am rarely without my phone, I draw the line somewhere: I don`t use my phone in the bath.

My condolences to the family and friends of this hapless young woman, but her death is a teaching moment. It`s dangerous to text and drive, it`s even dangerous to text and walk, you could walk right into a telephone pole. Charging your phone next to a bath full of water is a brain dead idea.

Moral of this story: Don`t be a wanker, put your phone down and discover life. It`s too late for Madison, but hopefully you will discover that there`s 101 better things to do than texting.

Read More: https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/07/11/texas-teen-dies-from-using-cellphone-while-taking-a-bath/23025320/

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Public Restrooms In China Ration Toilet Paper! Commie Hellhole!

“Officials in a Chinese city are saving money on toilet paper in public restrooms by employing facial recognition technology in the stalls.

The machine uses facial recognition software to identify the user and vends exactly 27.5 inches of toilet paper, the maximum allowed by the machine.


Officials said a user must wait 9 minutes before the machine will allow them to get another length of paper. They said the system has cut the amount of toilet paper used in restrooms by half.”


China is a hellhole where you will find cats and dogs on the dinner plate, lead in every product, MSG in every entrée, and suffocating fog in every major city.

To make matters worse a Chinese city has installed facial recognition technology in public restrooms that identifies the user and vends exactly 27.5 inches of toilet paper. If you need more toilet paper you have to wait nine minutes before the machine will dispense more.

There is no way in hell that 27.5 inches will do the trick for me, and there`s no way in hell that I would wait nine minutes for more toilet paper. In a New York minute I would bust that newfangled machine wide open, and wipe my butt to my heart`s content.

I could care less if the facial recognition software captured my act of vandalism, let those commie bastards know that Americans aren`t going to put up with that kind of bullshi*!

In America we wipe our rear ends until they are sparkling clean, even if it means we use the entire roll of paper.

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Donald Trump Jr. Retweets Video of His Moron Dad as a Top Gun Pilot

“Donald Trump Jr. apparently shares his father`s affinity for violent CNN-related fan fiction.


A fierce defender of his father`s administration, Junior posted edited `Top Gun` footage depicting The Donald sitting in the cockpit of an aircraft shooting down a fighter jet bearing the CNN logo.

In the video, Trump mutters his catchphrase, `You`re fired,` before releasing a missile that makes the CNN logo dramatically explode. Trump Jr. shared the footage on both his Instagram and Twitter, labeling it `the best I`ve ever seen.`”


Donald Trump and his entire family has a deep aversion to CNN and any other news outlet that reports the news objectively. The only major news network that meets Trump`s expectations (fawning coverage) is the Fox News Network, and he watches the “fair and balanced” cable station religiously.

CNN made the cardinal sin of reporting the truth about the Trump`s penchant for lying and obfuscation, and he doesn`t miss an opportunity to belittle the well-respected news organization.

Last week Trump retweeted a video of himself pummeling a man whose face was superimposed by the CNN logo, apparently Junior wasn`t pleased with the ferocity of the backlash, so he tweeted an even more offensive video.

The video that Trump Jr. shared is ridiculous, I can imagine Donald Trump piloting a yacht, a hot air balloon and even a blimp, but Trump as a Top Gun pilot? Are you freaking kidding me?

If a military jet pilot of any country saw the orange-faced freak flying a military plane, he would blast it out of the sky, thinking it was an extraterrestrial freak from Uranus.


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Man Proposes to Girlfriend While Being Arrested: Video

“It was a surprise unlike any other this Fourth of July for some Muskogee police officers and one lucky lady.

Police body camera video captured Brandon Thompson being arrested for six felony warrants on his birthday.

`When the other officer told me he was gonna propose I think my initial response was, are you kidding me?` said Lincoln Anderson, Muskogee Police Department spokesman.

`Oh my gosh is he serious? But I knew I was gonna say yes. Like I love him a lot. We go through our ups and downs. I guess it`s like an unconditional love, you know?` said Leandria Keith, bride-to-be.”


