Teen Student Shows Up For Senior Prom in a Casket! Video!

“Alexandrea Clark arrived to her senior prom in a hearse on Saturday at Americus Sumter High School, and said there was a good message behind it.

Clark arrived to her senior prom in a hearse on Saturday at Americus Sumter High School. She took the short, five to 10-minute ride from the funeral home to school, which has since gone viral. She says her vision for her grand entrance was two years in the making.

She told 11Alive she did it in-part to encourage her classmates to not drink and drive.

`I was thinking about my class and how they are going to prom and doing the bad stuff after prom; like having drugs and doing all that,` she said.

11Alive.Com

High school seniors like to make a grand entrance by arriving for the senior prom in a limousine, but Alexandrea Clark stole the show by arriving in a hearse, and then being unloaded from the vehicle in a casket.

Clark wasn`t just trying to achieve viral infamy, she was sending a not so subtle message to her classmates: Don`t Drink and Drive!

Clark has been working for two years at the West Mortuary in Americus, and her dream since middle school is to become a funeral director.

She loves working in a mortuary, “because I love being around people and helping others.”

I think I missed my calling, unlike Clark I don`t like people at all, and working around dead people would be heaven on Earth.

When I croak I hope I will be embalmed by somebody who loves career like Clark. You Go Girl!

http://www.11alive.com/article/news/local/meet-the-georgia-student-who-arrived-to-prom-in-casket/85-540270922

Stray Cat Scares Bejesus Out of Wanker

“A customer at a Tennessee garden center was caught on security camera jumping onto a store counter to avoid a stray cat that wandered in.

The security camera footage shows a man standing at the counter at Beasley`s Yard in Columbia when another customer walks in the door.

A stray cat darts into the door before it closes, causing the man at the counter to become startled and jump up onto the counter.”

UPI

Even the toughest dude is afraid of something, I for one will scream like a little girl if a spider falls on me.

But a man who jumps onto a store counter when a feline wanders in, should turn in his man card. He`s more of a pussycat than a human being, and I`m surprised the store owner didn`t knock him off the counter with a baseball bat.

But at least the store owner posted the video online, to the mortification of the coward, and the delight of millions of people all over the world.

Link to video:

https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2018/04/18/Stray-cat-scares-customer-into-jumping-up-on-counter/2451524068997/?utm_source=sec&utm_campaign=sl&utm_medium=7

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Rep. Jim Jordan Tells Anderson Cooper He’s Never Heard Trump Lie

House Freedom Caucus co-founder Rep. Jim Jordan repeatedly insisted in an interview with CNN`s Anderson Cooper that he has never heard pathological liar President Donald Trump tell a fib.

Jordan reminds me of White House physician Dr. Ronny Jackson who declared that the obscenely obese McDonald`s-loving Trump is in excellent physical and mental health, and the many white evangelical leaders who proclaim that the morally bankrupt billionaire is anointed of God to Make America Great Again.

It`s self-evident that Trump is a lying sack of shi*, and a moral reprobate. I would feel silly trying to convince anyone of this undeniable reality, but here`s a list of 2,000 lies Trump has uttered in a year:

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/fact-checker/wp/2018/01/10/president-trump-has-made-more-than-2000-false-or-misleading-claims-over-355-days/?utm_term=.f59d3c822eae

It would be so refreshing if conservative politicians, right-leaning pundits and evangelical preachers simply stated: Trump may be a pussy-grabbing, mean-spirited short-fingered vulgarian, but we will endorse him as long as he continues to nominate conservative Supreme Court Justices, sign tax laws that benefit the wealthy, demonize immigrants and support the rest of our right-wing agenda.

But instead they pretend that he`s a paragon of virtue, and a statesman who will go down in history as the greatest president since Abraham Lincoln.

I can`t wait until Special Counsel Robert Mueller completes his investigation and Trump is impeached and removed from office, maybe then the president`s enablers will stop singing his praises.

Little Girl Draws Crude Drawing of Her Beloved Kitty on Missing Pet Flyer

“A young girl is doing everything she can to find her missing cat.

Sierra Beckenstein received the kitty named Peppercorn on Easter, but last Wednesday the cat went missing.

She searched her neighborhood several times, and then decided to make fliers, however, she didn`t have any pictures of Peppercorn.

Sierra got creative and drew her cat, describing her as `skiddish` with green eyes.”

ABC 13

When a pet runs away from home, anxious pet owners, even children, post a missing pet poster on social media, including a photograph of the missing doggie or kitty.

Unfortunately, little 10-year-old Sierra didn`t have a photo of her missing cat, so she posted flyers on telephone poles in her neighborhood that included a drawing of her beloved pet.

Sierra, God bless her soul, has the drawing ability of a 5-year-old, I`ll be kind and describe her drawing as minimalist.

But obviously Sierra loves her cat, and I pray that despite the old-school approach to find her missing pet, the “skiddish” fur ball will find his way home.

Link to video:

http://abc13.com/pets-animals/girl-draws-picture-to-help-find-missing-cat/3336985/

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Brush Your Cat At Least Once a Week

The average cat spends anywhere from 85% to 90% of his day sleeping, about 10% destroying your earthly possessions, and the rest of his time plotting to kill you.

Felines are independent and low-maintenance, and you may think that all you have to do is feed them and clean their litter box, but you still need to brush your kitty at least once a week.

Even though cats spend an inordinate amount of time grooming themselves, brushing your cat on a weekly basis helps remove loose hairs from his undercoat. If these loose hairs aren`t removed your cat will ingest them, and eventually expel them as hairballs.

Grooming your pet will also help you bond with him, he may think twice about scratching your furniture if you show him a little bit of attention.

Come on don`t be so lazy, you spend a good two minutes a day scratching your ass, you can make time to brush your kitty for a few minutes each week.

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Two Men Arrested for Being Black at Starbucks in Trump’s America

I avoid Starbucks like the plague, I prefer not to patronize an establishment that`s a magnet for slackers, wankers, hipsters and other assorted millennial riff-raff.

Starbucks is forced to sell a cup of coffee for a small fortune, because their clientele will nurse a cup of Java for hours while they take advantage of the free Wi-Fi.

I`d rather go to McDonalds and buy coffee at a reasonable price and not be surrounded by earbud-wearing zombies.

I doubt that a white customer has ever been arrested for trespassing for lingering too long over a cup of coffee, or for asking to use the restroom before ordering.

But all hell broke loose at a Philadelphia Starbucks when two young African American men had the temerity to ask to use the restroom before ordering an overpriced cup of coffee. You`d think they has requested to use the bathroom to sell crack.

The video of the outrageous incident has gone viral after it was shared on Twitter with a caption stating that two black men were arrested simply for waiting on a friend at the coffee chain outlet.

The men were waiting for a friend, who`s a real estate agent, to discuss a real estate deal. But the Starbucks employees see two young black men chatting, and they assume that they are discussing a drug deal, and they call 911.

Unless I see a black person commit a crime right before my eyes I wouldn`t call the cops, because I know that a person of color doesn`t have a good chance of surviving any interaction with the police.

The black gentlemen remained remarkably calm while being surround by cops, and they were handcuffed and perp-walked out of Starbucks.

It`s a shame that this type of racist incident happens with alarming regularity, but thank God they didn`t become another hashtag.

Link to video:

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/philadelphia-starbucks-arrest/

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Guide Dog Trained to Sniff Out Burger King Whoppers for Blind Owner

“On April 12, Burger King`s U.K. branch released a video to YouTube of a guide dog being successfully trained to smell out flame-grilled Whoppers for his visually impaired owner.

British hockey player Nathan Tree describes his golden retriever Flynn as his “best friend” who “saves my life every day.” Traveling often for his career on the ice, Tree was inspired to teach his pup to sniff out Burger King Whoppers, his “go-to food.”

After fifteen days of training, Flynn is successfully able to identify a flame-grilled Whopper in a blind scent test with another burger and fish and chips, just in time for Tree`s trip to Paris.”

Fox News

According to a video posted on YouTube by Burger King a guide dog has been successfully trained to smell out flame-grilled Whoppers for his blind owner.

Methinks this is one of the greatest whoppers ever told in an advertising campaign. I`m not blind, but I am lazy as hell, and it would be terrific if I could train my pooch to sniff out the closest Burger King, and bring me back a couple of Whoppers.

But I`m afraid my doggie would only bring back the wrappers, she`s pilfered a burger from my kitchen table on more than one occasion.

In the commercial Tree and Flynn walk through the City of Lights, and the canine successfully leads his owner to a Burger King.

Those type of miracles may only happen in commercials, but Flynn is an adorable pooch and those Whoppers look mighty tasty.

Read More:

http://www.foxnews.com/food-drink/2018/04/14/burger-king-trained-guide-dog-to-sniff-out-whoppers.html

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New York Daily News Headline: PEE BRAIN! Trump is a Pea-Brain Golden Showers-Loving Freak

“New Yorks hometown newspaper is taking on President Donald Trump yet again with another absolutely savage front page.

