Snowflakes Are An Existential Threat To Our Democracy

“Snowflakes: An overly sensitive person, incapable of dealing with any opinions that differ from their own. These people can often be seen congregating in `safe zones` on college campuses.”


Our colleges and universities are producing snowflake graduates who are incapable of dealing with the real world, years after they graduate they are still living in their parents` basement. Most of these wankers don`t even own automobiles, they can`t deal with the myriad microaggressions they encounter driving a mile to the nearest Starbucks.

A university degree is supposed to prepare a graduate for the dog-eat-dog adult world. In the crucible of an intellectual environment where they are exposed to many religious and political beliefs, by the time they graduate they will be secure in their own belief system. That`s the way it used to be, no more.

Today college students are so intellectually fragile and mentally feeble that they are susceptible to being traumatized by the slightest whiff of speech that`s not politically correct. The slightest microaggression or trigger they encounter will, pardon the phrase, trigger a state of disassociation.

Instead of kicking these snowflakes in the ass to motivate them to come to their senses, the professors and faculty coddle these morons and even go as far as to establish “safe zones” where free speech and common sense is banned.

When the Zombie Apocalypse finally arrives, I won`t attempt to reason with zombies or inquire why they are so agitated, I will simply blow them away with my sawed-off double barrel shotgun.

If snowflakes moves into your neighborhood don`t attempt to understand them, they have been indoctrinated beyond salvation. Before they can say “microaggression alert” or “trigger warning,” box their ears, and let them know in no uncertain terms that there is no safe zone for them in your neighborhood.

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Johnny Manziel Has Some Social Media Advice for Donald Trump

Yo @POTUS even I know to stay away from the notifications section on twitter. S— will drive you crazy, lead the country and let them hate.

Johnny Manziel

Johnny Manziel won the Heisman Trophy as a freshman, but too much drugs, booze, and an allegation that he assaulted his girlfriend led to an early exit from the NFL.

Trump has been counseled by pundits, politicians and preachers not to have such a thin skin, but he still responds to every slight with a barrage of venomous tweets.

Maybe Trump will listen to a fellow dumbass who also has a penchant for venting on his favorite social media platform.

When I first started posting my editorials online I received tons of emails, but since the advent of social media most of the feedback is on Twitter and Facebook, very few people take the time to write an email.

The first time someone called me a shi*head on Twitter it stung, but after being called an expletive a gazillion times, hateful tweets have all the sting of a lover whispering sweet nothings in my ear.

Yo Trump, heed Manziel`s advice: Turn of your Twitter notifications, in fact deactivate your Twitter account, and focus on leading our nation.

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Smugglers Disguise Packages of Marijuana as Watermelons

“U.S. Customs and Border Protection, Office of Field Operations at the Pharr International Bridge cargo facility discovered 3,000 pounds of alleged marijuana within a commercial shipment of fresh watermelons.

CBP officers utilized a non-intrusive imagining (NII) system along with the help of a canine team to locate the narcotics. CBP officers extracted 390 packages containing a total of 3,000 pounds of alleged marijuana concealed within the watermelon shipment.

U.S. Customs and Border Protection

In a perfect world there would be no need to smuggle marijuana, medical and recreational marijuana would be legal, and everybody from blue-haired grannies to blue-haired millennials would be growing weed in their backyard.

Needless to say we don`t live in a perfect world, we live in a dystopian society that wastes billions in a mindless “war on drugs” that targets minorities and enriches drug lords.

America would be a much saner and peaceful place if every American consumed a watermelon-sized package of cannabis on a yearly basis.

Smugglers are ingenious, they are always coming up with creative ways to smuggle marijuana and other controlled substances, but concealing the magic herb in a packages meant to look like a watermelons wasn`t one of their best ideas. Click the link at the bottom of this page to see the fake watermelons.

Reading an article like this that illustrates the insanity of the war on drugs is enough to make any sane person light up a joint.

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Donald Trump: Four Years of Tweets, Typos and Temper Tantrums!

I am honered to serve you, the great American People, as your 45th President of the United States!

Donald Trump tweet

The British and American spellings of the word “honored” are different, but if a British student or an American student employed the Trumpian spelling of the word his teacher would make him wear a dunce cap.