I`m 60-years-old and I`ve never been arrested, but I freely admit that I`ve broken the law more than a few times. But a character with six outstanding felony warrants is a habitual criminal, and the only way to prevent him from committing crimes is by keeping him incarcerated.

In this video when Thompson is being arrested somebody in the background is washing the family car, being arrested by the police is evidently nothing to get unduly exercised over.

The reporter for NewsOn6.Com refers the bride-to-be as “one lucky lady,” this lucky lady can look forward to a lifetime of bailing her hubby out of jail.

Leandria is most likely used to seeing her man jailed, she probably already had a care package (Top Ramen and a giant jar of Vaseline) prepared for him.

What a heartwarming ghetto fairy tale …

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Libraries are Seedier Than Flophouses and More Dangerous Than Prisons

“The Denver Police Department has begun patrolling the Central Library, amid a spike in drug use and illegal activity that has been the focus of heightened scrutiny in recent months.

Library officials are crediting the increased police presence and other safety measures with a significant decrease in illegal activity this summer. The downtown library has also added cameras, increased waste clean-up around the building and stocked overdose kits on site to treat patrons.”

Denver Post

I grew up in a small two bedroom house with three sisters and a brother, the only places where I could find peace and quiet were the church and the library. I didn`t have a religious bent, therefore the library became my refuge.

My family was too poor to afford an encyclopedia, in the pre-Internet age the only place where I could expand my mind was the library. The library`s customers were my kind of folks, geeky scholarly types.

Today`s library attracts an entirely different kind of people: Homeless clad in feces-encrusted and urine-soaked pants, jobless perverts browsing porn sites for free, and millennial trash taking advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

Who would have thunk (certainly not Baby Boomers) that libraries would become seedier than flophouses and more dangerous than prisons. A library with surveillance cameras and armed security is an abomination.

Because of political correctness libraries have opened their doors wide to perverts, homeless and drug users. Thank God for the Internet, a respectable nerd like me has no need to visit these hellholes.

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Cat Manicures? Give Me a Break!

“There are times we take matching fashion trends a tad bit too far, and this is probably one such instance. After Mother-daughter matching dresses, not to forget the age-old tradition of siblings – especially twins – being dressed alike, we now have fashion conscious pet owners getting their cat`s paws manicured and painted to match their own!

No kidding!

Though there is very basic problem with this trend, which is that nail polish should not be used on the claws of your pets because of the polish`s toxicity. However, there is a way out and doting pet owners have embraced with with perfectly manicured hands – nail caps. People have found out these nail caps to attach to their cat`s claws and then get matching nailpaint.”

Indian Express

I love cats, and I don`t spare any expense lavishing my kitties with toys and treats, and I can understand a cat lover obsessing over his or her beloved pets.

But I draw the line at a cat lady painting her feline`s claws to match her nails. A cat with manicured claws doesn`t look cute or attractive, it looks repulsive and freakish.

I would never let a woman style my hair to match hers, and I would never let her paint my cat`s claws to match her nails. I would kick that psycho bitc* to the curb, and never let her come anywhere near my babies again.

This is a deplorable trend that makes both cat lovers and cats look ridiculous.

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Pringles Announces limited Top Ramen-flavored Chips! Marriage Made in Hell!

“Canned potato chip brand Pringles has teamed up with Japan`s Nissin Top Ramen for an exclusive ramen-flavored chip.

The collaborative Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Flavor Pringles will be available exclusively at Dollar General stores for a limited time beginning at the end of July.

`Pringles flavorologists worked closely with Nissin to pop the top on a classic noodle dish and bring the fan-favorite Top Ramen Chicken Flavor to life on a Pringles crisp,` Pringles said in a press release. `The result – a crisp that tastes like Nissin Top Ramen Chicken Flavor right out of the bowl.`

The unusual chips will also retail at a special price of $1.50 per package, in reference to ramen`s reputation as a thrifty meal.”


Top Ramen is a prison staple and an integral pat of the diet of starving college students.

