New York Daily News Headline: PEE BRAIN! Trump is a Pea-Brain Golden Showers-Loving Freak

“New Yorks hometown newspaper is taking on President Donald Trump yet again with another absolutely savage front page.

The New York Daily News posted its Friday cover on Twitter late Thursday:

Huffington Post

The New York Daily News headline screams: PEE BRAIN! Is this yellow journalism (no pun intended), or does President Donald Trump deserve the golden showers of ridicule that are devastating his administration?

That`s a rhetorical question, Trump is indeed a pea-brain short-fingered vulgarian who is destroying our democracy and staining his presidency. It`s incumbent upon all legitimate newspapers to expose him as an Emperor who has no clothes and is drenched in urine.

When then FBI Director James Comey told President Donald Trump about the infamous dossier, he seemed obsessed with the most lurid allegation, that the Russians had a tape of prostitutes urinating on each other in his hotel room in Moscow.

According to Comey, Trump told him to investigate it to prove that it didn`t happen. Comey quotes Trump as saying: If there`s even a 1% chance my wife thinks that`s true, that terrible.

Methinks the lady doth protest too much, there`s a 100% chance Melania knows that her hubby is the kind of freak who dances the Macarena while hookers piss all over him.

The White House needs a solid cleansing, the People`s House needs to be hosed down, washing away pee-stained Trump and his all of his lackeys.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Christian Conspiracy Theorist David Meade Predicts Rapture Will Take Place April 23, 2018

“According to conspiracy theorists, codes in the Bible suggest the end of the world is imminent, with Earth set to be destroyed on April 23.

One theory suggests the end times dates back to astrological constellations appearing on November 23, matching the book of Revelation 12:1-2.

The passage signals the start of the Rapture and the second coming of Jesus Christ.

The passage 12:1-2 reads: `And a great sign appeared in heaven: a woman clothed with the sun, with the moon under her feet, and on her head a crown of 12 stars. She was pregnant and was crying out in birth pains and the agony of giving birth.`”


With President Donald Trump threatening on Twitter to strike Syria with Tomahawk missiles, and news anchors discussing if the president hired prostitutes to urinate on each other it certainly feels like we are living in the last days.

Christian theologian and author David Meade is making headlines for predicting that the Rapture will take place April 23, 2018.

But before you cash out your CD`s and live like a decadent billionaire before the world ends it`s important to keep these things in mind:

*The Bible warns us in Matthew 24.36: But of that day and hour knoweth no man, no, not the angels of heaven, but my Father only.

*”David Meade” is a pen name, the wack job conspiracy theorist doesn`t have the courage to use his real name.

*The end-time conspiracy theorist predicted that the planet Nibiru was going to collide with Earth on September 13, 2017. After his prediction failed, he revised the apocalypse to October 2017, and then November 2017.

Meade has repeatedly been wrong in predicting the Rapture, it`s worth noting that the Old Testament says that prophets who are wrong even one time should be killed:

Deuteronomy 18: 20: But the prophet, which shall presume to speak a word in my name, which I have not commanded him to speak, or that shall speak in the name of other gods, even that prophet shall die.

We`re not living under the Old Testament dispensation but we should put him to death 21st century style: Ridicule the wanker on social media until he kills himself.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Crazy Woman Offers to Trade Car for Entire Stock of Necco Wafers!

“A Florida woman really loves Necco Wafers, the colorful candies made by a Massachusetts-based company that is currently at risk of shutting down.

The Boston Globe reports 23-year-old Katie Samuels reached out to candy wholesaler to offer her 2003 Honda Accord for all of their stock.

Samuels has childhood memories of playing “church” at her grandmother`s home and pretending to take Communion with the candies.

In March, Necco announced that 395 workers could be laid off if the company does not find a buyer. did not accept the offer in what they`re calling “The Great Necco Wafer Panic,” but Samuels managed to buy four dozen rolls of the wafers.”

NBC Washington

I have fond memories of candy bars like Look, Big Hunk and Rocky Road that I enjoyed as a child, but can`t find in supermarket shelves today.

But I still have nightmares about the time that I ate Necco Wafers as a child. I don`t remember if it was the neighbor who didn`t appreciate me playing in the sidewalk in front of his house or the crazy cat lady who gave me that godawful candy, but I still can`t get the taste out of my mind.

Necco Wafers are about the same size as communion wafers, and they come in different colors, but they taste like chalk or aspirin.

I might trade in my 2003 Ford Focus for a truckload of Big Hunk candy bars or even communion wafers, but you couldn`t pay me enough money to eat even one Necco Wafer.

If you are an eccentric like Katie Samuels who loves Necco Wafers, you don`t have to worry about the company going out of business, sales of the weird candy has skyrocketed since the Boston Globe reported their financial troubles.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Outrage: Alabama Football Team Prays for Donald Trump at White House!