The tweet was quickly deleted and re-posted with the correct spelling, but not before Trump once again exposed his impulsive nature by posting a tweet without taking the time to use spell-check.

Maybe I am being unfair to Trump, if I was cursed with pudgy baby hands my tweets would probably also be full of typos. In any event, I`m certainly not surprised Trump misspelled “honored,” after all what the hell does he know about honor?

Dear God, four years of tweets, typos and temper tantrums!

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Kellyanne Conway’s Patriotic Inauguration Outfit Has Me All Hot and Bothered

Since 1998 I`ve posted thousands of articles online, and this is the first and last time I will write a fashion essay. Fashionista I`m not.

First Lady Melania Trump, a former model, wore a baby blue cropped jacket for her husband`s inauguration, losing Democratic candidate Hillary Clinton rocked a white pantsuit, but Kellyanne Conway, a senior aide to Donald Trump stole the show.

Kellyanne wore a $3,600 double-breasted Gucci coat that had social media in a tizzy; she was compared to Paddington Bear, Napoleon, a nutcracker, and Yankee Doodle`s bride.

It takes real balls to wear such an extravagant outfit; Kellyanne must tote a bowling bag to carry her balls.

A woman with confidence turns me on, even though Kellyanne is well past her prime, I would knock boots with the patriotic hottie in a New York minute.

Kellyanne was basically telling her haters: I`m down with “America First” and “Make America Great Again,” and if you don`t like it you can kiss my red, white and blue ass.

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Woman Beats Pregnant Sister Over Weave

“Angered that her pregnant sister refused to return a weave, a Florida woman allegedly pummeled her sibling, according to cops who arrested the accused assailant on a felony battery charge.

Police allege that Aryanna Ieasha Reed, 25, battered her sister Tyteahni, 24, during a confrontation Saturday afternoon at the victim`s Jacksonville apartment.

As detailed in a police report, Tyteahni told investigators that Reed had called her to demand the return of the hairpiece, which Reed had given to her sister as a Christmas present. When Tyteahni refused to return the weave, Aryanna came to the victim`s apartment and confronted her.”

The Smoking Gun

I`m cognizant that in da hood Tide bottles have become ad hoc street currency, with a bottle going for either $5 cash or $10 worth of weed or crack cocaine. In da hood it`s de rigueur for women to wear weaves; I wonder if weaves are used as a barter system in the inner city?

It certainly seems that weaves are highly treasured in economically-deprived municipalities, witness a weave in this sordid tale presented as a Christmas present.

Perhaps Aryanna was out of cash and she was desperate to buy crack, so she asked her sister to return the weave she had given to her as a Christmas present to use as barter to purchase crack. Not surprisingly the sister wasn`t inclined to return the weave considering she was wearing it on her head.

Violence is always lurking beneath the surface in the ghetto, and this verbal dispute over a weave quickly degenerated into a bloody fistfight with the pregnant sister getting the worst of it.

Aryanna was charged with aggravated battery on a pregnant woman, and naturally she accused the arresting officer of being a racist. I guess if a cop arrests a black woman for beating up her pregnant sister that makes him a racist.

Just another day in da hood …

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Jerry Rice’s Popeyes Chicken Commercial an Abomination! May He Rot in Hell!

I lived in the San Francisco Bay Area during the glory days of the San Francisco 49ers, watching Joe Montana connect with Jerry Rice for touchdown after touchdown was pure poetry in motion. Joe Cool and Jerry Rice exemplified grace and elegance on and off the field, and they are gridiron legends.

After his retirement Montana has appeared in several commercials, including the classic ATT commercial featuring Montana and Steve Young. Montana has managed to make money as as commercial spokesman without embarrassing himself.

Jerry Rice, on the other hand, has almost succeeded in destroying his elegant legacy on the football field with one tacky and disturbing commercial.

Rice is perpetrating the racist stereotype that blacks sho nuff love dem some fried chicken, this toxic commercial must be seen to be believed.

The commercial depicts Rice wearing a football helmet with the Popeyes Chicken logo, that has a piece of fried chicken attached to it.

