Donald Trump Signed The D-Day Proclamation In The Wrong Place

stable Genius

“Of course, Trump was unlikely to let arguably the single most momentous and traumatic day of fighting of the 20th century upstage him. He was one of 15 world leaders to sign a special D-Day proclamation reaffirming the importance of co-operation and peace, but took the opportunity to remind everyone in Europe who’s the best by completely forgoing basic letter-signing decorum. Nothing says ‘We affirm that it is our shared responsibility to ensure that the unimaginable horror of these years is never repeated’ quite like scrawling your name at the top of a proclamation to show you’re actually the best.”

Esquire

After almost two and a half years in office, Donald Trump has signed myriad executive orders, and you’d think that the stable genius would know that important documents are signed at the bottom.

But it’s probably not ignorance as much as narcissism that compelled the fucking moron to scrawl his signature at the top of the proclamation.

He wanted his signature to stand out, and he didn’t want the name of any of the European leaders to be in close proximity to his own. Just to me sure his signature stood out, he did a John Hancock.

I guess we can’t rule out that the buffoon thought that “D-Day” stood for “Donald Day”, and his autograph deserved a place of honor.

Dear Lord what a moron! Some patriot should tie his tiny hands so he can’t tweet or sign anything.

Read More: https://www.esquire.com/uk/latest-news/a27881494/donald-trump-signed-the-d-day-proclamation-in-completely-the-wrong-place/

It’s a Sin for White Evangelicals to Pray that God Protect Trump

“First of all, then, I urge that supplications, prayers, intercessions, and thanksgivings be made for all people, for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may lead a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.” — 1 Timothy 2:1-2

For generations Christians, including evangelicals, interpreted this admonition from the Apostle Paul as a directive to pray that their political leaders were guided by the wisdom of the Almighty. Even in authoritarian states where Christians were persecuted, they prayed that their dictators might bend to the will of God.

These prayers were uttered in the same spirit of a beauty queen contestant’s pontification on world peace during the interview segment of the beauty pageant. No one believes that a beauty queen’s soliloquy on peace will bend the moral arc of the universe toward peace and justice, and no Christian really believes that his supplications for political leaders will have an effect on their morality and adherence to Scripture.

But in the 1970’s with the rise of the Moral Majority, white evangelicals started to equate spirituality with the Republican Party, and instead of praying in a general sense for wisdom for political leaders, they prayed that the Congress and the president would uphold the family values of the GOP: anti-abortion, anti-women, and pro guns, a strong military and prayer in public schools.

Being pro-Republican is so ingrained in evangelical thinking that they now embrace a thrice married real estate huckster and serial sexual predator who became president by demonizing immigrants and palling around with white nationalists.

When white evangelicals intercede with the Almighty on behalf of Trump they don’t pray that he repent of his racism, intolerance and mean and petty ways, they pray that God would defend him from his enemies and bring his racist policies to fruition.  

And they really believe in the efficacy of their prayers, they are persuaded that God is blessing their false Messiah, and his mission to make America Great Again.

We can be faithful to Paul’s teaching to pray for those in high positions without selling our souls to an extreme political ideology. Simply put: If a president’s policies and rhetoric are antithetical to the message of love and peace of the Gospels pray for his repentance, and if he rules with compassion and understanding, pray that God continues to bless him.

But thoughts and prayers and two bucks won’t get you a cup of coffee at Starbucks, vote the short-fingered vulgarian out of office in 2020.

The Old Stumbling Bumbling Joe Biden Returns

For the first six weeks of his campaign, Joe Biden largely drifted above the fray, a front-runner beyond the reach of the masses of the Democratic presidential field. His rivals publicly welcomed him into the race, and not a cross word was said about his moderate policy proposals or his advanced age.

For the first six weeks of his presidential campaign, Joe Biden engaged in a Hillary-like campaign: relaxing comfortably above the fray he barely deigned to acknowledge the existence of his myriad rivals.

His competitors publicly enthusiastically welcomed him into the race, and they treated him with the dame deference that functionaries in North Korea treat Kim Jong-un.

The heresy that Democratic presidential hopefuls shouldn’t speak ill of one another lest they weaken the eventual nominee had taken over the Democratic Party.

But politics ain’t beanbag, in fact it’s not even dodge ball, it’s a WWE Battle Royale where entertainment may be the name of the game, but the contestants suffer real physical injuries.

Miraculously, Biden survived the first six weeks of his campaign without suffering a major blunder, primarily because he barley campaigned and didn’t grant any interviews.

But you can always count on Biden to be Biden, and this week the real bumbling and stumbling Biden surfaced, and his opponents were quick to pounce.

In an unforgivable flub, for someone whose 1987 presidential run was derailed because of plagiarism, his campaign was forced to confess to plagiarizing a portion of the climate change plane he released this week.

On this same fateful week Biden reaffirmed his support of the Hyde Amendment – a measure banning federal funding for most abortions that’s universally opposed by his Democratic challengers – he reversed himself a couple of days later, saying he no longer supports the controversial measure.  

Biden’s rivals from the joke candidates like Rep. Seth Moulton (D-Mass.) to serious challengers like Sen. Elizabeth Warren were quick to attack him.

Enough with the kid gloves treatment, if Biden is to survive the Democratic Primary (which I doubt), a little roughing up by his rivals will do him good.

Don’t Ring My Doorbell!

“Have millennials killed the doorbell? People admit they’re ‘too scared’ to answer the ‘aggressive’ ring – and don’t open the door to visitors unless they TEXT.”

Daily Mail

I have watched too many flicks where a knock on the door or a doorbell ring is a prelude to mayhem and murder, and I regard a knock on my door or a doorbell ring as an assault on my safety, privacy and security.

Not that I get many unwanted visitors, the “no soliciting sign”, the four “beware of dog” signs and the alarm company decals tends to discourage Jehovah’s Witnesses, salespersons and brats selling candy to raise money for school activities.

When contractors, friends and family members visit me, they send me a text when they arrive at my home, or they honk the horn (I know really ghetto but not as intrusive and invasive as a doorbell.)

In fact, if it weren’t for doorbell camera systems doorbells would have become extinct by now.

The last time someone knocked on my door, the sun had already set, and without looking to see who it was, I shouted “What the hell do you want?” I didn’t hear a reply and there was no second knock. If you come to my little pink house, think twice before knocking!

Read More:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-7107379/Have-Milennials-killed-doorbell-People-admit-theyre-scared-answer-aggressive-ring.html

Move Over Trump Baby Blimp, Here Comes the Farting Trump Robot

“Thousands of Brits took to the streets here Tuesday, where they marched alongside a 16-foot farting robot of Donald Trump and held aloft huge photos of John McCain in an attempt to trigger the president.”

Daily Beast

During Donald Trump’s visit to the UK, the inflatable caricature of Trump (universally known as Trump Baby) was flown in protest of his racism, bigotry, and xenophobia. Basically the blimp is a protest against everything foul that Trump represents.

The balloon which has achieved iconic status was first flown over Parliament Square, London on July 28, in protest of Trump’s first visit to England as president.

Trump Baby has a presence on all the major social media platforms, and he is so popular that he has made appearances at anti-Trump demonstrations in Paris, Buenos Aires and other major cities, and replicas of the beloved blimp have flown over hundreds of anti-Trump rallies all over the world.

Move over Trump Baby, a new Trump protest symbol made its inaugural appearance this week in London. The Trump farting robot sits atop his golden throne (a golden toilet) with a smartphone in his tiny hand. It emits farting noises and the mantra “no collusion.”

I favor the realism school of art, therefore I would have filled the toilet bowl with real excrement, and given Trump’s penchant for golden showers I would have poured urine all over the work of art. But at least the creator, Don Lessem, kept things real my making his penis only three millimeters.

I’ve grown in love with Trump Baby, and I don’t think the Farting Trump Robot will become quite as popular, but kudos to the Brits for being so inventive and creative.

Read More: https://www.thedailybeast.com/donald-trump-in-britain-thousands-of-brits-protest-presidents-visit-alongside-16-foot-farting-robot

Donald Trump Shocks the World With New Hairstyle

On Sunday Donald Trump attended a service for victims of the mass shooting in Virginia Beach sporting a new hairdo.

