Donald Trump is a Malignant and Suffocating Presence in American Life? How Do We End the Nightmare?

In a sane period in American history, before the ascendancy of Donald Trump, we didnt give much thought to who was in power. We went about our daily lives comfortable in the knowledge that Congress, the Supreme Court, and the president (whomever he might be) would keep our democracy humming along.

We only thought of the president during times of national emergency: in the advent of a national emergency, the declaration of a war or when he was delivering a speech of consequence, like a State of the Union address.

Then came Donald Trump. The president of the reality TV era is a malignant presence, he permeates every aspect of our culture from social media to the cable news outlets to late night TV.

He is a suffocating presence in American life, his white evangelical base meditates on him day and night with religious intensity, and his critics spend all their waking hours planning and scheming how they can impeach or by any other means get rid of the bastard.

Trump is always on TV, berating the political opposition, summarily firing members of his administration, and uttering lies.

Trump has caused millions of Americans to doubt in the existence of God, and millions of others to doubt the supremacy of democracy. If there`s a God in heaven why doesn`t he smite the moral degenerate? If democracy is the ideal form of governance, how in the name of God did we end up with Trump in the White House?

I must confess that I spend an inordinate amount of time thinking of Trump, as is evident in the hundreds of essays I`ve written about him in the last three years.

How can we preserve our sanity in the age of Trump? Assassination is morally repressible and illegal, and we mustn`t give it a moment`s consideration.

We must find solace in the truism that “this too shall pass,” but at the same time we must actively fight to end the Trump administration as soon as possible through legal and democratic means.

Comic Joe Wong is Spot On: Trump’s Wall Will Become Tourist Attraction

“Chinese-American comedian Joe Wong had a message for President Donald Trump about his proposed U.S.-Mexico border wall on Fridays broadcast of The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

`I`m from China,` Wong said. `So I know a lot about walls. They don`t work.`

He then bluntly predicted what would eventually become of Trump`s southern barrier, should it ever be constructed – `a huge tourist attraction.`”

Huffington Post

Asians make lousy stand-up comics, how can you be funny when your comedy is so inscrutable and you`re so damn meek and mild? No emails please, I could give a damn if you don`t like my politically-incorrect humor.

But Joe Wong did make me smile when he said that Trump`s wall, should it ever be constructed, would be a huge tourist attraction.

The wall, especially with the Democrats in charge of the House, will never be built, it was never meant to be more than a dog`s whistle to Trump`s racist base.

But if it`s built it will surely be a tourist attraction, I can visualize tourists flocking to the wall to witness migrants rappelling over the cursed thing. Artists will paint murals on the wall, and graffiti artists will tag the wall from one end to the other. Other critics will take a more kinetic action, blowing up entrances in the name of freedom.

If there are dozens of tunnels between the highly militarized border between Israel and the Gaza, surely there will be hundreds of tunnels between Mexico and the United States.

The civilized world will demand “Tear down This Wall Mr. Trump,” and the next president will tear down the abomination.

Wong is spot on, the wall will be a damn tourist attraction.

Nancy Pelosi Eviscerates Donald Trump

The manspreading president sat in his yellow chair in front of the fireplace, I`m surprised he`s managed thus far to restrain himself from replacing it with a golden throne.

When Trump is in the Oval Office he expects all the supplicants, whether they`re heads of states or American politicians, to treat him with deference and respect.

Trump summoned the past and future Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi and the Senate minority leader Chuck Schumer to discuss the budget and immigration, specifically his damn wall.

Trump expected the event that was televised live to showcase his determination to build the wall, and his superiority over his Democratic rivals. He probably imagined his evangelical base assembled in circle jerks in churches and living rooms across the nation praising Jesus over his performance.

But things didn`t go according to plan. Nancy and Chuck didn`t get the memo that they`re supposed to act like sycophants when granted an audience before the stable genius.

Trump was gesticulating wildly with his tiny hands, and practically shouting. But Chuck wasn`t intimidated and he matched Trump`s decibel level, and he waved his normal-sized hands in the air, making the president`s diminutive hands look even smaller in comparison.

And then the new sheriff in town, Nancy Pelosi, without raising her voice or gesticulating wildly put the mansplaining Trump in his place. She demonstrated that you don`t need to engage in histrionics to get the better of Trump, all that`s required is a spine and facts.