“Members of the University of Alabama football team prayed with President Donald Trump on Tuesday afternoon as they made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship.

During the Trump presidency, visits by championship sports teams to the White House have seemingly been marred by the fact that some high-profile athletes haven`t made the trip to the executive mansion to protest the president.

However, the Crimson Tide`s visit to the White House on Tuesday to celebrate their 26-23 Jan. 8 victory over the University of Georgia could likely be remembered for the fact that a handful of players huddled around the president to pray for him and the administration.

According to WBRC sports reporter Christina Chambers, the prayer was the idea of Alabama punter JK Scott. Chambers reports that when the punter went to shake Trump`s hand following his ceremony, he asked the president if he could pray with him.”

Christian Post

The tradition of teams visiting the White House to celebrate their championship should take a hiatus during the Trump administration. Most football teams, whether amateur or professional, are predominantly African American, and it makes no sense for them to visit the White House, and thereby giving their stamp of approval to the racist Trump administration.

Instead of visiting the White House to celebrate their 2017 NBA championship, the Golden State Warriors toured the National Museum of African-American History and Culture with local Washington students.

Championship teams should follow the example of the Golden State Warriors and turn down invitations to visit the White House. However I`m not surprised that the University of Alabama football team made their ceremonial visit to the White House as winners of the 2017-2018 College Football Playoff National Championship. After all the state of Alabama is a Mecca for rednecks; Alabamians love football, pedophile senatorial candidates, and of course Donald Trump.

Not only did the Alabama football team visit the White House, but they huddled around the president, laid hands on him, and prayed for the racist bastard.

It would have been OK if players prayed for Trump to repent and turn away from his wicked ways. But I`m sure these wankers prayed a generic Christian prayer asking God to bless Trump and give him wisdom. Such bullcrap!

I`m going to pray myself, that next year the Crimson Tide won`t win the national championship.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Diamond and Silk’s Coonery and Buffoonery Resonates With Trump’s Racist Base

Lynnette “Diamond” Hardaway and Rochelle “Silk” Richardson known as “Diamond and Silk” are two of President Donald Trump`s most ardent African American supporters.

They take “coonery and buffoonery” to an absurd level, and their videos resonate with Trump`s racist base for the same reason that minstrel shows were very popular in the South in the early 19th century.

I can imagine white Trump supporters watching a Diamond and Silk video, laughing at their antics, and wondering why all black people can`t be hoodwinked so easily.

It sickens me that two black women shucking and jiving in support of a blatantly racist president garner millions of views on YouTube.

But YouTube and Facebook shouldn`t take any measures to censor or demonetize their videos. Coonery and buffoonery isn`t hate speech, and Diamond and Silk videos are protected free speech.

Facebook recently classified the videos produced by Diamond and Silk as “unsafe to the community,” and that had the practical effect of making their content on Facebook more difficult to access.

Their videos are an affront to the black race, and indeed all of humanity, but as I have previously stated their content shouldn`t be censored or restricted.

In the Facebook community there is enough bandwidth for pages that celebrate cats, promote human rights, defend liberty, advocate on the behalf of gays, lesbians and other minorities, and yes there is even space for pages where Uncle Toms can indulge in their coonery.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Dude Stabs Woman With Steak Knife Because He Didn’t Like Texture of His Steak

“According to state police, 41-year-old Shannon Lynch was having dinner with a woman in a Bullskin Township home around 11 p.m. when the two got into an argument.

Police say Lynch `took offense to the texture of his steak` and began to assault the woman. During the assault, Lynch allegedly picked up a steak knife and stabbed the woman in the arm.

Lynch then left the house, and police say his current whereabouts are unknown.”

CBS Pittsburgh

I don`t want to make light of domestic abuse, but if I wait until almost midnight for my steak dinner, that damn steak better be cooked perfectly.

That woman had one thing to do, and one thing only: To cook that slab of meat to her man`s ideal standards, and she failed miserably.

Naturally homeboy took offense to the texture of his steak, and stabbed the woman in the arm with the steak knife.

I guarantee that the next time this woman fixes a steak dinner for her man, it will be cooked to his exact specifications. I can also guarantee that there will be a next time, stupid women rarely kick their violent boyfriends to the curb.

Naturally Lynch left the house after stabbing his date, what would be the point in staying, stabbing your date is an automatic conversation killer.

Read More:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

College Student Uses CPR She Learned From ‘The Office’ to Save Squirrel

“Michigan college student said she used a CPR technique she learned from NBC`s The Office to save the life of a drowning squirrel.

Central Michigan University student Natalie Belisto posted a video to Twitter showing her rescuing the drowning squirrel and later keeping it warm with a hair dryer.”


College students are post-millennial slackers who find comradery and security in their safe spaces, bur are ill fit to thrive in society. They are adept at finding Wi-Fi hot spots, but are totally clueless at changing a tire or cooking a meal.