Top Ramen is the most popular item in the prison canteen, convicts know a thousand and one ways to prepare the instant noodles. Ladies, if your new boyfriend salivates over the Top Ramen in your pantry, he`s an ex-con, and next thing he will be looking at your brother with lust in his eyes.

When college kids blow their discretionary income on weed and pizza, they will hit their stash of Top Ramen. Every college dorm room has a bong, condoms, a laptop and a stash of Top Ramen.

I`ve never been incarcerated and Top Ramen wasn`t popular when I was in college, but there`s been a few times in my life when I`ve been down and out, and I`ve resorted to eating Top Ramen.

Pringles don`t have the texture or flavor of potato chips, they taste like Styrofoam and you have to slather them with hot sauce or ketchup they make them edible. Top Ramen-flavored Pringles is a snack that only Satan himself would enjoy, even inmates and college students wouldn`t defile themselves by eating this abomination.

Read More: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2017/07/07/Pringles-announces-limited-Top-Ramen-flavored-chips/8611499451263/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=3

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Poland’s First Lady Refuses to Shake Hands With Donald Trump

“Donald Trump has only been in office for six months, but he already has a streak of awkward handshakes-or in this case, snubs-with world leaders. As the president and First Lady were greeting the Polish President Andrzej Duda and his wife, Agata Kornhauser-Duda, in Poland on Thursday, Kornhauser-Duda appeared to pass over the president and instead shook Melania Trump`s hand.

The video, which quickly went viral, shows the president turning toward Kornhauser-Duda for a handshake as she swiftly walks by him. Trump looks bewildered at this apparent rejection. (She did, later, shake the president`s hand after all.)”

Vanity Fair

Whenever Donald Trump meets a foreign dignitary you can count on two things: He will babble incoherently and he will botch the handshake. Is it any wonder that foreign leaders will do anything to avoid shaking hands with the idiot?

The Polish president`s wife was looking straight ahead at Melania when Trump offered to shake her hand, it wouldn`t be surprising if she failed to see his deformed little hand in her peripheral vision, but I think the slight was intentional.

Why would any civilized person want to shake Trump`s hands, God only knows what part of Putin`s body his diminutive hands were intimately caressing.

I might fist bump with Trump, but I would never shake hands with him. In fact, I`d rather punch his ugly orange face, even if it means that the Secret Service would riddle me with bullets, rather than shake hands with him.

Link to video: http://www.vanityfair.com/style/2017/07/first-lady-of-poland-avoided-donald-trump-handshake

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Donald Trump Says Mexico Will ‘Absolutely’ Pay for Wall

“President Donald Trump is still insisting that he wants Mexico to pay for the wall he wants to erect on the U.S.-Mexico border.

Sitting next to Mexican President Enrique Pena Nieto at the G-20 summit in Germany, Trump told reporters Friday that he “absolutely” wants Mexico to fund the barrier. The pair made comments ahead of a bilateral meeting that included Trump`s top economic advisors.

Trump`s statement about the wall came in response to shouted questions from reporters after the leaders made statements, so it is unclear if Pena Nieto responded specifically to Trump`s wall comment.”


During the election whenever Donald Trump wanted to elicit an enthusiastic response from a crowd he would promise to erect a wall between Mexico and the United States, and he would insist that Mexico would pay for it.

Since his election, every once in a while, Trump still makes perfunctory remarks about building the wall, but he has bigger fish to fry, namely trying to get his execrable health plan passed and dealing with all the Russia-related scandals.

Even his base knows that there`s a snowball`s chance in hell that the wall will be built, and and even slimmer chance that it will be financed by Mexico.

Mexico will erect a three inch phallic monument in honor of Trump before they pay for the damn wall. Trump is expending zero energy trying to get the wall built, but he doesn`t like admitting mistakes, and so he still pretends he`s serious about building it.

Trump should give up his pipe dream of building the wall, and focus on renegotiating NAFTA with the Mexican president.

trump Read More: http://www.cnbc.com/2017/07/07/trump-absolutely-still-wants-mexico-to-pay-for-border-wall.html

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