Purr-fect Valentine’s Day Gift for a Cat Lady: Cat Foot Socks

It`s not easy buying a Valentine`s Day gift for a cat lady, they prefer cat-themed gifts, but they already own every cat related object in the world.

Maybe you can buy her chocolates that contain catnip, but they might make her horny, so unless she`s really hot forget about it. Is there such a thing as a hot cat lady?

Leave it to the country where Hello Kitty was conceived to come up with the perfect gift for the cat lady in your life: socks made to look like cat feet.

These socks made in Japan are the purr-fect gift for a cat lady!

“They`re made to actually look like striped cat feet, even down to the fine details of the fur and the shapes of the toes. On the bottoms of the socks, you can even see the little paw pads and toe beans!”

These damn socks are so realistic that it will make the cat woman in your life look like a giant cat.

That`s scary as hell, maybe you`d better give them to her on Halloween/

Joe Biden Belongs in a Nursing Home for Retired Politicians

Dinosaur

In reaction to the Neanderthal conservative policies of the Trump administration the Democratic Party has embraced progressive ideas (Medicare for all, the legalization of marijuana, the Green New Deal, free college tuition and punitive tax rates on millionaires) that are anathema to a moderate bipartisan consensus builder like Joe Biden.

This isn`t your fathers` Democratic Party, and there is no room for the likes of septuagenarian Biden, certainly not as a presidential candidate.

Time and demographics have rendered Biden politically obsolete, he`s too old, too moderate, and most importantly too white to lead the Democratic ticket. Consider the leading Democratic candidates for president:

Sen. Cory Booker: African American and closeted gay?

Pete Buttigieg: openly gay veteran.

Sen. Elizabeth Warren: White and .00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent Cherokee.

Sen. Kamala D. Harris: father Jamaican and mother Indian.

Beto O`Rourke: White, but young and energetic, and at least he has an Hispanic nickname.

Sen. Bernie Sanders: White as can be, damn even his hair is snow white, but he`s a Democratic Socialist.

Sen. Amy Klobuchar: as moderate as Biden, but at least she`s a female.

Andrew Yang: Don`t know anything about him other than he`s Asian.

Where does Biden fit in this field of Democratic candidates for president? He doesn`t. Period. End of story!

Let me give you an example of how out-of-touch Biden is, in a speech this week before the Unites States Conference of Mayors he referenced Adlai freaking Stevenson. There`s not a millennial alive who knows Jack about Stevenson.

Unless Biden comes out as gay or transgender he doesn`t have a prayer.

Hell Will Freeze Over Before I Buy a Joe Biden Scented Candle

Crazy Joe Biden

“What do Joe Biden scented candles smell like?

Certainly not Joe Biden, unless he walks around smelling like an orange all the time.

The $22 candles are the best-selling item at the Delaware History Museum in Wilmington, regularly selling out thanks to still-strong home state `Joementum` even nearly two years after the former vice president left office.”

Delaware Online

Candles are romantic and they remind me of a simpler time, but I don`t buy any because I have a kitten whose hobby is knocking things over for the sheer hell of it.

But a Joe Biden scented candle isn`t evocative of romance and love, it conjures up images of decomposing corpses. I doubt you`ll see any Joe Biden scented candles at a brothel or a nightclub.

If a Joe Biden candle really smelled like its namesake, it would reek of an old man`s fart, Preparation H and soiled adult diapers.

Actually Joe Biden candles have the aroma of oranges; the only fruit I associate with Biden is a lemon.

I might plunk down a couple of bucks for a candle that smells like Tom Brady, I`m assuming that the legendary quarterback has the scent of his supermodel wife all over him. But hell will freeze over before I spend $22 for a candle that smells like Joe freaking Biden.

Read More:

https://www.delawareonline.com/story/entertainment/2018/11/01/joe-biden-scented-candles-museum-other-swag/1830497002/

A 2020 Joe Biden Presidential Run Would be a Disaster

Pedophile

Joe Biden missed his chance in 2016, as the sitting vice president he was the heir apparent to Barack Obama. When a president finishes his second term, the vice president usually has a clear shot to be the General Election candidate for his party, potential candidates defer to him, and unless he royally screws up they`re content to cheer from the sidelines.

But Biden didn`t have the cojones to challenge Hillary Clinton, and he used the excuse of the death of his son not to run. I realize that the death of his son was a traumatic experience, but working folks are usually back to work within a week after the death of a son, daughter or spouse.

At the age of 76 Biden is considering a third run for president, and at first glance he appears to be the ideal candidate:

He`s experienced, he served as vice president under Barack Obama for eight years, and he was in the Senate for 26 years. After witnessing the chaos caused by having an inexperienced buffoon in the Oval Office the electorate is yearning for a statesman.

He`s well-liked by the general population and by politicians from both parties. After the 2016 election when the two least-liked candidates ran against each other in the General Election, Americans want to vote for someone they like and admire.

