A TED Talk That Matters: Why Do Cats Act So Weird?: Video

TED (Technology, Entertainment, Design) is an organization which posts talks online for free distribution, under the slogan `ideas worth spreading.`

Most of the TED talks deal with science and technology: Simulation theory, quantum mechanics, artificial intelligence …

If you`re an egghead with a doctorate in String theory TED talks are right up your alley.

But finally there`s a TED video for common folks, and it`s on a subject that everybody can relate to: Cats!

This 2016 video from TEDEd doesn`t feature a boring scientist speaking from a podium, it`s a cutesy animation narrated by distinguished cat expert Dr. Tony Buffington.

This video answers the questions that have perplexed cat lovers since time immemorial:

Why do cats seek higher ground?

Why do they sharpen their claws on your furniture?

Why do they purr?

Why do they love boxes?

Cat lovers might tend to dismiss a ponderous professor, but the adorable animation keeps our interest, and I recommend this video for all cat lovers, regardless if they`re into String theory or just like teasing their cats with a string.

Robert Paul Reyes’ New Year’s Resolutions

Every year like clockwork at this time of the year I post my Top Ten New Year`s Resolutions. But I`ve never published an update on how many of the resolutions I managed to keep.

My yearly Top Ten lists are a testament to my abject failure to keep my commitments, it`s always a case of the “spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Maybe I should channel a beauty pageant contestant and simply declare that my only resolution is to strive for world peace. But my regular readers know that I`m a cynical old bastard, and I would lose what little credibility I have.

A more rational course is simply to end the practice of posting my Top Ten New Year`s Resolutions. I really don`t need another reminder that I`m a weak human being whose dreams and aspirations are bigger than my ability to make them come to fruition.

I could post a list of the Top Ten Accomplishments of 2017:

I managed not to accumulate any debt this year, as the year comes to a close my only bills are my monthly utility bills.

I haven`t made any enemies this year (that I`m aware of). I may have legions of online enemies who hate me because of my sometimes controversial essays, but in real life I haven`t pissed somebody off to the extent that they consider me an enemy.

Make that my Top Two Accomplishments of 2017.

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. If you don`t have much to celebrate this year, do like everyone else, and manufacture some faux joy by getting sloppy drunk.

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The Internet is Real Life! Humankind is Destined to be Replaced by Artificial Intelligence!

It seems like only a few years ago the Internet was a harmless realm of entertainment and diversion from the trials and tribulations of real life.

It was a smorgasbord of porn, everything from softcore porn featuring lipstick lesbians pummeling each other with pillows to hardcore smut that wouldn`t be out of place in an adult book store in Times Square circa 1970.

It was a soapbox for citizen journalists to publish their editorials to a worldwide audience, a force of democratization that democracies as well as totalitarian countries perceived as a threat.

It was a platform for UFO wingnuts to post their out-of-focus videos on YouTube, spreading their galactic Gospel to the four corners of the world.

It was an outlet for maligned and ridiculed cat ladies to infect everyone with their love for their furry significant others, indeed it`s felines not porn or flying saucers that have broken the Internet.

The Internet is still all of these things, but today there`s less whimsy and more worry. Today we wake up to the tweets of a president who has weaponized social media to the detriment of the Internet and our democracy.

Bullies who once terrorized a playground can now wreak havoc on the virtual world, a child can no longer be free of a coward`s taunts when he`s home, the bully`s taunts can follow him home on Facebook and Twitter.

in the early days of the Internet the biggest threat we faced from hackers was annoying adware, now they can siphon our bank accounts in a nano-second.

The Internet is no longer a distraction from real life, it is real life. We shop, date, go to school, and pretty much do everything online. We can`t disconnect from the Internet without becoming a recluse and a hermit.

Life can be unbearable at times, and we live our lives in the virtual realm, so naturally the Internet is unbearable. I hate to sound pessimistic, but common sense and rationality won`t prevail online or in real life until artificial intelligence replaces humankind.

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Ivanka and Tiffany Trump Bikini-Clad Xmas Video Shocks the Nation

“A video of first daughters Tiffany and Ivanka Trump blowing kisses to their followers in bikinis is being met with mostly criticism in return online.