Pelosi gave us a glorious taste of how the House, with her in charge, will hold Trump accountable for the duration of his term, whether it`s a few months or two more wretched years.

Cat Gets Stuck in Dryer’s Vent

The cat`s owners discovered her in the tight spot, but were unable to free their kitty from the 6-in.-wide space she managed to crawl into.

“According to the RSPCA, a feline found herself caught in the pipework of a tumble dryer after crawling into the machine`s vent.

Unsure what to do next, the owners called RSPCA for help.”

People Magazine

It`s axiomatic that cats love warm dryers, whenever I open my dryer if I`m not paying attention one of my cats will jump in and snuggle in my warm clothes. I may seem like a terrible cat owner, but I`ve accidentally closed my dryer with one of my mischievous kitties inside.

I can certainly understand a feline jumping into a dryer, but until now I`ve never heard of a cat crawling into the machine`s vent.

When your cat gets stuck in a tree you call the fire department, and I guess when it gets stuck in a dryer`s vent you call the SPCA.

An officer from the SPCA greased the pipe with butter and pushed the cat out of the vent. The cat wasn`t injured, only her pride was hurt as she tried to lick off the butter from her fur.

The Chuck and Nancy Oval Office Emasculation of Donald Trump Rendered Mike Pence Mute

After Kanye West`s surreal Oval Office meeting with Donald Trump, ostensibly to talk about prison reform, went off the rails with the rapper dropping F-bombs like confetti, I thought surely there will never be a more surreal meeting in that lofty office where so much history has been made.

Suffice to say I was wrong, boy was I wrong.

Trump invited cameras to his Oval Office meeting with Chuck and Nancy, the narcissist thought the photo-op of him berating the Democratic Congressional leaders over their refusal to allocate funds for his wall would play well with his base.

Things didn`t go according to plan. It was like taking candy from a baby, Chuck and Nancy tricked Trump into owning his expected government shutdown.

After an animated Trump, wildly waving his tiny hands, said that Pelosi was “in a situation where it`s not easy for her to talk right now” because of the speakership race, Boss Lady Pelosi nipped that mansplaining in the bud, lecturing him:

Mr. President, please don`t characterize the strength that I bring to this meeting as the leader of the House Democrats, who just won a big victory.

There wasn`t a court jester present at the boisterous meeting, but there was a mute Elf on the Shelf. Mike Pence didn`t utter a word, maybe he thought that Jesus blessed him with the gift of invisibility, and nobody would even know he was there.

The only thing Trump accomplished is that for half a news cycle the Chuck and Nancy emasculation of the stable genius knocked the Mueller investigation as the lead story on the cable news outlets.

Melania Trump Hasn’t Bought Donald Trump Any Christmas Gifts

“FIRST LADY Melania Trump is yet to buy her husband any Christmas presents, with the couple frequently not exchanging festive gifts at all, it has been claimed.

A source close to the First Lady told Hollywood Life: `Melania absolutely loves Christmas, she goes all out, but as of now she has yet to buy Donald anything.`

`Melania says Donald`s next to impossible to buy for and often they don`t exchange gifts at all for Christmas.`”

Express

I can empathize with Melania`s quandary, after all what do you give a billionaire who already owns the most expensive toys in the world?

Perhaps the first lady can create her own Christmas card, as a token of the love and affection she has for her husband. But of course there is never any love and affection between a gold-digger/trophy wife and her spouse, so hand-created gifts are out of the question.

Anyway, judging by Melania`s blood-red Christmas trees her gifts would probably be as tacky and gaudy as the trinket a Madam of a brothel would give her favorite customer. She`s probably going to end up giving Trump a blood-red butt plug signed by Mike Pence.

At the Trump White House Christmas resembles Festivus, grievances may be aired, and I doubt any presents will be exchanged.

Donald Trump Screws Up Coin Toss at Army-Navy Game

Everything Donald Trump says or does is controversial, he can`t shake hands, salute or toss a coin without making headlines.

Trump attended the 119th annual Army-Navy game in Philadelphia, and video of the stable genius tossing the ceremonial coin has Twitter in a frenzy. Trump might as well have tossed Mike Pompeo`s salad (in the UrbanDictionary.Com definition of the phrase), for all the controversy that ensued.

Trump had one job to do, a very simple job, but as usual he screwed things up. How could Trump fail at such an easy task, his tiny fingers are custom-made for flipping a coin, for God`s sake!