I`m a Latino and I love tacos, but common sense and self-pride would inhibit me from wearing a T-shirt with the slogan: Orale ese, gimme some tacos.

Shame on Jerry Rice, he is an embarrassment to athletes, blacks, Americans and the entire human race. If there`s a God in heaven he will choke on a chicken bone and wake up in hell.

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Donald Trump Already Has 2020 Slogan: Keep America Great!


“Donald Trump hasn`t even taken the oath of office for his first term, but he`s already beginning to plot his re-election. He`s starting with a new slogan: Keep America Great.

With full confidence that he will be able to make good on his promise to `Make America Great Again,` the Republican president-elect told The Washington Post in an interview published Wednesday that he already has a vision for 2020.

`Are you ready?` he asked his interviewer. `Keep America Great,` exclamation point.

Trump immediately demanded his lawyer come into the room and explore whether the slogan should be trademarked. He later vacillated on whether the exclamation point was needed.”


America was already great before Donald Trump was elected president, and the greatness of America manifested in her diversity, freedom and creativity will ensure that America will remain great even after four or eight years of a Trump administration.

Trump is brimming with confidence as evidenced by his pondering a 2020 reelection slogan, unfortunately like any run-of-the-mill egomaniac he`s only confident about his personal success. As long as his brand is on the rise, I don`t think Trump cares if Putin annexes Alaska, China erects an artificial island twenty miles from Taiwan, and Iran invades Iraq.

I hope and trust that the majority of Americans who didn`t buy Trump`s “Make America Great” crap will continue to make America great by opposing his fascist agenda every step of the way.

I`m hesitant to offer Trump any advice, but he should ditch the exclamation point, it didn`t work out particularly well for Jeb Bush.

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Yellow-headed Moth With Tiny Genitalia Named After Donald Trump

“A yellow-headed moth with tiny genitalia now shares a name with the nation`s soon-to-be 45th President.

Scientists have named a new species of moth Neopalpa donaldtrumpi after President-elect Donald Trump – partially because the yellow, puffy scales on the critter`s head look like the Republican`s signature coiffed `do.

`The specific epithet is selected because of the resemblance of the scales on the frons (head) of the moth to Mr. Trump`s hairstyle,` taxonomist Vazrick Nazari wrote in a new paper.”

New York Daily News

It makes perfect sense to name a moth after Donald Trump, moths are attracted to artificial lights, and we are all familiar with Trump`s attraction to klieg lights.

A moth that`s attracted to artificial lights, who has puffy yellow scales on his head that bear a remarkable resemblance to Trump`s hairdo, and has tiny genitalia — even in comparison to other moths, how could scientists not name it after Trump?

Moths are considered major agricultural pests in many parts of the world, Donald Trump is considered a pest, not only in America, but throughout the world.

When a moth invades my home I kill it with a fly swatter with a flick of my wrist, would to God it were as easy to get rid of Donald J. Trump.

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Unipiper Keeps Portland Weird by Shoveling Snow While Riding Unicycle

“Oregon`s Unipiper proved `Keep Portland Weird` is an all-seasons struggle when he was filmed shoveling snow while riding his unicycle and playing bagpipes.

The Unipiper, aka Brian Kidd, posted a video to YouTube showing him shoveling snow from the sidewalk in his Portland neighborhood.
Kidd, whose unicycle multitasking videos have repeatedly gone viral, rides his unicycle and plays `The Imperial March` from Star Wars on his flame-shooting bagpipes while clearing the snow.”


I love snow, it turns even the most gritty urban neighborhood into a virginal winter wonderland. But after a few moments of gazing with wonder and amazement at the beautiful scenery, I think to myself: Damn, I have to shovel my driveway!

Clearing a driveway is a precarious task, if you exert too much energy you risk slipping and cracking your skull. That`s why I usually pay a neighborhood kid a few dollars to do it for me.

The unipiper is a wanker plain and simple: How dare he show up average males, who can`t walk and chew gum at the same time, by shoveling snow while riding his unicycle and playing flaming bagpipes.

The unipiper should consider keeping Portland weird by jumping off a skyscraper while clad in diapers and playing a flute.

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