In the short clip uploaded to Twitter Tuesday, the two women can be seen posing in their bikinis as `O Holy Night` is heard playing in the background while lounging by the pool at their father`s Mar-a-Lago estate in Florida.”

AOL.Com

Let me start on a high note: Tiffany and Ivanka Trump are beautiful beyond words, it`s almost beyond comprehension that their father is an orange-faced pig, with a mouth that resembles a sphincter, wispy hair that looks like cotton candy that was dropped in a urine-filled toilet bowl, and the shrunken hands of a dwarf.

If anyone is waging a war on Christmas it`s these two bikini-clad airheads who are blowing kisses while “O Holy Night” is playing in the background. I doubt there are any holy nights at Mar-a-Lago when these strumpets are in the house.

These young millionaire chicks can escape the bitter cold and cavort in their daddy`s resort in sunny Florida, while most of us can`t afford to go on a vacation.

I will release my own video blowing kisses to these bimbos when their fuc*en moron father is impeached and removed from office.

Link to video:

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2017/12/27/tiffany-ivanka-trump-mocked-bikini-clad-video/23317943/

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Aussie Videotapes UFO on Christmas

“BE IT a bird, a plane, or Santa dropping off some last minute presents – something unexplained was seen circling the Sunshine Coast skies last night.

Coast resident Renee Anderson caught the unidentified flying object on video while celebrating Christmas with family and friends.”

Sunshine Coast Daily

On Christmas children search the skies in hopes of catching a glimpse of Santa`s sleigh, and child-like adults stare at the skies in hopes of seeing a UFO.

In Australia it`s never a good idea to scan the skies in search of UFOs, while your looking up a dingo may kidnap your baby, or a kangaroo might deliver a swift kick to your arse.

The newspaper article states that Renee Anderson was celebrating Christmas when she saw the UFO, and the filmed it and posted the video on Facebook. Perhaps if she had done a little less celebrating she wouldn`t have embarrassed herself and her family by posting the dubious video on social media.

Moral of this story:

If you videotape a UFO while you are drunk as a skunk, wait until you sober up before posting it online.

Link to video:

https://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/news/ufo-caught-on-video-flying-through-coast-skies/3298400/

Reprobate Church Welcomes Donald Trump and Melania Trump With Standing Ovation

President Donald Trump and First Lady Melania Trump arrived fashionably late for the Christmas Eve midnight mass service at Church of Bethesda-by-the-Sea in upscale West Palm Beach.

They were greeted with a standing ovation, no doubt in appreciation for how much Trump`s Tax plan will benefit them.

When a president who is the antithesis of the teachings of Jesus Christ receives a rousing standing ovation at a Christian church you know we are living in the End Days.

But at least the pastor spoke truth to power, gently and subtly rebuking Trump. The Reverend James Harlan started off with a quote from Nelson Mandela

It is never my custom to use words lightly. If 27 years in prison have done anything to us, it was to use the silence of solitude to make us understand how precious words are and how real speech is in its impact on the way people live and die.

Harlan went on to speak about the power of words to make the world a better place.

He ended with this admonition:

Your words can have as much destructive potential as they do healing.

I doubt if the pastor`s words had any effect on Trump. The words of an eloquent and soft-spoken minister won`t move Trump. Jehovah needs to dispatch Elijah the Prophet to warn the short-fingered vulgarian that if he doesn`t repent that God will cast him into the Lake of Fire.

While the pastor was preaching about the power of words to make this a wonderful world, Trump was probably posting nasty tweets from his pew.

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Melania’s Christmas Selfie: First Lady Looks Like Duck Face Tramp From Pit of Hell

“Melania Trump was in the holiday spirit on Christmas Day – but Twitter, not so much.

The first lady was trolled on social media after she posted a selfie with a filter featuring a Santa hat and sparkling reindeer.

#MerryChristmas, the first lady captioned the photo, adding emojis of a Christmas tree and Santa Clause.”

People Magazine

Melania`s Christmas selfie is the epitome of tackiness, the First Lady looks like the last tramp you want to meet on the way to Christmas mass.

Her Yuletide selfie would make a perfect cover for the Christmas edition of Hustler magazine, the centerfold would display the former model in all her pornographic glory.

Melania`s lips are puckered as if she`s being interviewed for an intern`s position in the Clinton Foundation.