The New York Daily News posted its Friday cover on Twitter late Thursday:

https://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/ny-daily-news-trump-pee-cover_us_5ad01136e4b0edca2cb81e0f

Huffington Post

The New York Daily News headline screams: PEE BRAIN! Is this yellow journalism (no pun intended), or does President Donald Trump deserve the golden showers of ridicule that are devastating his administration?

That`s a rhetorical question, Trump is indeed a pea-brain short-fingered vulgarian who is destroying our democracy and staining his presidency. It`s incumbent upon all legitimate newspapers to expose him as an Emperor who has no clothes and is drenched in urine.

When then FBI Director James Comey told President Donald Trump about the infamous dossier, he seemed obsessed with the most lurid allegation, that the Russians had a tape of prostitutes urinating on each other in his hotel room in Moscow.

According to Comey, Trump told him to investigate it to prove that it didn`t happen. Comey quotes Trump as saying: If there`s even a 1% chance my wife thinks that`s true, that terrible.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much, there`s a 100% chance Melania knows that her hubby is the kind of freak who dances the Macarena while hookers piss all over him.

The White House needs a solid cleansing, the People`s House needs to be hosed down, washing away pee-stained Trump and his all of his lackeys.

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Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Predicts Rapture Will Take Place April 23, 2018

“According to conspiracy theorists, codes in the Bible suggest the end of the world is imminent, with Earth set to be destroyed on April 23.

One theory suggests the end times dates back to astrological constellations appearing on November 23, matching the book of Revelation 12:1-2.

The passage signals the start of the Rapture and the second coming of Jesus Christ.

The passage 12:1-2 reads: `And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.`”

Express

With President Donald Trump threatening on Twitter to strike Syria with Tomahawk missiles, and news anchors discussing if the president hired prostitutes to urinate on each other it certainly feels like we are living in the last days.

Christian theologian and author David Meade is making headlines for predicting that the Rapture will take place April 23, 2018.

But before you cash out your CD`s and live like a decadent billionaire before the world ends it`s important to keep these things in mind:

*The Bible warns us in Matthew 24.36: But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

*”David Meade” is a pen name, the wack job conspiracy theorist doesn`t have the courage to use his real name.

*The end-time conspiracy theorist predicted that the planet Nibiru was going to collide with Earth on September 13, 2017. After his prediction failed, he revised the apocalypse to October 2017, and then November 2017.

Meade has repeatedly been wrong in predicting the Rapture, it`s worth noting that the Old Testament says that prophets who are wrong even one time should be killed:

Deuteronomy 18: 20: But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

We`re not living under the Old Testament dispensation but we should put him to death 21st century style: Ridicule the wanker on social media until he kills himself.

Read More:

https://www.express.co.uk/news/weird/944211/end-of-the-world-rapture-april-23-prediction

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Crazy Woman Offers to Trade Car for Entire Stock of Necco Wafers!

“A Florida woman really loves Necco Wafers, the colorful candies made by a Massachusetts-based company that is currently at risk of shutting down.

The Boston Globe reports 23-year-old Katie Samuels reached out to candy wholesaler Candystore.com to offer her 2003 Honda Accord for all of their stock.

Samuels has childhood memories of playing “church” at her grandmother`s home and pretending to take Communion with the candies.

In March, Necco announced that 395 workers could be laid off if the company does not find a buyer. Candystore.com did not accept the offer in what they`re calling “The Great Necco Wafer Panic,” but Samuels managed to buy four dozen rolls of the wafers.”

NBC Washington

I have fond memories of candy bars like Look, Big Hunk and Rocky Road that I enjoyed as a child, but can`t find in supermarket shelves today.

But I still have nightmares about the time that I ate Necco Wafers as a child. I don`t remember if it was the neighbor who didn`t appreciate me playing in the sidewalk in front of his house or the crazy cat lady who gave me that godawful candy, but I still can`t get the taste out of my mind.

Necco Wafers are about the same size as communion wafers, and they come in different colors, but they taste like chalk or aspirin.

I might trade in my 2003 Ford Focus for a truckload of Big Hunk candy bars or even communion wafers, but you couldn`t pay me enough money to eat even one Necco Wafer.

If you are an eccentric like Katie Samuels who loves Necco Wafers, you don`t have to worry about the company going out of business, sales of the weird candy has skyrocketed since the Boston Globe reported their financial troubles.

Read More:
https://www.nbcwashington.com/news/national-international/Florida-Woman-Offers-Car-for-Entire-Stock-of-Necco-Wafers-479385283.html

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