A play-by-play description of the presidential toss won`t do it justice, you have to see the video to comprehend the awkwardness of the incident.

Let me just make this one point about the coin toss that shook a nation to its core. It`s understood that the celeb who tosses the coin isn`t expected to pick it up, nevertheless Trump arrogantly pointed at the ground for the referee to pick up the damn coin.

A president who is incapable of flipping a coin shouldn`t be allowed anywhere near the nuclear button. Impeach the coin-tossing wanker now!

Pence May be Dropped From Trump’s 2020 Ticket! Top 9 New Career Choices

If Mike Pence is banished from Donald Trump`s 2020 ticket, here are my top ten new career choices for him:

STORE MANNEQUIN

Just don`t place him too close to a female mannequin, he`ll sweat profusely.

ACCOUNTANT

Pence is straight out of central casting for this profession, his trademark furrowed brow is the perfect look when he`s examining your tax returns.

RECEPTIONIST AT A GAY BATHHOUSE

Most of us find him obnoxious, but he exudes a gay vibe that would be right at home in this environment

CHAPERONE FOR HIGH SCHOOL PROMS

We can all imagine him admonishing amorous young couples on the dance floor to “leave enough room for the Holy Ghost.”

DOG WALKER

His brown nose testifies that he`s used to the smell of excrement, he wouldn`t mind picking up after the dogs in his care.

MOVIE EXTRA

Every movie calls for a nondescript stranger who blends into the background, well Pence is a freaking beige wall.

FLUFFER FOR GAY PORN FLICKS

He`s certainly had plenty of experience fluffing up the orange clown in the White House.

BATHROOM ATTENDANT AT A 4-STAR HOTEL

Pence reeks obsequiousness and he would be a natural in this offbeat occupation.

PRESS SECRETARY FOR THE ANTI-CHRIST

I can just see him looking adoringly at the Anti-Christ as he proclaims that everyone must be branded with “666” on their hands or forehead.

Donald Trump Considering Kicking Mike Pence to the Curb

“On Monday, Trump hosted a 2020 strategy meeting with a group of advisers. Among the topics discussed was whether Mike Pence should remain on the ticket, given the hurricane-force political headwinds Trump will face, as demonstrated by the midterms, a source briefed on the session told me.

Last month, The New York Times reported that Trump had been privately asking advisers if Pence could be trusted, and that outside advisers have been pushing Nikki Haley to replace Pence.”

Vanity Fair

Rudolph the reindeer is defined by his red nose, and Mike Pence the Vice President is defined by his brown nose, he reeks of the essence of Donald Trump.

Pence speaks of Trump in reverent tones, and gazes at him with religious fealty and devotion, leading many to conclude that he`s Trump`s bitch, and incapable of turning against his master.

Pence is Trump`s chief apologist, as soon as the short-fingered vulgarian`s latest incomprehensible and vile tweet is posted online, he can be relied upon to twist its meaning until it sounds like a verse from the Bible.

But Pence`s public obsequiousness is covering his ambition and revulsion of Trump`s crudeness and immorality.

Trump isn`t a real evangelical, he just utters the anti-gay rhetoric and anti-abortion claptrap that is music to the ears of his white evangelical followers. But Pence is the real deal, and he believes that his best chance of becoming president and ushering the kingdom of Christ on Earth is to show outward allegiance to the anti-Christ figure currently in power.

It looks like Trump is finally on to Pence`s machinations, and I hope that he kicks the sanctimonious bastard to the curb.

Read More:

https://www.vanityfair.com/news/2018/12/mike-pence-2020-mueller-trump

Melania Trump is un-American!

Melania Trump has eastern European accent of a madam of a brothel at a major city that caters to an international clientele and the bearing of a concierge at a 4-star hotel. She has the confidence of a supermodel sashaying down a runway, and the haughty look of a trophy wife whose working days are well behind her. She`s been in America for decades, but her broken English speaks to her disdain at learning the language of her adopted country. Her Haute couture outfits testify to her need to distinguish herself from the unwashed masses. Her unambiguous defense of her husband lets us know in no uncertain terms that she knows which side her bread is buttered. Her failure to bond with the electorate highlights the “let them eat cake” attitude of someone who considers herself royalty.

And you ask why I don`t like or respect Melania Trump?