Donald Trump’s Cabinet Meeting: An Exercise in Kissing Ass

“Leave it to Donald Trump to reinvent the Cabinet meeting.

The public portion of these gatherings of all of the president`s top advisers are usually staid affairs. Photographers are let in to take pictures. The president makes a very brief statement. A reporter shouts a question, unanswered. The end.

Donald Trump did something very different in his Cabinet meeting Monday
Once Trump finished touting his administration`s accomplishments, he turned to several of his newly-minted Cabinet secretaries like Agriculture Secretary Sonny Perdue. Each of those Cabinet secretaries lavished praise on Trump, which he accepted without comment but with a broad smile.

At first, I thought Trump was just going to have the new members of the Cabinet spend a few minutes praising him. NOPE! It soon became clear that Trump planned to have every Cabinet member speak. And when I say speak what I really mean is praise Trump for his accomplishments, his foresight, his just being awesome.”


This has now become standard practice in the Trump administration, whenever the president makes a big announcement or celebrates an accomplishment, he first has a few flunkies from his cabinet or administration offer laudatory remarks of his royal highness.

I`m surprised he didn`t call on Sean Spicer to powder his nose, kiss his ass, and shine his shoes.

Whenever I see Trump with officials from his administration I`m reminded of North Korea`s Dear Leader, his sycophants always appear as if they are enthralled to be in the presence of deity.

It would restore my faith in humankind if one of his cabinet members had simply told the truth:

Serving in your cabinet has been the most humiliating experience of my life, you demand loyalty, but offer none in return. You will throw us under the bus without hesitation if it serves your purposes. Before I`m emasculated to the point where I`m incapable of making love to my wife, I quit. See you later, you orange freaking fascist.

Whenever Trump`s advisors and administration officials act so obsequiously toward their Fearless Leader, it doesn`t make him look better, it just makes him look like a narcissistic buffoon totally lacking in self-confidence.

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Donald Trump is a Habitual and Pathological Liar

“People have got to know whether or not their president is a crook. Well, I`m not a crook.”

Richard Nixon

Nixon made the infamous declaration during a press conference in Orlando, Fla., amid charges related to the Watergate break-in and subsequent scandal.

History proved that Nixon was a fundamentally flawed and crooked person, and facing certain impeachment and removal from office he resigned in disgrace.

Donald Trump often prefaces his remarks by stating “Believe Me,” kind of ironic considering he`s the most untrustworthy president in history.

People have a right to know whether or not their president is a liar, and anybody with a modicum of common sense can come to only one conclusion: Donald Trump is a pathological liar.

Trump is a habitual liar, and sometimes he lies for no obvious reason. His default mode is permanently stuck on liar liar your pants are on fire.

List of some of the most egregious Donald Trump lies:

Trump is in a world of trouble, he`s facing claims that key members of his campaign and transition team had improper contact with Russians. There`s compelling evidence that he pressured the FBI director to drop the investigation of Mike Flynn.

Trump would need a deep reservoir of good faith with the American public and Congress to escape these serious charges without being impeached. Even Republicans in Congress have expressed doubts about his veracity, it`s almost inevitable that he will eventually be impeached.

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Firefighters Rescue Woman With Leg Stuck in Toilet

“Firefighters in China rescued a woman who was trapped in a bathroom when her leg became stuck in a toilet for six hours.

Firefighters said the woman was freed after about six hours of rescue attempts.”


This story begs the question: Why did the lady stick her leg in a toilet? Was she trying to unclog her toilet? That`s disgusting, ever hear of a plunger, lady?

If you were stuck in the same predicament what would you do? I would never, under any circumstances, stick my leg in a toilet. But if an evil fairy hypnotized me and ordered me to do the unthinkable, I would be too embarrassed to call 911.

I`d rather stay stuck in the toilet for days until I lost so much weight that I would finally be able to free my leg.

One more question, why the hell did it take the clueless firefighters six hours to free the hapless lady? If I lived in China and my cat was stuck in a tree, I`d never call the emergency number. It would take too long for the fools to figure out how to save my kitty, and they might just eat if they were able to reach it. I would just climb the dam tree myself.

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Batman (Adam West) Dead at 88!

I found out on Facebook that Adam West, who played Batman in the 1960`s television series, died at age 88. This essay is an appreciation of the Batman character, and not the actor of whom I know very little about.

Today there`s hundreds of satellite, cable, and network shows devoted to the world of celebrities, and not to mention millions of entertainment Web sites. Celebrities have taken over the TV, Internet and social media, there`s saturation coverage of every aspect of their lives. We`ve seen Kim Kardashian`s naked butt that almost broke the Internet, and Amber Rose displaying her hairy vagina and masquerading as a feminist hero. We`re numb; we`ve seen too much, Dear Lord we`ve seen too much.

Adam West is of a more innocent and simple time, Pre-TMZ, Pre Entertainment Tonight we knew very little of the private lives of celebrities.

I was a precocious child who liked Frank Sinatra and enjoyed PBS programming, not the stellar children`s shows but the nature and political programs. I may have been wise beyond my years, but the ten-year-old version of me was oblivious to the camp aesthetic of the Batman series.

The Batman series was a drama to my innocent mind, and even if there had been a laugh track, it would have struck a discordant note. My childish mind would have wondered “why are people laughing at the thrilling adventures of Batman and the Boy Wonder?”

It`s impossible to understand America without immersing yourself in pop culture. American pop culture is triumphant, it`s our greatest export. We don`t have an identity separate from pop culture.

But even in the 1960`s pop culture had an outsized influence, most of my childhood is a blur but I remember two incidents connected to Batman.

My mother was the disciplinarian in our home; she was a fervent believer in corporal punishment. My brother and my three sisters were the usual victims of my mother`s tender mercies, but I didn`t escape childhood without a few beatings.

I can only remember one time that my mother tried a method besides beating to punish me. I don`t remember what transgression I was guilty of, but my mom punished me by making me sit in the kitchen while my brother and my sisters were watching Batman in the living room. The walls in our tiny house were so thin that I could hear the audio, with every BAM, POW and ZAP I pictured my hero beating the hell out of the dastardly criminal of the week. Not being allowed to watch Batman stung more than the most brutal and sadistic of my mother`s beatings.

The other incident was at recess, I jumped down stairs, startling a little girl who exclaimed: You scared me, I thought you were Batman. That was one of the few times that the nerdy kid with glasses and acne felt like a hero.

As an adult I have become quite enamored with camp, so much so that I feel like an honorary gay man. I sometimes watch Batman, incredulous that as a child the camp style was way over my head.

A part of my childhood died today, farewell Caped Crusader!

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Kirsten Gillibrand Drops F-Bombs Like a Sailor! Blame Donald Trump!

“Sen. Kirsten Gillibrand swore like a sailor while blasting President Trump during a speech at New York University on Friday.

kirsten `Has he kept any of these promises? No. F-k No … If we are not helping people, we should go the f-k home,` she told a crowd at the Personal Democracy Forum, according to CNN.”

New York Post

Gillibrand has a history of using colorful language in public, nevertheless this is another example of how Donald Trump has coarsened political discourse. In the Trump era even “family values” politicians feel emboldened to spice up their speeches with as many expletives as scripture references.

Gillibrand`s liberal use of F-bombs may signal that she`s planning on running for president in 2020, thanks to Trump we don`t think a politician is being himself unless he sprinkles his speeches with obscenities.

Prior to Trump expletives and mildly offensive words like “pussy” only appeared in online publications, but now they appear in staid publications like The New York Times and The Washington Post.

In Gillibrand`s defense it`s impossible to talk about Trump and his policies without resorting to swear words. When talking with my friends and colleagues I usually refer to Trump as an orange f**k or a f**king Nazi.

It would be bad enough if Trump`s biggest sin was contributing to the coarsening of or culture, but his biggest crime is desentizing Americans to the needs of migrants, the poor and racial minorities. Under the Trump administration it`s become acceptable to bash immigrants, people of color and the poor and disadvantaged.

F**k Trump and his f**king inhumane policies. It`s time to impeach the F**king bastard!

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John McCain is Senile and He Should be Forced to Retire

“Rep. Brad Sherman (D-Calif.) was in disbelief during Sen. John McCain`s questioning of James Comey – and it showed on his face.