But Michigan University student, Natalie Belisto, isn`t a useless wanker like her contemporaries, she used CPR to save the life of a drowning squirrel. Being a child of the Internet age, this heroic woman posted a video to Twitter showing her dramatic rescue.

Belisto learned CPR from “The Office,” a sit-com that aired from March 24, 2005, to May 16, 2013. This mockumentary has become a cult favorite, and is perhaps the most streamed series in Netflix`s history.

Fans of “The Office” feel an intimate connection with the series because it breaks the fourth wall, and the characters stare at viewers and talk directly to them.

Pam/Jenna Fischer might as well have spoken to Belisto from the boob tube: Save that squirrel! Just remember that episode when the Dunder Mifflin employees learned that a good tip for CPR is to do chest compressions to the beat of the Bee Gees song “Staying Alive.”

May that hapless squirrel stay alive forever!

May heroic Natalie Belisto stay alive forever!

May “The Office” stay alive forever!

Link to video:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox is a Master at Trolling Donald Trump

Former Mexican President Vicente Fox is the undisputed master at trolling Donald Trump, he makes the likes of Rosie O`Donnell and Jimmy Kimmel look like rank amateurs in the art of getting under Trump`s orange skin.

On Good Friday (I realize Easter Week is over, but any Friday that Fox ridicules Trump is a Good Friday), he shared an image on Twitter of himself wearing a new Trump-trolling T-shirt. Click the link at the bottom of page.

The design depicts Trump as a baby who is building a wall from Lego bricks. There is a smoke symbol representing the stench emanating from his soiled diapers. Trump has a smug expression of his face, he`s oblivious that he stinks to high heaven. He`s just as oblivious that his wall is a fantasy that will never come to fruition.

The slogan on the shirt reads: Can`t Build a Wall if Your Hands are too Small! Not only are Trump`s hands too tiny to build a wall, but his brain is too small to conceptualize the herculean effort to build a $100 billion wall.

Fox has long ridiculed Trump`s promise to build a wall on the U.S.-Mexico border.

Viva Fox! You made my day, please continue to troll Trump, we hate him even more you hate the bastard.

Link to pic of anti-Trump shirt:

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Is Melania Trump Mocked More Than Any Other First Lady?

Conservatives have their MAGA panties in a twist over Jimmy Kimmel poking fun at Melania Trump`s Slovenian accent as she was reading a children`s book to children at the annual White House Easter Egg Roll event.

“Never stop exploring, cause life would be boring. Be clever be curious just like a cat. Ask lots of questions about this and that,” Melania read.

“Like dis and dat, ” the late night comic said, impersonating an Easter European accent and then joking to his sidekick, Guillermo Rodriquez, that he could be First Lady.

Melania should read that children`s book to her husband at bedtime, maybe it will encourage him to read instead of wasting time watching “Fox and Friends:`

I actually think Melania rocked when she was reading to the little kids, it sounded like she was channeling Snoop Dogg on “Nothing but a G Thang”:

It`s like dis and like dat and like dis and a-
It`s like dat and like dis and like dat and a-
It`s like dis, and who gives a fuc* about those?
So just chill `til the next episode.

In their alternate reality conservatives claim that no First Lady has been demeaned and mocked more than Melania. Bitch, please!

Michelle Obama caught holy hell from evangelicals for daring to bare her arms, while they remain mute about Melania`s softcore porn lesbian photographs from her modeling days.

I don`t make fun of Melania`s accent, good God English is her fourth or fifth language. But I do fault her for not raising her voice, in any language, to protest her husband`s misogyny, racism and bullying nature.

It`s like dis and like dat,

chill out bitches,

Donald Trump is the one we be aiming for.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter:

Photo Credit: Wikipedia

Link to homepage of Robert Paul Reyes:

Trump’s Twitter Typos

Twitter is my favorite social media platform, and I fire off more than a dozen tweets on a daily basis. It`s easy to make a typo when I`m angrily responding to a tweet of someone blasting one of my articles, but unless it`s a flagrant typo I usually don`t bother to correct it. My pet peeve is anal-retentive wankers whose panties get in a twist over punctuation or typos in a tweet.

However I`m not the Leader of the Free World, and I have thousands not millions of followers. A typo on my Twitter feed will most likely go unnoticed, but a comma in the wrong place or a typo can cause an international incident if you`re the President of the United States.

I don`t think I`m being anal-retentive when I criticize Trump for his grammar-challenged and typo-ridden tweets. When Trump sends a tweet at an ungodly hour in the moment, he should wake up whoever he`s sleeping with and ask her to check his spelling, punctuation and grammar.

But then again even if Trump`s tweets were free of typos and punctuation errors, they are still the ramblings of a sick and twisted mind.

Follow Robert Paul Reyes on Twitter: