New Restaurant Opens in Iraq: Trump Fish

“A Donald Trump-themed restaurant-one that`s not owned by the president-elect himself-just opened in the heart of Iraqi Kurdistan. Called Trump Fish, its specialty is carp, which comes grilled or fried.

Local businessman Nadyar Zawiti picked the name after hearing Trump`s promises to arm Kurdish forces to help defeat ISIS, he told CNN.”

Slate

The Trump-themed restaurant is a homage, not a mockery, Kurds love the blowhard billionaire almost as much as the Russians, because of his promises to arm Kurdish forces.

I have better choices for the specialty of the house:

Orange Roughy

This would be perfect, an orange fish that belongs to the slimeball family. What is Trump if not an orange slimeball?

Puffer Fish

This toxic fish defends itself by filling its elastic stomach with water (or air when outside water) until it`s much larger and imposing. Another perfect choice — Trump is toxic and full of hot air.

Jellyfish

A marine creature that doesn`t have a brain or a sexual organ? Perfect description of micro-penis Trump.

Seafood doesn`t have a long shelf life, customers of Trump fish would be well-advised not to bring any doggie bags home. Trump doesn`t have a long shelf life either, he`s not president yet, and I`m already sick and tired of his buffoonery.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: http://twitter.com/robertpaulreyes