He`s a moderate with a bipartisan appeal, he`s not going to scare anyone like a Bernie Sanders or an Elizabeth Warren.

His poll numbers look great against Donald Trump, and above everything else Democrats want a candidate who can beat Trump.

But a 2020 Biden presidential run would be a horrible idea. The third time would not be the charm, in his two previous campaigns his personality and his message failed to resonate with Democrats.

He may be experienced but he`s way too old, he`s not the crazy uncle in the attic, he`s the crazy great-grandfather in the nursing home.

Biden may be well-liked but the gaffe-prone politician would quickly become a tiresome bore on the campaign trail. We like him as a second banana, but we don`t like the prospect of him sitting in the Oval Office.

Biden is a moderate, but this is the age of the progressive in the Democratic Party. The party belongs to the likes of AOC and Kamala Harris, and it wants nothing to do with moderates like Joe Biden or Amy Klobuchar.

Biden may have terrific poll numbers, but that`s due almost entirely to name recognition. After a month on the campaign trail his ratings would plummet, and he would become a third-tier candidate, like in his previous runs.

The Democratic presidential candidates are as diverse as the voters they seek to represent, and there is simply no room for an old (really old) white candidate with moderate views.

I`m not saying Biden should be put out to pasture, but he should be looking for a retirement home in Florida and not contemplating campaigning in Iowa.

Dr. Sean Conley Says Donald Trump in Very Good Health! Poppycock!

“On Friday, the president made a four-hour visit to Walter Reed National Military Medical Center where his doctor, Sean Conley, performed his check-up with 11 other specialists.

In a statement, Conley said Trump `is in very good health and I anticipate he will remain so for the duration of his Presidency, and beyond.`”

Huffington Post

When you are a spokesperson, in any capacity, for a pathological liar the truth will seldom emanate from your lips. In the last two years we`ve witnessed how Donald Trump`s primary spokesperson, White House Press Secretary Sarah Sanders, spins and stretches the truth in an attempt to make sense of Trump`s contradictory and nonsensical statements.

Everyone in the Trump administration who has spoken on behalf of the president has lied to make the fuc*ing moron appear to be a rational person, if not quite a stable genius.

It should come as no surprise that Trump`s physician, Sean Conley, issued this statement:

“I am happy to announce the President of the United States is in very good health and I anticipate he will remain so for the duration of his Presidency, and beyond.”

You don`t have to be a physician or a stable genius to deduce that an obese septuagenarian with a history of heart disease, who never exercises and eats fat food on a regular basis isn`t long for this world.

With all due respect, Dr. Conley is a lying piece of crap and his medical license should be revoked.

The only question is what`s going to kill Trump first, the release of the Mueller Report dismissed as a “nothing burger” by his supporters or the zillionth hamburger that finally stops his ticker.

Read More:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trump-physical-exam-results_us_5c5fc94ae4b0910c63f13435

White Evangelicals are an Affront to God and Anathema to our Democracy

“The Bible, especially the King James Version, is great literature, a moral authority for a troubled world, and evangelicals consider is the inerrant Word of God.

Anybody who`s read the Bible will concur that it`s a literary masterpiece, and most Westerners will agree that it provides solid moral guidance, but most people don`t believe that it`s the literal Word of God because they are outraged that evangelicals have used scripture to justify racial segregation, misogyny and even slavery.

There are certain go-to Biblical verses that preachers spouted- the curse of Ham or the mark of Cain – to rationalize white superiority and even the slavery of blacks. Even today, especially in the South, evangelicals still use scripture to justify racial segregation.

It`s not the KKK member in full regalia that`s the greatest threat to our democracy, it`s the evangelical brandishing a Bible. Trump, a brazen unapologetic racist, has the support of thousands of KKK members and Nazis, but it`s the millions of evangelicals who put him in the White House.

The Trump administration is infested with evangelicals who hold views that are antithetical to a secular democracy. These evangelicals in Trump`s cabinet feel emboldened to proudly proclaim their homophobic, racist and misogynist views.

Take Karen Pence for example, she teaches at a Christian school that discriminates against gays and lesbians. Pence wraps herself in the Bible to defend her anti-gay views, and her teaching position in a virulently anti-gay school.

True Christians must reclaim their religion from the likes of Karen Pence; Jesus Christ the manifestation end embodiment of the Word of God preached tolerance, equality and peace, and he never uttered a single word against homosexuality.

II Timothy 2:5

Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.

Biblical verses, taken out of context, can be used to justify everything from genocide to homophobia to the inferiority of women to slavery.

Religion shouldn`t be exempt from criticism and even ridicule, it`s incumbent upon Christians and non-Christians alike to criticize the white evangelicals who are making a mockery of Christianity and democracy.

Compilation of Cat Videos to Play at a Movie House Near You

“Seventy minutes of cute cat videos may be some people`s idea of hell, but they`re not the target audience for `CatVideoFest,` a celebration of feline belovedness coming to Baltimore`s Landmark Theatres Harbor East on March 11.