McCain (R-Ariz.) argued Comey has a double standard for publicly announcing Hillary Clinton was cleared of any criminal wrongdoing for her email server investigation, whereas President Trump has not been publicly vindicated by him.
Comey explained Clinton was cleared because the email server case was completed, whereas the separate Russia investigation involving Trump affiliates is nowhere near complete, so a conclusion cannot yet be made.”

New York Post

The star of the Senate Intelligence Committee hearing investigating Russia`s meddling in the election was the former Director of the FBI, James Comey.

The forensic nature of Comey`s contemporarily written memos which he released the day before, coupled with the calm, confident and measured demeanor in which he delivered his verbal evidence laid out a clear and compelling case that President Donald J. Trump is guilty of obstruction of justice.

The court jester of the hearing was Sen. John McCain, his questioning of Comey provided compelling evidence that the senator from Arizona is suffering from dementia. McCain conflated the Hillary email server scandal with the investigation of Russia`s hacking of the DNC. McCain seemed to think he was in the Benghazi hearing investigating Hillary.

What`s scary as hell is that McCain was recently elected to his sixth Senate term, we can look forward to six more years of the octogenarian`s demented rants in the Senate. McCain is running out of Muslim countries he wants us to attack, tomorrow he might urge us to got to war against Canada.

McCain blamed his bizarre questioning on staying up late for the Arizona Diamondbacks baseball game. With all due respect Senator, you are just senile.

The hearing left me convinced that Trump should be impeached, and that McCain should be forced to retire.

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Adorable British Kids Criticize Donald Trump: Video

Chelsea interviews some of Britain`s youngest voters on their knowledge about POTUS, and their answers couldn`t be more spot on. Among some of the key takeaways? Donald Trump owns a wig closet, has orange skin, and is racist. Now THAT`s not fake news.

YouTube video description

I have read dozens of articles by scholars criticizing Donald Trump`s troubling personality and his incoherent policies in detail with footnotes and annotations.

But you don`t need to be a political science major, or even an adult, to discern that there is something seriously wrong with Trump.

These adorable British children intuitively realize that Trump is a fuc**d up wanker. Chelsea Handler asks little Charlie what he knows about Trump, and he responds: Well, for start, he`s got an orange face. Charlie knew that Trump`s orange face was indicative of a serious psychological disorder. Nobody is his right mind is going to slather his face with fake orange tan, the president`s orange complexion is an outward manifestation of a sick mind.

Then Charlie added: I know he doesn`t like people with brown skin. Any adult with a modicum of common sense will quickly deduce by examining Trump`s policies and statements that he`s a blatant racist. But even a child will instinctively sense that he is a bigot.

Trump has been put down by intellectuals, stand-up comics, and political commentators, but never more adorably than by these British school kids.

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America Wants Donald Trump to Stop Tweeting

“President Donald Trump may insist his tweets are a way to get his honest and unfiltered message out,” but a majority of voting Americans – including Trump`s supporters – say he should spend less time on Twitter.


According to a new Morning Consult poll released Wednesday, more than two thirds of voters – 69 percent – say Trump uses Twitter too much, compared to just 15 percent who say he uses it about the right amount and only 4 percent who say he should tweet more.”

US News and World Report

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist or a political science major to deduce that Donald Trump spends far too much time on Twitter. In fact, according to a new poll 69 percent of voters say Trump uses Twitter too much. Four percent say Trump should tweet more, these morons also probably think he should apply more orange fake tan.

The results of this poll beg the question: What activity should Trump engage in instead of Twitter?

Enroll in an adult education remedial English Class

Call Jenny Craig

It should be explained to the bastard that he shouldn`t call to flirt with her, but to enroll in a weight-loss program. After Trump gets over the hump and loses 40 pounds from his belly and he can see his tiny pecker for the first time in decades, it will motivate him to lose a hundred more.


Trump isn`t limber enough to do any of the classic Yoga positions, but it might mellow him out just a tad.


This game might be too complicated for Trump, but if Betsy DeVos agrees to give him a full body massage wearing only a “Make America Great Again” hat if he does well he might be inspired to become a Sudoku master.

Practice for the US Citizenship Test

I`m persuaded that this a-hole who wants to deport everyone who isn`t white would flunk the test.

