Mike Pence Wants to Expedite Capital Punishment for Mass Killers! What a Genius!

“The Department of Justice has drafted legislation that would expedite capital punishment for those found guilty of mass killings, according to a top Trump administration official.

Vice President Mike Pence’s chief of staff Marc Short told reporters Monday that the veep’s policy team has been working with Attorney General William Barr on the death penalty bill, which will likely be part of a larger gun control package the White House will try to sell to Congress amid a wave of shooting massacres, including the latest rampage in Texas that killed seven people.”

New York Post

The British landed on Plymouth Rock, and they quickly expanded their outpost to include most of the North American continent. How could they not prevail against the indigenous American tribes with God, and Manifest Destiny on their side? Surely the Jehovah of the Old Testament who commanded the Israelites to slaughter the Canaanites in order to occupy the Promised Land would grant them immunity to wipe out the Indians in the name of Jesus Christ and capitalism?

America was founded on blood and violence and to this day violence reigns supreme thanks to God-fearing Christians who make a fetish out of the 2nd Amendment.

Gun violence could be diminished if Congress expanded background checks, and outlawed assault rifles and high-capacity magazines, but instead Republicans rely on thoughts and prayers. How’s that working?

Now Mike Pence and the Department of Justice are really making a farce out of trying to stamp out mass murder by drafting legislation that would expedite capital punishment for those found guilty of mass killings.

Never mind that most mass killers commit suicide after quenching their blood thirst or commit suicide by cop.

I will sleep well tonight knowing that the thoughts and prayers of conservative Republicans and the excellent plan of Pence to expedite capital punishment for mass killers will stamp out the scourge of mass killings.

The Age of Trump

There has never been a time in the history of our Country that the Media was so Fraudulent, Fake, or Corrupt! When the “Age of Trump” is looked back on many years from now, I only hope that a big part of my legacy will be the exposing of massive dishonesty in the Fake News!

Donald Trump

This tweet could only have been written be a semi-literate narcissist who views life through the prism of reality TV.

Even Franklin D. Roosevelt, who served four terms, wouldn’t have the audacity to refer to his tenure in office as the “Age of Roosevelt.”

The Trump administration has been marked by dozens of scandals, hundreds of toxic tweets, and thousands of lies, and it may feel interminable, but four years doesn’t qualify as an “age”.

I’m surprised that a megalomaniac who lives in the moment is aware that he’s living behind a legacy. Trump’s legacy won’t be the exposing of supposed dishonesty in the media, but the dishonesty that’s endemic in his administration. And not to mention his racism, incompetence, misogyny and buffoonery.

Trump is a master of projection, he rails against the media because it exposes his corruption, mendacity and fraudulent behavior.

Many years from now we will wonder how we survived the four-year tenure of an incompetent, vulgar, racist, misogynist, and homophobic buffoon.

Trump Statue Erected in Melania’s Home Country Slovenia

A wooden statue of the US president has been built in his wife’s home country of Slovenia, dividing opinion there.

The nearly 8m (26ft) tall statue was constructed on private land and depicts Donald Trump with a square head and jaw, raising his fist in the air.

BBC

Another artist carved out a sculpture of Melania out of a tree trunk, it was erected just outside of her hometown of Sevnica. The Melania statue is wearing a blue coat with a club-like hand gesturing to the sky. Critics of the controversial work of art say it makes her look more like a Smurf than a First Lady.

I think it’s prudent to deduce that not everybody in Slovenia is thrilled that Melania, who made an honest living as a model with a penchant for appearing in nude lesbian photo shoots, shamed her homeland by marrying a crooked real estate developer who is now the most corrupt and racist president in the history of the United States.

The stable genius is a blockhead; therefore, I take no exception with the creator, Tomaz Schlegl, depicting Trump with a square head, but the statue’s square jaw bears no resemblance to the real thing’s double chin.

When triggered, a mechanism opens a red-painted mouth and shark-like teeth appear. Again, I’m dissatisfied with the artist’s rendering of the short-fingered vulgarian, the statue’s normal-looking mouth bears no resemblance to his sphincter-like piehole. And as far as I know there aren’t any dentures that look like shark’s teeth.

The statue has a temporary permit and must be removed by Halloween, Oct. 31. Hopefully it will be moved to Washington, D.C, where it will scare the citizens, but not as much as the monstrosity sitting in the Oval Office.

Happy 5-Year Anniversary to Obama’s Tan Suit

The Trump administration is a toxic swamp; when the short-fingered vulgarian isn’t cozying up to a dictator he’s demeaning and degrading a trusted ally. Every day Trump posts a shocking tweet to make the electorate forget about the scandal du jour. Every Cabinet member is either embroiled in a scandal or lying to cover up a Trump scandal.

It’s no wonder that folks look back with nostalgia at the scandal-free Obama presidency. But we forget that there was one scandal that roiled the Obama administration, five years ago today Tan-Gate almost led to Obama’s impeachment.

Obama had the temerity to wear a tan suit to a White House briefing: fashionistas sensibilities were offended, pundits were outraged, and evangelists wondered if it portended the End of the World.Lou Dobbs called it “shocking”, while Republican congressman Peter King said it represented Obama’s “lack of seriousness” in the wake of recent ISIS attacks.

When Obama donned the infamous tan suit created by the late tailor Georges de Paris conservatives reacted as if he’d dressed like a pimp from a 1970’s blaxploitation flick.

How I wish Obama was still the president, he has more integrity in his pinkie than the vulgar racist buffoon has in his entire obese body.

Stable Genius Donald Trump Wants to Nuke a Hurricane

Stable Genius

According to unnamed sources Donald Trump asked top Homeland Security officials whether the United States could bomb a hurricane to stop it from hitting the country.


This isn’t the premise of a Saturday Night Live skit, an Onion headline, or a joke by a late-night comic, this is what passes for real life in the reality TV series known as the Trump administration.

I can imagine the stable genius proposing this brainiac idea in the Situation Room:

Donald Trump:

Hurricanes start forming off the coast of the shithole country of Africa, as they’re moving across the Atlantic Ocean, or is it the Pacific Ocean or maybe Lake Erie, let’s drop a nuclear bomb inside the eye of the hurricane. That will blind the hurricane and it won’t know which direction to move and maybe it will make a U Turn and kill a bunch of darkies instead of God-fearing Americans. We have thousands of nuclear bombs, and we’re just wasting them by not using them! Nuking a hurricane will make your favorite President’s ratings to go through the roof! In fact, let’s show Mother Nature who’s boss and let’s put out the Amazon rainforest fires with a couple of nuclear bombs. Talk about changing the narrative, the Fake News will forget all about Climate Change. Obama never nuked no hurricane! Everyone will agree that President Trump is greater than Obama after I start nuking hurricanes, forestfires and whatnot. Speaking of Obama let’s nuke Kenya for good measure. Well what do you guys think? Am I the big hands President or What? Mike! That’s your cue to praise my brilliant plan. WWJD?


Mike Pence:


Sir, Jesus would ride on top of a nuclear-tipped Cruise Missile and blow that hurricane to smithereens! I praise the Lord for blessing us with such a wise and intelligent leader.

Acting Director of Homeland Security:


Brilliant plan Sir! I humbly suggest that we until a Category 9 hurricane develops, that way you will get even more credit for adverting disaster.

Acting Assistant Director of Homeland Security (whispering to the Acting Director of Homeland Security):

Great save boss! That fucking moron doesn’t know the Hurricane Wind Scale is a 1 to 5 rating based on a hurricane’s sustained wind speed.

Iceland’s Prime Minister Snubs Mike Pence

Iceland’s leader has announced that she will skip U.S. Vice President Mike Pence’s visit to her Nordic nation, opting instead to keep ‘prior commitments’ by attending a trade union conference in Sweden.

Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdottir said that she’s planned for months to give the keynote speech for the Council of Nordic Trade Unions’ annual meeting in Malmo, Sweden, on Sept. 3 — the day before Pence’s arrival. She has no plans to return the following day for his visit.

TIME

Iceland’s Prime Minister Katrin Jakobsdottir is my favorite leader of a foreign country, because she’s a dead ringer for Susan Dey circa 1970 and she’s no fan of the Trump administration.

The beautiful Prime Minister announced that she will skip Mike Pence’s visit to her country, citing a prior commitment to speak at a trade union conference in Sweden the day before the VP’s arrival.

It should be noted that Sweden is only about 1,000 miles from Iceland, but I take it she wouldn’t walk across the street to meet Pence.

Jakobsdottir is a leading crusader for abortion rights, LGBT rights and climate change, it’s not surprising she doesn’t want anything to do with the likes of Mike Pence.

Pence is getting an icy reception in Iceland, maybe the mayor of Reykjavik will deign to meet with the hapless vice president of the United States.

Read More: https://time.com/5658037/iceland-pm-skipping-pence-visit/

Joe Biden: If You’re Concerned About My Age Don’t Vote For Me! Don’t Worry I Won’t!

Former Vice President Joe Biden appeared to dismiss voters concerned about his age, telling them not to vote for him in the 2020 Democratic primary race. ‘I say if they’re concerned, don’t vote for me,’ Biden said while speaking to reporters in Keene, N.H. When a reporter told Biden that voters he talked to were wondering if the former senator from Delaware had lost a step, Biden answered: ‘What do you think?’

Fox News

When a man who’s almost 77-years-old, especially if he’s running for the most stressful job in the world, asks if you think he’s lost a step, It’s not a rhetorical question.

Any septuagenarian has lost more than just one step in terms of physical agility, stamina and mental acuity. It’s not ageist to conclude that advanced age alone is reason enough not to vote for a presidential candidate.  

I would be terrified at the prospect of a septuagenarian serving as a School Crossing Guard, due to his impaired vision he might guide children to cross the street under unsafe circumstances. I’m horrified at the prospect of a man who will be almost 80 when he assumes office having his trembling hand anywhere near the nuclear button.

The Democratic frontrunner has committed several gaffes recently that have pundits, fellow politicians and regular folks wondering if he’s fit for office. Granted, Biden is a self-admitted gaffe machine, but the verbal slip-ups are increasing in frequency.

For example, when Biden asked the reporter if he thought he’d lost a step he was in New Hampshire, but he thought he was in Vermont.

I’m concerned about Biden’s sharp mental decline, and I’m taking his advice and not voting for him.  

Read More: https://www.foxnews.com/politics/biden-reportedly-tells-voters-not-to-vote-for-him-if-theyre-concerned-about-his-age

I Hereby Order Donald Trump to Shut His Pie Hole

“Our Country has lost, stupidly, Trillions of Dollars with China over many years. They have stolen our Intellectual Property at a rate of Hundreds of Billions of Dollars a year, & they want to continue. I won’t let that happen! We don’t need China and, frankly, would be far better off without them. The vast amounts of money made and stolen by China from the United States, year after year, for decades, will and must STOP. Our great American companies are hereby ordered to immediately start looking for an alternative to China, including bringing our companies HOME and making your products in the USA.

Donald Trump 

Twitter is a toxic wasteland where trolls, con artists and trifling little men with a Napoleon complex issue ridiculous and unenforceable edicts, therefore it isn’t surprising that a vain narcissist like Donald Trump would thrive in such an environment.

As President of the United States and the putative Leader of the Free World Trump has a lot of power, but he isn’t a dictator and he doesn’t have the authority to hereby order American companies to leave China.

The stable genius employed the archaic adverb “hereby” in a patently foolish attempt to lend a sense of credence and gravitas to his pronouncement on social media, but he succeeded only in looking like an emperor with no clothes bragging about his royal outfit.

America is a democracy and not a dictatorship with a state-run industry, and Trump can’t order a privately held business to do anything. Trump may have imagined himself to be the king of the private sector when he was a real estate developer, but now that he’s president he presides over the public sector and is powerless over the private sector.

Trump is such a buffoon, I hereby order him to kiss my arse!

Donald Trump Declares Himself ‘the Chosen One’

The Chosen One

Donald Trump declared himself “the Chosen One” as he defended his administration’s actions in the interminable U.S.-China trade war debacle. The self-anointed stable genius is choking on his declaration that trade wars are good and easy to win.

“President Trump is the greatest President for Jews and for Israel in the history of the world, not just America,…and the Jewish people in Israel love him like he’s the King of Israel,” tweeted the megalomaniac  quoting Wayne Allyn Root, a conservative radio host best known for promoting conspiracy theories.

You don’t have to be a stable genius or a rocket scientist to recognize that Trump’s trade war with China, negotiations with North Korea, and hostilities with Iran are going to end in apocalyptic doom.

The more things turn to shit, the more grandiose titles Trump bestows upon himself. When a North Korean intercontinental ballistic missile destroys New York City or an Iran EMP attack renders America impotent and defenseless, Trump will declare himself Almighty God.

Trump may be a Messiah and the King of Israel to evangelicals, and a stable genius to the trailer park crowd, but to the rest of America and the world he’s a brazen racist, fucking moron, pathological liar and a short-fingered vulgarian.

We can only pray and hope that Trump will be defeated in 2020 and replaced by a Democrat who will take the office of the presidency seriously, and happy to just be called a decent and moral president.

Donald Trump Will Never Replace Bobble-Head Doll Mike Pence With Nikki Haley

“President Donald Trump said Sunday he was very happy with Vice President Mike Penceand planned to keep him as his running mate in the 2020 election.”

AOL
Trump judges the worthiness of a person solely on his loyalty to him, and Pence is the perfect second-in-command, he’s loyal, deferential and obsequious.

Whenever Trump makes an important announcement, Pence is placed behind him to serve as a bobble-head doll. The VP bobs his head up and down as he stares adoringly at his better half.

A bobble-head doll’s head is oversized compared to its body, but its huge head doesn’t indicate the presence of a big brain, indeed a bobble-head doll is synonymous with a blockhead idiot.

In political circles Pence may be referred to as a bobble-head doll, but everyday folks are more likely to use the street vernacular, chicken-head. According to the Urban Dictionary, a chicken-head is a woman who likes giving head, bopping up and down like a chicken.

Any way you slice it, Pence is Trump’s bitch, and just like a chicken-head will never get a sore neck from servicing her man, the VP will never tire of nodding his fool head of regardless what obscenity or absurdity emanates from the president’s sphincter-shaped mouth.

Pence doesn’t have to worry about Trump replacing him with Nikki Haley or anyone else, at least as long as he’s never cured from bobble-head doll syndrome.