The compilation is culled from direct submissions as well as the internet (if you`ve ever been on YouTube, you know how pervasive videos of adorable cat antics are) and other sources.

Part of the proceeds from `CatVideoFest,` which is playing at movie theaters throughout the country in February and March, will be earmarked for local cat charities, shelters and animal welfare organizations.”

Baltimore Sun

I rarely go to the movies because movie theaters attract humans – loud, inconsiderate, dirty, smelly humans.

I prefer to watch movies on Netflix or Amazon Prime in the privacy of my home with my cats napping on my lap.

However I might be enticed to go to the local multiplex to see “CatVideoFest,” I`ve seen thousands of cat videos online, but I`ve never seen a cat video on a huge screen.

The only drawback is that I can`t take my kitties with me, and of course I will have to put up with the company of humans for more than an hour.

Read more:
http://www.baltimoresun.com/features/baltimore-insider-blog/bs-fe-catfest-20190205-story.html

Donald Trump’s State of the Union Speech Tie Afflicted With Peyronie’s Disease

Moron

Donald Trump`s signature sartorial look is an absurdly long red tie. The Donald rarely buttons his jacket, he wants everyone to behold the amazing length of his tie.

You don`t have to be a rocket scientist, a stable genius or a fashionista to know that Trump`s long tie is compensation for his puny presidential pecker.

Trump triumphantly walked into the House chamber to deliver his State of the Union speech with his tie suffering from Peyronie`s disease. Nobody had the nerve to tell him that his tie was bent, and he delivered his address with his tie askew.

I once had a boss who walked around for hours with his zipper wide open, everybody hated his guts, and nobody wanted to spare him humiliation.

I`m surprised Mike Pence didn`t intentionally make his tie crooked to visually express solidarity with his boss.

It was appropriate and fitting that the most crooked president in history gave one of the most important speeches of his tenure wearing a crooked tie.

I don`t believe in accidents, I believe in a Supreme Being who is in control of the tiniest details. The Almighty Himself bent Trump`s tie to express how much He despises the short-fingered vulgarian and his white evangelical supporters.

Donald Trump Invites Bullied Joshua Trump,11, to State of the Union Speech

Bully-in-Chief

“There will be many Trumps in the House chamber for the president`s State of the Union address Tuesday night – but one Trump is not in the family. He`s Joshua Trump, an 11-year-old boy from Delaware who was bullied over the last name he shares with the president. President Trump and first lady Melania Trump invited the sixth grader to attend as their guest.”

CBS News

Indeed, there will be many Trumps in the House chamber for the president`s State of the Union address Tuesday night, but Tiffany Trump, the so-called bimbo of the Trump clan, has exercised remarkable wisdom by rarely appearing in public with her notorious family, and I doubt she will be in attendance tonight.

One Trump who`s not in the family, Joshua Trump, is the special guest of President Trump and first lady Melania Trump. He`ll be there by virtue of being bullied over the surname he shares with the bully-in-chief.

The boy was bullied over his name so much that for a while his parents homeschooled him. When he`s seen on nationwide TV tonight as the special guest of the short-fingered vulgarian, not only will he be continued to be bullied by his classmates, but he will be bullied online by millions.

Inviting Joshua Trump to the State of the Union speech makes as much sense as a teacher presenting a certificate of cleanliness, politeness and good grammar to a bullied student. I predict that Joshua will be homeschooled until he graduates from high school.

Shame on the Trumps, especially Melania, for using the child in such a cynical way. Melania has made anti-bullying her pet crusade, surely there`s a special place reserved in hell for such a hypocrite.

Read More:

https://www.cbsnews.com/news/state-of-the-union-2019-president-trump-invites-joshua-trump-delaware-boy-who-was-bullied-for-his-name-to-speech-tonight/

Woman Batters Boyfriend With Frozen Pork Chop

Deadly Weapon

“A Florida Woman is facing a domestic battery charge after allegedly clobbering her boyfriend in the face with a frozen pork chop during a dispute Friday night in their residence.

Cops allege that Jennifer Brassard, 48, and her beau were `engaged in a verbal argument` around 9:45 PM when Brassard `threw a frozen pork chop at the victim.` The pork chop, a criminal complaint notes, struck the man below the left eye, causing a half-inch laceration.

After getting hit with the pork chop, the victim fled the couple`s home.”

The Smoking Gun

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

When life curses you with a girlfriend who throws a frozen pork chop at your face, put the pork chop on your face to promote healing.

Then threaten to kick the wench to the curb if she ever acts out violently again, and finally demand she cook your pork chop. I love me some pork chops, and a pork chop should never go to waste.

But never, under any circumstances, run away like a terrified school girl when your old lady chunks a pork chop at you. This coward`s man card should be confiscated and returned only when he manages to grow a pair.

The wimp wasn`t identified by the police to protect his reputation, and the violent girlfriend was jailed on a domestic battery charge.

Read More:

http://thesmokinggun.com/documents/florida/pork-chop-battery-780129