Ladies, and I use the term loosely, may walk around with their lips puckered like whores n the gaudy elegance of Mar-a-Lago, but everyday Americans are walking around with a grimace as they contemplate the New Year with a president with a mouth that looks like a sphincter and a First Lady who puckers her lips like a slut.

Pic of Melania`s tacky Christmas selfie:

http://people.com/politics/melania-trump-filtered-christmas-selfie-twitter/

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Santa-Hating Cat Becomes Internet Superstar

It`s axiomatic that cats hate Christmas! They strip your Christmas tree of tinsel, and spread it all over your house. They shred the Christmas wrapping from the gifts under the tree. They disrespect the Nativity Scene, and plant their fat butts on the Baby Jesus. They caterwaul when Christmas carolers visit your home. They hiss like a Grinch on crack when you put a Santa`s cap on them. They recoil in horror when you dress like Santa Claus. And they climb up the chimney to escape when you play Mariah Carey`s “All I Want for Christmas.”

A pic of a kitty cat ominously standing over a tiny Santa Clause figurine has become a venerated image for Scrooges all over the world.

I echo this cat`s sentiments: Bah Humbug, enough with the Christmas cheer!

Pic of kitty hating on Santa:

http://rare.us/rare-humor/christmas-hating-cat-has-showdown-with-santa-claus-becomes-internet-celebrity/

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Donald Trump’s Huge Christmas Cards Are An Abomination

I love most of the trappings of Christmas, come the Holiday Season I want to get drunk on eggnog, park my chair under the mistletoe, and invite Christmas carolers to serenade me while I take a bath.

But there is one Christmas ritual that I loathe: Sending Christmas cards.

It`s a colossal waste of paper, what with Christmas cards and Christmas trees saving the planet really takes a back seat on Christmas.

It`s nerve-wracking trying to remember which of the persons I sent a card last year didn`t reciprocate. You really feel like a Tiny Tim loser when you send someone a Christmas card, and they blow you off.

They are sent out of a sense of social duty, not because you are filled with a warm and fuzzy Yuletide spirit.

That`s why I gave up sending Christmas cards years ago, I hope they will soon become as obsolete as stamps.

There are some wankers who still send out Xmas cards, for example Donald Trump sent poster-size ones to Congressional offices this year. It is a huge breach of etiquette to send out a gigantic Christmas card that can double as a placemat.

Receiving a Christmas card from Trump is like receiving one from Scrooge, the Grinch or the Antichrist.

Bah humbug, screw Donald Trump and his big ass Christmas cards!

Pic of Trump`s huge Christmas Card:

http://www.newsweek.com/donald-trump-melania-trump-large-christmas-card-eric-swalwell-755780

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Donald Trump Has No Brains and Mike Pence Has No Balls

Donald Trump assumed the presidency with the bases loaded, the Republicans controlled both chambers of Congress, and even though he was a political neophyte he was confident that his team would be hitting legislative victories out of the park all year long.

But since day one the Trump administration has been mired in corruption, dysfunction and infighting, and as the year comes to a close Trump`s disastrous Tax plan is his only major legislative victory.

In his final Cabinet meeting of 2017, Trump bragged about the many historic accomplishments of his inaugural year. He then turned the mic over to Vice President Mike Pence, and instead of injecting a little bit of truth he praised his boss to high heaven.

Pence peppered his speech with so many “congratulations” and “thank yous” that any other president would have been so embarrassed that he would interrupted his sycophantic praise. But of course Trump expects and encourages such extravagant praise from his subordinates.

If you had just woken up after a year-long coma, and heard Pence`s remarks you would have thought that Trump has surprised everyone, and turned into a Lincolnseque statesman.

Unfortunately, the truth is that history books will record that the first year of the Trump administration was an unmitigated disaster.

All year long Pence has cleaned up after his boss, after every intemperate remark and vulgar tweet, he has attempted to spin Trump`s toxic comments into pearls of candor and wisdom.

Bottom line: Trump is a racist and misogynist buffoon and Pence is a spineless coward, and I implore Congress to impeach and remove from office both of these clowns.

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December 2017 Archives Page Two:

http://robertpaulreyes.com/december-2017-archives-page-two/