Gay Lovebirds Engage in Epic Fight: Assault With Cup of Top Ramen Noodles!

“A Florida man was arrested for domestic battery after striking his live-in boyfriend with a cup of ramen noodles, police report.


Michael Herrick, 40, and his beau got into a verbal argument at their residence in regards to questions of infidelity.

The 12:30 AM dispute in the couple’s Pinellas Park home turned violent when Herrick threw a cup of ramen noodles at the victim, who was struck in the neck by the noodles. Herrick, cops noted, said that ‘water was thrown on him’ prior to his noodle tossing.

After cops concluded that Herrick was the incident’s primary aggressor, he was arrested for domestic battery. The 6’ 7”, 200-pound Herrick was booked into jail on the misdemeanor count and released from custody yesterday afternoon on his own recognizance.”

The Smoking Gun

You’d expect a flurry of brutal punches and a savage kick or two to be delivered in a fight involving two guys, especially considering one of the men was 6’7”, and tipped the scales at 200-pounds.

But when the cops arrived at the scene of the epic fight, the combatants didn’t have any bruises, abrasions or broken bones.

One of the lovebirds was slightly wet — his boyfriend had the temerity to toss a paper cup of water at him. The other gentleman was clutching his neck; his boyfriend had the audacity to hurl a cup of noodles at him.


After the cops were finished snickering they arrested the dude who threw the cup of Top Ramen noodles, he was judged to have been the instigator.

The police officers should have lashed these two jokers with a wet noodle for wasting their time.

I’m not gay, not that there’s anything wrong with being gay, but if I was freaking gay I wouldn’t call the cops if my boyfriend assaulted me with a cup of Top Ramen noodles. I would be too ashamed of living up to the stereotype of gay men being deplorable sissies.


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