Take up cutting

He could take up cutting himself as a mechanism to relieve stress, maybe we would all get lucky and he`ll cut his jugular.


Give the wanker a shiny new fishing pole and let him fish in the toilet bowl

Train for running marathons

Tell the buffoon that all once he has suffered a stroke or a heart attack he will be ready to participate in a marathon.

As you can see there must be a million and one more productive ways to spend your time, other than on Twitter. Send me your suggestions.

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Theresa May Should Withdraw Her Invitation to Donald Trump for a State Visit

“Benny Hill music, inflatable chodes, kazoos? Now Trump`s insulted Sadiq Khan, let`s get truly British and welcome the US President with a festival of piss-taking.

Does there remain a single potential act of idiocy that, by this point, would surprise any of us were it committed by Donald Trump? Trump`s latest attempts to smear the London mayor, Sadiq Khan – while the latter leads our city through the aftermath of a painful terrorist attack – are simultaneously beyond the pale and tediously par for the course.

As ever, Trump cakes his bigotry in the camp maquillage of false concern for the city and its inhabitants, when it`s clear that this man is incapable of human empathy, and has, furthermore, seemingly chosen to attack Khan so vehemently because he is a Muslim.”

The Guardian

These eloquent words were written by Rhiannon Lucy Cossslett, a London-based freelance writer for the British publication, The Guardian. This article is proof that DonaldTrump is anathema not only in the halls of Congress, the television studios of journalists, and the kitchen tables of everyday Americans, but everywhere in the free world as well.

I will throw away my dog-eared thesaurus and instead bookmark Cosslett`s article: Inflatable chodes, cakes his bigotry in the camp maquillage of false concern, festival of piss-taking! I hope that now my friends and colleagues will understand why I`m an unabashed anglophile, reading an editorial written by an English reporter is nirvana.

In the last couple of years I`ve written over a hundred anti-Trump essays, but my rhetoric has never matched the eloquence of Cosslett. I hope that her dream will come true, and that the golden showers-loving freak will be welcomed with a festival of piss-taking by the genteel people of the United Kingdom.

Trump clearly chose to insult Khan because he`s a Muslim. See my article: Racist Donald Trump Attacks Mayor of London

Speaking of Khan Cosslett writes: London had the clear-sightedness to elect this humble, compassionate man as our leader. So true, and it`s equally true that America had the short-sightedness to elect an arrogant, heartless man as our president.

The British Prime Minister Theresa May should heed Khan`s advice and withdraw her invitation to Trump for a state visit.

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Racist Donald Trump Attacks Mayor of London

Hours after London was hit by an Islamic terrorist attack, Sadiq Khan the Muslim mayor of London, announced:

Londoners will see an increased police presence today and over the course of the next few days. No reason to be alarmed — one of the things the police and all of us need to do is make sure we`re as safe as we possibly can be.

The mayor was reassuring his constituents that the police were doing everything they could to protect them, and that they shouldn`t be alarmed by the increased police presence.

Whenever an ally of America is hit by terrorism the president immediately issues a statement expressing solidarity and concern. I`m not a politician or a speechwriter, but I could have written a statement for Trump:

My heart goes out to the victims and their families and friends in London. No act of terror can shake the strength and resilience of our British ally. They will maintain a stiff upper lip, stay calm and carry on.

Instead Trump attacked the mayor of London during his time of crisis, he mischaracterized his words in a loathsome tweet:

At least 7 dead and 48 wounded in terror attack and the Mayor of London says there is “no reason to be alarmed”

Of course the mayor was telling the citizens of London not to be alarmed by the increased police presence, he wasn`t telling them not to be alarmed about terrorism in general.

Why did Trump attack the mayor of London in a time of crisis, when England is our closest ally? I can come to no other conclusion, but that it has everything to do with the mayor`s ethnicity and religion. Trump has a history of attacking people of color, witness his previous victims of his toxic tweets:

Gold star parents Khizr and Ghazala Khan

U.S District Judge Gonazlo Curiel

Former Miss Universe Alicia Machado

Univision anchor Jorge Ramos

Trump`s blatant racism is causing division and strife in the homeland and destroying our relationships with our allies. It`s time to impeach the racist bastard.

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