This is earth shattering news, first of all the evangelicals’ darling attends church only on Easter and Christmas, and secondly he never changes his hairstyle.

Trump’s urine-colored weird hairstyle is his trademark, and he’s never been known to deviate from his peculiar look.

Trump arrived at the church straight from his real place of worship, the golf course, wearing a baseball cap, and some argue that Trump wasn’t trying out a new look, and that he was simply suffering from a case of “hat hair.”

By the time Trump landed in London on Monday he had returned to his signature look that we hate so much.

With his slicked back hair Trump looked normal, we’re talking used car salesman normal, televangelist normal, or creepy old dude trying to look normal,  but somewhat normal nevertheless.

I guess it really doesn’t matter what hairstyle he dons, his mouth still looks like a sphincter, his complexion is still orange, and he still has two or three chins, depending on how many burgers he eats on a given day.

Pic of Trump’s new hairdo:

https://www.thedailybeast.com/hairstylists-react-to-donald-trumps-slick-american-psycho-hair?ref=scroll

It’s in White Evangelicals’ DNA to Worship Donald Trump

It’s axiomatic that white evangelicals worship Donald Trump, but let’s examine why this is the case:

White evangelical ministries, for the most part, aren’t hierarchical organizations like the Catholic Church where the local parish priest has to answer to his archbishop, cardinal and of course the infallible pope. Franklin Graham, Pat Robertson, Joel Osteen, Kenneth Copeland and Creflo Dollar aren’t restrained from their wildest impulses by a board of deacons, they answer only to themselves. They justify their most outlandish pontifications, by claiming that the Almighty is speaking through them.

It’s in white evangelicals’ DNA to worship an authoritarian figure like Trump, who disparages the coequal Judiciary and Congress and pretty much does damn well as he pleases.

Evangelical leaders aren’t challenged by their followers because they preach the inspired an infallible Word of God, never mind that Christianity is a Byzantium religion with thousands of denominations, each one with their own unique interpretation of scripture. Trump speaks with the authority of a televangelist, and his sycophants accept everything he says as the Gospel truth even though he’s a pathological liar.

Evangelicals have a binary world view: Christians and sinners. Likewise Trump supporters have a binary belief system: There’s them and then there’s everyone else: liberals, feminists, abortionists, homosexuals, globalists, climate change fanatics …

Evangelical ministers are prone to making crazy promises, “Give to my ministry and I will build the biggest cathedral, the largest university in the world”, all for the glory of God of course. “Give us your tithes and offerings and we will convert the heathen lands of China and Russia”! Trump supporters swallow the buffoon’s incredible claims like: I will build a beautiful 30-foot concrete wall from sea to shining sea.

Evangelical ministers strip their followers of their money and self-respect and in return provide them with a superficial faith that doesn’t sustain them in difficult times. Ditto Trump.

Racist Donald Trump Won’t Swap Harriet Tubman for Andrew Jackson on $20 Bill

The American dynasty was built by the English invaders on the slavery of Africans and the genocide of the indigenous population, and centuries later these two races still lag far behind the white ruling class.

For a short time during the Barack Obama administration we dreamed that we were living in a post-racial society, but the election of Donald Trump has crushed those fantasies and brought us back to reality.

Trump is loath to see even symbolic acts of racial progress, thus he directed his Treasury Secretary to postpone the unveiling of the Harriet Tubman $20 bill until after he leaves office.

The Tubman bill was an Obama administration initiative, and Trump is determined to undermine every initiative and law of the first African American president.

And let us not forget that Tubman would replace the notoriously racist Andrew Jackson on the $20 bill, the same bastard responsible for the Indian Removal Act:

At the beginning of the 1830s, nearly 125,000 Native Americans lived on millions of acres of land in Georgia, Tennessee, Alabama, North Carolina and Florida–land their ancestors had occupied and cultivated for generations. By the end of the decade, very few natives remained anywhere in the southeastern United States. Working on behalf of white settlers who wanted to grow cotton on the Indians’ land, the federal government forced them to leave their homelands and walk thousands of miles to a specially designated “Indian territory” across the Mississippi River. This difficult and sometimes deadly journey is known as the Trail of Tears.

https://www.history.com/topics/native-american-history/trail-of-tears

There is no way in hell that Andrew Jackson a vile racist would be replaced on the $20 bill by Harriet Tubman, a former slave, abolitionist and founder of the Underground Railroad on the watch of the blatantly racist Trump.

Anybody who still thinks Trump isn’t a racist is a liar or a fool.

It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Soils Himself on Live TV

“It’s Only a Matter of Time Before Trump Shits Himself. Frankly, I’m shocked it hasn’t happened already. We have a president who regularly shows signs of mental decline: He regularly forgets people’s names and places. He makes up words. This much is clear—there will quite likely come a time when our president shits himself, probably on TV, for all to see.”

Splinter/Katherine Krueger

Trump’s mouth looks remarkably like a sphincter, and watching him speak is like watching a porn video for freaks with a sphincter fetish. Nothing but crap flows from his mouth, and whenever I hear him speak I feel like taking a shower afterwards.

But I concur with Krueger that it’s only a matter of time before the stable genius shits himself. Trump is like a ticking bomb full of crap: there will be a detonation and the shit will hit the fan. You don’t have to be a professional gambler to know that the odds are in your favor that the obese septuagenarian who eats crap every day will sooner rather than later shit himself on live TV.

The man-baby probably stains his drawers in private every day. Mike Pence doesn’t just wash his mouth after kissing his boss’s bunghole, I bet he’s tasked with washing the feces stains from the sofas and chairs in the White House.

The short-fingered vulgarian has already besmirched the presidency beyond redemption, and it won’t be much of a shock to anyone when the inevitable happens and he suffers the mother of all wet farts in public.

White evangelicals will claim that the stain in clown’s rear end is the likeness of Jesus, and Nancy Pelosi will hold her nose and insist that it’s still not time to impeach the incontinent demented moron.

In other words, it will just be another day in the Trump White House when the crazy old buffoon soils his diapers.

Read More: https://splinternews.com/it-s-only-a-matter-of-time-before-trump-shits-himself-1835071094

Nancy Pelosi Stop Dithering Around and Impeach Donald Trump

“I pray for the president of the United States. And I pray for the United States of America.”

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi

Pelosi uttered these words after Donald Trump threw a temper tantrum and stomped out of meeting with Pelosi and Senate Minority Leader Chuck Schumer to discuss a grand infrastructure deal. Trump was furious that shortly before the ill-fated meeting Pelosi had accused him of being engaged in a cover-up.

Trump drives some people to pray and others to curse, but it’s impossible to remain neutral about the most corrupt administration in history.

Allow me to parse Pelosi’s statement:

I take issue with the Speaker stating that she’s praying for the president of the United States, she should have said that she’s worried about the office of the president of the United States.

I refrain from referring to Trump as president, he’s not my president as he’s made it abundantly clear that he cares only about his base. He’s an illegitimate president who won the election with help from the Russians, and he’s never made the transition from firebrand populist campaigner to a statesman worthy of being called president.

I also take exception to Pelosi mixing religion and politics, doing so only further cheapens both corrupt institutions. I don’t believe in Trump’s border wall, but I do believe in the wall that separates church and state.

I don’t care if Pelosi, or any politician, prays to Jehovah, Lucifer or Tinky Winky, she would be well-advised to keep her religious sentiments to herself.

In these perilous times we need action, not thoughts and prayers, and the only action that makes any sense is impeachment. Pelosi is a master politician who knows how to get under Trump’s skin, the goal shouldn’t’ be to rattle the fucking moron, but to impeach him.

Pelosi calculates that if the House impeaches Trump, that the Senate would never remove him from office, and the controversy would only motivate his base and lead to his reelection.

Of course the Republican-led Senate would never remove him from office, but I doubt that his base can be any more motivated than they are now. If Trump shot Schumer in the well of the Senate, Republican Senators still wouldn’t impeach him and his base would still vote for him.

Trump must be impeached to demonstrate that no man is above the law, not even the president. He must pay a price for his high crimes and misdemeanors.